The Jen / GG dictionary - The hidden meaning of words

[FluffingGloves]

Alright. In addition to the FAQ that includes life saving things such as explanations for deep shaves and where to find the tosh episode, I thought a dictionary may have its place here as well! We all know that...

Organizing = putting things in bins,
Collection / backups = a crapton of hoarded items,
Loftice = loft+office = a place to go when wanting to avoid human interaction at all cost,
Donsplaining = a (drunken) rant that goes around in (redundant) circles, ending up nowhere.

...so what other hidden meanings are we aware of?

[blameitonthealtitude]

Schneck - the area where your neck meets your shoulder. It's a very troublesome area for Jennifer.

[FluffingGloves]

Winnie = a mop with a broken soul through which Jen speaks at times

[pussyglitter]

Holy schmoly - holy shit!

Our Princess does not cuss.

[FluffingGloves]

Melissa - what you call people when trying to fit in

[blameitonthealtitude]

stummy - stomach. But cuter.

[HighlyRequestedRack]

Loose/flowy - A shirt that fits as it should

[FluffingLikeJen]

PD= Personal Day
CNP= Creative Necessities Pouch

[FluffingLikeJen]

whoops guess I should explain further

PD = Personal Day but really is a day when Jen shops til she drops even though that is what she does most days anyways. It just gives her an excuse to shop whilst giving it a fancy name.

CNP= a totally unnecessary pile of shit. End of story

[Angie V]

Size 4 = size 8
Too loose = Pretty tight with barely any room to move
the flu = the sniffles

[PrePackingPrep]

Work = any thing you could ever possibly do. Putting away groceries, doing laundry, spending two hours decorating your house for Halloween

Busy = much like work, except more of it. Impossible tasks such as grocery shopping and going to the mall. Being busy requires lots of resting in between and lots of treats throughout the day.

[PreFall Haul]

A backup = extra item that is not necessary in any sense of the word

Go-to = an adjective used to describe one of Jen's approx 125,676 possessions

Walking Pharmacy = a bag that neither walks nor has anything to do with a pharmacy, but contains at least 35 items of crap you will forget you have in your purse and never use. Extra points if it is a Chanel/LV/Prada pouch costing over $250.

[DecorationPolice]

A special treat = food that you pretend to eat only occasionally because it doesn't fit with the way you portray your diet, but in fact you eat it whenever you feel like it, so pretty much every day...

A bunny = a miserable dog

[LittleLoftice]

Mushrooms = a sauce.

Pop in = spending a couple hours at a store spending hundreds of dollars

[Angie V]

Freezer = a place where food never spoils; i.e. a frozen batch of soup in a ziplock container was apparently edible a year after making it.

[FluffingGloves]

Mushrooms = a sauce.

Vacation - continue with your daily routines except in a different place. Eat only treats.

Treat - sugar/fat laden calorie bomb eaten most every day. Not always shown on camera.

[MushroomsAreASauce]

This thread =

[Athletic Calves]

Cutest Boy = what Jen calls Don after receiving an expensive gift. Usually you can imagine she thinks he is just a tub of lard she needs to sleep with once a month to continue receiving said gifts.

Desperate Times = what Jen calls food when she actually wants to indulge when travelling and is feeling guilty. Mind you, Jen normally packs a Whole Foods lunchable and other back-ups of what she considers healthy snacks so the whole "desperate times" thing is merely a bull-shit cover up.

Busy Bee = a code word for writing out elaborate to-do lists that include such pressing tasks as "wake up" and "eat lunch." Yes, our Jen would never get her incredibly taxing tasks done without her many planners and lists! Busy Beeing Jen!

[Athletic Calves]

Good for Travel = When Jen receives samples from her myriad sample box programs and declares them "good for travel," what she really means is that they will end up in a bin with hundreds of other samples, never to be used.

Packing = Attempting to bring every single luxury item to keep up your cushy lifestyle when you travel (even for just an overnight trip). This causes a great deal of anxiety for Jen as she must pack not one, but two large hamster bottles for her nearly unconscious dog. Heaven forbid anyone in the Ross household go without any of their accoutrements for even an hour.

[MattressCrowSoapJar]

Separation Anxiety - When your dog uses your absence as an opportunity to remove its ugly, uncomfortable, overpriced bows.

Friends - Strangers on the internet who "only see eight minutes" of your life and couldn't possibly know you if they say anything remotely critical

Friends Alternate Definition - People you pay to interact with you, like nail techs and therapists.