Problematic Issues and Concerns in the Costuber Community

[Cinamomo]

I don't care if topics get brought up, historical or modern. If people, especially COT, want to talk about something, I want them to talk about it. I want them to be clear, honest, and concise. I don't want passive aggressive, vague allusions. They want to talk about their convictions? Stand firm in it.

Abby's comment doesn't seem out of character for her, and the statement is one that is widely understood. She doesn't need to do a deep dive video to say where she stands, and, yes, even people who are goofy are able to be serious about things and have depth of thought and belief.

It's the vagueness, like Ora Lin's frustration without saying what was frustrating. It's M&D's snarky side comments or educating that doesn't actually specify what they're taking about. If they are creating a platform where they address topics, and are the "activists" in the community, they need to gain the courage to actually commit to that path and do it. Activists don't vaguebook, they say exactly what they mean.

This is exactly what l meant before, but put in better words.

[Iamnothere]

Sew Black is calling out something M&D posted. M&D's response is something I'd consider a cop out. I'm posting the stories here. There are a lot, so I'm going to have to do them in batches. I've numbered the stories I screenshot, in case they get out of order.

[Iamnothere]

Sew Black is calling out something M&D posted. M&D's response is something I'd consider a cop out. I'm posting the stories here. There are a lot, so I'm going to have to do them in batches. I've numbered the stories I screenshot, in case they get out of order.

[Iamnothere]

Sew Black is calling out something M&D posted. M&D's response is something I'd consider a cop out. I'm posting the stories here. There are a lot, so I'm going to have to do them in batches. I've numbered the stories I screenshot, in case they get out of order.

The other two posts M&D are talking about are the "I need my racist family" and "I don't need these people" they posted a while ago on their main page.

[Koalaty_knits]

Ha! Muse is still pretending they don't use their page for activism.

[sporkspeaks]

What is it white people are supposed to be lying about to be good little allies?

As part of the LGBT+ community, I'm tired of the "you must do XYZ at all moments to be a bare minimum ally, and make sure you set yourself on fire to provide a bit of light while you're at it" attitude. It's garbage and not productive, pushing regular folks away and antagonizing members of the affected communities like the pushback we're seeing here.

No group of minorities needs this kind of fake monolithic face.

I hope this leads to more opinions being shared and Muse getting unseated as the voice of social justice in a hobby they're truly ignorant about.

[throwie]

Also gotta love the assumption that all "yt" people are connected to wealth. Just goes to show how little Muse understands about intersectionality... white privilege for a whole lot of folks just means that out of all the shitty things in their life, the way they are treated because of their race is not one of them. Does Muse think that white people can't be poor/lower middle class from equally poor/lower middle class families and communities? How can Muse live in the US and say that with a straight face??

[herewego2]

Ha! Muse is still pretending they don't use their page for activism.

"I'm stepping away from activism on this page, but I'm also going to take the time to share every single slide of this post." That doesn't really add up.

I'm glad someone called them out on how extreme they can be when it comes to allyship and guilt tripping people into supporting their causes. "If you aren't willing to lie to help me, then you're not an ally" feels extreme even for them.

[formerdennysemployee]

Ah yes, the wealth I am connected to. With my [checks family tree] grandma receiving social security and food stamps, and my parents who just paid off my mom’s cancer treatment. Gotta grift from them to donate to peoples’ gofundmes on social media. Doesn’t count if you’re going to protests, or donating your home-grown food (never mind your money) to food banks and meal programs that serve black communities, or harassing your local school board not to be so racist. If you’re not lying to your parents to get the $50 they would’ve used to take your fixed-income grandma out to breakfast at a cheap, local sit-down restaurant as a treat, you’re not a real ally.

[Iamnothere]

The post and poster M&D shared basically says that people should lie about what they're raising money for, to get the funds raised, and then give it to BIPOC.

"I'm tired, and don't engage in activism work on this page, but I am not too tired to do it on my other page. I am also not too tired to post the education and activism on my main page, but I will not call it education or activism, and also will not talk about it, except when I talk about it. Also, the post I shared in agreement has nothing to do with me, so talk to the person who made it instead. I am merely spreading it even more to people who follow me and listen to what I say and educate on. But I'm not educating and your qualms and concerns over what I'm advocating for shouldn't be directed at me at all."

[crafternoon_delight]

"address this with the OP" - isn't Muse the OP? Isn't the OP Muse's "educational" account???

[fizzwizz12]

alrighty, as long as you all are cool with whatever discussions you have and decide not to fight with each other. enjoy yourselves.
i'm not here to censor anyone, just making sure that things don't derail into angry arguments.

[LakeGalore]

What is it white people are supposed to be lying about to be good little allies?

As part of the LGBT+ community, I'm tired of the "you must do XYZ at all moments to be a bare minimum ally, and make sure you set yourself on fire to provide a bit of light while you're at it" attitude. It's garbage and not productive, pushing regular folks away and antagonizing members of the affected communities like the pushback we're seeing here.

No group of minorities needs this kind of fake monolithic face.

I hope this leads to more opinions being shared and Muse getting unseated as the voice of social justice in a hobby they're truly ignorant about.

Yeah, the bare minimum of being an ally is to just not be a dick/not actively do anything that makes the lives of others harder in any way that you can, right? Bullying people/being rude by telling them that the only right way is your way will only gain you enemies, not allies.

I will be *so happy* when Muse gets told to shut up and fuck off (though maybe not in those exact words) by the community, or just sets their account to private. It's just tiring to hear/read all that, *especially* in the spaces where you can't filter away phrases/tags like on twitter and tumblr. I follow people in the costuming community to see their projects, not to get lectured at by someone who repeatedly does more harm than good.

[Iamnothere]

"address this with the OP" - isn't Muse the OP? Isn't the OP Muse's "educational" account???

Similar name, but no. Muse's is "not one of your little friends". OP is "not the respectable type"

[IrishBreakfastTea]

"address this with the OP" - isn't Muse the OP? Isn't the OP Muse's "educational" account???

Technically, no - Muse wasn't the OP. The OP is an account called @nottherespectabletype, and Muse shared the slides from a post in the M&D stories. It took me a while to figure out that Muse was just reposting a lot of stuff in their stories, not typing everything themselves. It doesn't help that the names of the accounts they share from are often in white against a pale backdrop, so it's easy to miss that it's a re-share.

But what I find perfectly in keeping with Muse's character is the deflection. When Sew_Black questions some dodgy directive to lie and steal, Muse says "Take it up with the OP". Oh no no no. You said it 'spoke to you'. Since you're so fond of telling people exactly what and how to think, what did you specifically want "yt" people to do once they read these infographics?

[formerdennysemployee]

I feel like I should maybe specify that I did understand the original post- and Muse and the OP unreasonable and kind of insufferable isn’t going to stop me from helping people, it’s just going to make me think they specifically are kind of shitty. I advocate for BIPOC because they’re people, and therefore deserve to be treated fairly in all situations, which they are not right now.

However, that post stinks of the same type of “fleece out your $2 to donate that you could’ve spent on some little fuckit expense” demands that people trying to “redistribute wealth” try to make like it’s going to make much of a difference structurally if me and my friends keeping passing around the same $20 to whoever’s short on rent this month, because someone who can spare $20 has money, and therefore now has the power of the upper-class behind them. It’s a nice gesture, and sometimes that’s what you gotta do to help someone in your community, but it’s not huge.

If the HCC can be held collectively responsible for not jumping when muse thinks and calling out people for petty microagressions, they can certainly endure some general questions and concerns about some instagram stories they themselves went out of their way to repost (and therefore platformed) on the blog they “don’t do activism on”.

[Julienne]

I've gotta say the "what about being an ally to other marginalised groups in return?" slide is brilliant. Muse and her trip to bolster JKRowling's wallet Harry Potter World and her Holocaust distortioning question of "why only white people in (European WWII) death camps" and her only charitable causes being herself and her broken car is a pretty bad ally to other marginalised groups.

[Iamnothere]

I've gotta say the "what about being an ally to other marginalised groups in return?" slide is brilliant. Muse and her trip to bolster JKRowling's wallet Harry Potter World and her Holocaust distortioning question of "why only white people in (European WWII) death camps" and her only charitable causes being herself and her broken car is a pretty bad ally to other marginalised groups.

I forgot M&D had gotten a car with mutual aid of their followers. I wonder why they don't talk about that experience and how it helped them, how they're passing it forward, when they talk about helping other people.

[Koalaty_knits]

I've gotta say the "what about being an ally to other marginalised groups in return?" slide is brilliant. Muse and her trip to bolster JKRowling's wallet Harry Potter World and her Holocaust distortioning question of "why only white people in (European WWII) death camps" and her only charitable causes being herself and her broken car is a pretty bad ally to other marginalised groups.

I forgot M&D had gotten a car with mutual aid of their followers. I wonder why they don't talk about that experience and how it helped them, how they're passing it forward, when they talk about helping other people.

I vaguely remember them talking about the car, months ago now. People had asked why they got the car with mutual aid, and then went to Potter World. I can imagine why they might not want to open that can again.

[IrishBreakfastTea]

Muse did actually re-address the car-before-HP-World-trip relatively recently (about a month or so ago). It was just a series of stories one day, and that was it. IIRC, they shared a screenshot of a comment (I think a YouTube comment) asking them why they drummed up mutual aid for their car and then went on holiday. In the next slide Muse said they got some of the tickets from a friend who works in Universal, M & D themselves had some leftover free passes to Disney from when they worked there that were about to expire, they stayed with Muse's mother so had free accommodation, and that they also saved beforehand for the spending money/petrol/food. Then the last sentence was the sting in the tail - "Some people just don't like to see Black folks be happy". Eh,no (I mean, yeah, there are SOME people who are that awful). But generally most people don't like to feel taken advantage of, especially when they answered the call to help with one specific purpose and then see those same people who asked for help living it up shortly thereafter.

This is actually the perfect example of Muse getting a tiny taste of their own medicine (and not liking it very much). They put something out on social media, people put 2 and 2 together and got 7, and Muse (barely) got taken to task for it. And instead of recognising that the optics of their trip just after asking for help with their car might not have looked so good, they spun their favourite persecution narrative into their answer.

Honestly, they could have avoided the whole thing (not that it ended up being much of a thing) by addressing it head on. Something like "We had this trip planned before our car broke down, it's mostly a free trip taking advantage of free tickets and accom; we didn't fund this trip with your donations, but your donations meant that we didn't have to dip into our savings and cancel it". But in typical Muse fashion there's none of the humility they expect of the people they call out, and plenty of deflection and accusations of their own.