Costuber/Costuming Community

[LadyViorica]

I gotta say, I don't get the condemnation of Abby for doing the elf costume thing instead of dressing up at Janefest. She said it was a bad thing to do when others did it, so she . . . did something else instead. Isn't that pretty much living up to her own words?

[Julienne]

I actually tolerate Abby more in this case. She seems to have a legitimate reason to not like Lauren. Is it professional or mature? No, but I get it.

But she didn't crucify Lauren for being a shitty ex-boss. She got her not-good friend Sewstine to spy out her CW plans and once Lauren fell into the trap of going to CW during the weekend of Juneteenth (not Juneteenth itself, just the weekend) and her BIPOC friend Samantha couldn't come, she snapped it shut with an epic rant on how racist Lauren's trip was. That Abby was a historical interpreter at CW for a lot of Juneteenth weekends and the only BIPOC she invited to her Louisville trip, also could not come, was just dramatic irony. Or actually, Abby is just a complete hypocrite who didn't give a shit at all about invites to BIPOC or that CW is an plantation.

My issue with the elfs in Louisville on the weekend of Janefest is that it shows that as Abby and Co were condemning or planning to condemn Lauren for the Juneteenth thing, they were simultanously planning to attend Janefest. They didn't care that either location were a plantation, only that Lauren was on one.

I have to give it to less popular social justice costubers. Some of them have actually skin in the game, as they are BIPOC themselves. But I don't have the patience for a WASP who uses racism as a front instead to actually talk about Lauren has done.

It's the same game BB plays in regards to CH. Not giving up what actually happened, only implying they are horrible people. But it's Abby and BB who use the language of racial/social justice to avenge whatever wrongs were heaped on their lily-white behinds. But then if people knew what they inciting moment was, would people necessarily side with them? Or would they go: "Abby, American Duchess was facing bankruptcy and it was either you or the company going under. Stop being an asshole."

[Justagoat]

What bothered me was that it felt like she thought "oh darn, now we can't wear our regency costumes to Jane fest. I know, let's buy some elf ears on amazon, and then we won't have to deal with all the colonizer stuff I told everyone they should talk about!"

But what bothered me more was the lack of mention of the interpreters who worked to create a new program about the enslaved people at Jane fest. She had a real opportunity to talk about the new programing, something you'd think she'd be excited about, given her connection to col williamsburg. Or to mention the lack of POC in the suffragette movement? But after damning everyone else she chose to focus on eating burgers and frolicking in the rain. It made the rant feel like a proformance to me.

[NearlyThere]

Okay, so I went through the chat I had with my friend during the Secret Santa thing. She was pretty new to the server and didn't use names so I can't fully spill the tea here, but here's the gist of it.

People had been asking about Secret Santa so the organizer posted some guidelines about the event and how it would go. Then she left for vacation. Someone, who I'm now guessing was DSA Threads, asked if it had to be called Secret Santa because she was Jewish. Someone else said they were pagan and wouldn't mind if the name was changed. Some people tossed around name ideas and other people said they'd rather the event be called Secret Santa because it was what viewers expected and the algorithm already pushed those videos. Someone even said to call your video what you want, but pop Secret Santa at the end of the title or in the tags so Youtube pushes it. There was back and forth and the admins stepped in and asked that the conversation be paused until the organizer got back. People started accusing the admins of silencing them. It sounded like things got heated, especially after someone wrote a long post about the origin of Santa of how it wasn't originally a Christian symbol but a Pagan one. The organizer checked in while away, was very overwhelmed by the huge, angry text thread, and angry that everyone kept arguing after being asked to wait, and canceled the event because it had caused so much drama just after being announced. She and DSA Threads both left the server after that. It came out later that they're both autistic so that probably contributed to their reactions.

Later, when it came up again, it seemed part of the problem was that everyone thought it was a big community event like CoCoVid, but it was actually a more privately organized collaboration that everyone was invited to. So it was being treated as a "majority rules" thing instead of a "the person organizing this gets last say" thing. Plus, apparently Secret Santa is a big thing in whatever country the organizer was from so it was kinda like she was sharing part of her culture and everyone else tried to force her to change it. Of course, I only got my friend's POV so there might have been more, but that was a summary of what she was sending to me when it was happening.

Also, according to my friend, a lot of the people being the most vocal about vaguebooking about Secret Santa admitted during the "drive out the big channels" conversation that they weren't in the group during the actual Secret Santa debacle. They joined afterwards so they're only going off the word of a few people.

I trying to follow along. Secret Santa was cancelled because Jewish people wanted to be included but there were people wouldn't let that happen? Do you know who those people were?

I'm trying to find the link between that and certain people allegedly driving out the big channels.

I'm so confused because this all seems really fragmented.

[LadyViorica]

It's the same game BB plays in regards to CH. Not giving up what actually happened, only implying they are horrible people. But it's Abby and BB who use the language of racial/social justice to avenge whatever wrongs were heaped on their lily-white behinds. But then if people knew what they inciting moment was, would people necessarily side with them? Or would they go: "Abby, American Duchess was facing bankruptcy and it was either you or the company going under. Stop being an asshole."

Has BB ever said anything social justice-y about CH? I got the impression that her only public statement on the matter was that they've parted ways and she can't say why because of "very serious legal reasons."

I will say, Abby's response to the CW event was disingenuous at best, especially since she went SO hard on participants without mentioning her own conflict of interest (her history with Lauren.) But as to how she and her friends handled their road trip weekend, it was - if not the best possible way to handle it - at the very least in line with her initial statement of "don't party on plantations" and "don't attend museums in costume without asking." I agree it would have been better if she did something to shine a light on BIPOC programming, but the middle road is certainly not the worst approach.

(I'm still baffled by Sewstine's role in the whole thing. I don't think it was anything as nefarious as "okay, you go spy on these people and then blow up their spot afterwards, for me" but I still don't know why she did what she did.)

[LadyWhistleblower]

All this does is prove to me that the main people driving the drama would rather cut their noses off to spite everyone’s faces.

The big accounts wouldn’t be hurt by the sudden decision to pull the Secret Santa project. It would be the middling to smaller accounts that would. Accounts like DSA Threads would have benefited a lot from the algorithm boost. It sounds like she didn’t want to see it end, but wanted more inclusive language, but then refused any of the compromises offered and escalated the tensions until the organizer cut the project entirely. Gets mad that no one is patronizing her and then gets madder when people do.

The whole point about the Secret Santa exchange was to manipulate the YT algorithm for more views and follows. More views, more potential for $. It wasn’t about forcing someone’s religion down everyone’s throats. The ones screaming the loudest about “oppression” in the Costube community probably are fully aware of this, but saw the opportunity to push their own agendas and jumped on it. And it’s looking more and more like those accounts are now trying to claw their way to the top of the heap and take down whoever they can in the process.

It’s going to end up with mutually assured destruction after too much longer. People who got to the top through call-outs and shaming aren’t going to be able to sustain their success in the long run because they have none of the talent or skill at producing costumes and slick videos about costumes like the ones they’re trying to take down.

Spend more time sewing and less time being shitty, people. That’s how you actually build a loyal following.

I have a friend who has been into historical costuming for a long time and knows some people who know these costubers. She says she isn’t surprised by this stuff especially now that there's money and fame involved.

My friends said she saw something about M&D wanting to jump on the drama with trying to get some of the big names cancelled. Which maybe what was going on with the whole Juneteenth thing. I guess it’s working because she’s now making enough $ on kofi to afford fancy dinners out with her hubby and a new car after her recent accident (which I don’t really think was timed to capitalize on all the Juneteenth drama, but it sure was convenient).

It definately seems like DSA Threads and M&D have similar goals and are working together.

[Julienne]

Has BB ever said anything social justice-y about CH? I got the impression that her only public statement on the matter was that they've parted ways and she can't say why because of "very serious legal reasons."

It was just "very serious reasons" nothing legal or even personal about it. But it was in the context of the Foundations Revealed finalists being mostly white and the poverty tier folks not getting a vote. There have been about a gazillion comments on BB's own social media accounts about CH and yet BB's only acknowledgement of the rift was in response to that.

[NearlyThere]

All this does is prove to me that the main people driving the drama would rather cut their noses off to spite everyone’s faces.

The big accounts wouldn’t be hurt by the sudden decision to pull the Secret Santa project. It would be the middling to smaller accounts that would. Accounts like DSA Threads would have benefited a lot from the algorithm boost. It sounds like she didn’t want to see it end, but wanted more inclusive language, but then refused any of the compromises offered and escalated the tensions until the organizer cut the project entirely. Gets mad that no one is patronizing her and then gets madder when people do.

The whole point about the Secret Santa exchange was to manipulate the YT algorithm for more views and follows. More views, more potential for $. It wasn’t about forcing someone’s religion down everyone’s throats. The ones screaming the loudest about “oppression” in the Costube community probably are fully aware of this, but saw the opportunity to push their own agendas and jumped on it. And it’s looking more and more like those accounts are now trying to claw their way to the top of the heap and take down whoever they can in the process.

It’s going to end up with mutually assured destruction after too much longer. People who got to the top through call-outs and shaming aren’t going to be able to sustain their success in the long run because they have none of the talent or skill at producing costumes and slick videos about costumes like the ones they’re trying to take down.

Spend more time sewing and less time being shitty, people. That’s how you actually build a loyal following.

I have a friend who has been into historical costuming for a long time and knows some people who know these costubers. She says she isn’t surprised by this stuff especially now that there's money and fame involved.

My friends said she saw something about M&D wanting to jump on the drama with trying to get some of the big names cancelled. Which maybe what was going on with the whole Juneteenth thing. I guess it’s working because she’s now making enough $ on kofi to afford fancy dinners out with her hubby and a new car after her recent accident (which I don’t really think was timed to capitalize on all the Juneteenth drama, but it sure was convenient).

It definately seems like DSA Threads and M&D have similar goals and are working together.

I started following her after everything that was posted here, I never got the impression that she was wealthy .

I assumed they probably used car insurance to help buy a car and I might have missed something about fancy dinners but I haven't really seen anything about that either

I'm looking at the small influence she has and I just can't imagine this has changed her life.

Who is your friend? I'd love to follow more people.

[Justagoat]

(I'm still baffled by Sewstine's role in the whole thing. I don't think it was anything as nefarious as "okay, you go spy on these people and then blow up their spot afterwards, for me" but I still don't know why she did what she did.)

I wonder if it was like you were posting earlier and she just got that rush of being righteous? I agree it doesn’t seem to be nefarious because sewstine doesn’t really seem to be close with either the M&D group or the Abby one. Probably all for the best fir her give all the drama!

[teatime88]

Okay, so I went through the chat I had with my friend during the Secret Santa thing. She was pretty new to the server and didn't use names so I can't fully spill the tea here, but here's the gist of it.

People had been asking about Secret Santa so the organizer posted some guidelines about the event and how it would go. Then she left for vacation. Someone, who I'm now guessing was DSA Threads, asked if it had to be called Secret Santa because she was Jewish. Someone else said they were pagan and wouldn't mind if the name was changed. Some people tossed around name ideas and other people said they'd rather the event be called Secret Santa because it was what viewers expected and the algorithm already pushed those videos. Someone even said to call your video what you want, but pop Secret Santa at the end of the title or in the tags so Youtube pushes it. There was back and forth and the admins stepped in and asked that the conversation be paused until the organizer got back. People started accusing the admins of silencing them. It sounded like things got heated, especially after someone wrote a long post about the origin of Santa of how it wasn't originally a Christian symbol but a Pagan one. The organizer checked in while away, was very overwhelmed by the huge, angry text thread, and angry that everyone kept arguing after being asked to wait, and canceled the event because it had caused so much drama just after being announced. She and DSA Threads both left the server after that. It came out later that they're both autistic so that probably contributed to their reactions.

Later, when it came up again, it seemed part of the problem was that everyone thought it was a big community event like CoCoVid, but it was actually a more privately organized collaboration that everyone was invited to. So it was being treated as a "majority rules" thing instead of a "the person organizing this gets last say" thing. Plus, apparently Secret Santa is a big thing in whatever country the organizer was from so it was kinda like she was sharing part of her culture and everyone else tried to force her to change it. Of course, I only got my friend's POV so there might have been more, but that was a summary of what she was sending to me when it was happening.

Also, according to my friend, a lot of the people being the most vocal about vaguebooking about Secret Santa admitted during the "drive out the big channels" conversation that they weren't in the group during the actual Secret Santa debacle. They joined afterwards so they're only going off the word of a few people.

I trying to follow along. Secret Santa was cancelled because Jewish people wanted to be included but there were people wouldn't let that happen? Do you know who those people were?

I'm trying to find the link between that and certain people allegedly driving out the big channels.

I'm so confused because this all seems really fragmented.

I'm sorry, that was my fault. I told about two different things in reverse order.

The first Secret Santa debacle was at the end of last summer. To my knowledge, no one told anyone they could or couldn't do anything. They were just told multiple times to wait for the organizer to get back from vacation.

The bigger channels were driven out this past spring. Someone wanted to host a non-holiday gift exchange. Latina Living History said it should be a holiday one anyway despite everything that happened, even though the first person specifically said they didn't want it around the holidays and everything spiraled from there. When someone asked what had happened, there were two different sides to the story, one saying it was because of anti-semitic actions and the other saying it was because no one stopping the conversation because the organizer was away. But then the people in the second group were being told they were committing anti-semitic microaggressions by speaking over the first group, even though they were just trying to share their version of events like the first group was. After that it looked like there was a lot of talking on all sides and not much listening. A lot of people left the group. I'm sure there were people were actual bigots who didn't want to do anything to change, but I also think a lot of people were frustrated that they weren't allowed to speak out or question things without getting dogpiled on and think others were just afraid of being branded anti-semitic/racist because they interpreted an event differently.

Honestly, between Secret Santa, CoSy and this, it feels like a lot of their issues are when someone tries to take over someone else's event.

Either way, the second blow up was WAY worst than the first. The first lasted a day or two with two people leaving. The second lasted weeks and ended with a whole different set of people "in charge" and a bunch of people left.

[NearlyThere]

I trying to follow along. Secret Santa was cancelled because Jewish people wanted to be included but there were people wouldn't let that happen? Do you know who those people were?

I'm trying to find the link between that and certain people allegedly driving out the big channels.

I'm so confused because this all seems really fragmented.

I'm sorry, that was my fault. I told about two different things in reverse order.

The first Secret Santa debacle was at the end of last summer. To my knowledge, no one told anyone they could or couldn't do anything. They were just told multiple times to wait for the organizer to get back from vacation.

The bigger channels were driven out this past spring. Someone wanted to host a non-holiday gift exchange. Latina Living History said it should be a holiday one anyway despite everything that happened, even though the first person specifically said they didn't want it around the holidays and everything spiraled from there. When someone asked what had happened, there were two different sides to the story, one saying it was because of anti-semitic actions and the other saying it was because no one stopping the conversation because the organizer was away. But then the people in the second group were being told they were committing anti-semitic microaggressions by speaking over the first group, even though they were just trying to share their version of events like the first group was. After that it looked like there was a lot of talking on all sides and not much listening. A lot of people left the group. I'm sure there were people were actual bigots who didn't want to do anything to change, but I also think a lot of people were frustrated that they weren't allowed to speak out or question things without getting dogpiled on and think others were just afraid of being branded anti-semitic/racist because they interpreted an event differently.

Honestly, between Secret Santa, CoSy and this, it feels like a lot of their issues are when someone tries to take over someone else's event.

Either way, the second blow up was WAY worst than the first. The first lasted a day or two with two people leaving. The second lasted weeks and ended with a whole different set of people "in charge" and a bunch of people left.

Okay that makes more sense! Sorry I couldn't follow along. Do you know if any Jewish people felt like this was antisemitic?

[teatime88]

I'm sorry, that was my fault. I told about two different things in reverse order.

The first Secret Santa debacle was at the end of last summer. To my knowledge, no one told anyone they could or couldn't do anything. They were just told multiple times to wait for the organizer to get back from vacation.

The bigger channels were driven out this past spring. Someone wanted to host a non-holiday gift exchange. Latina Living History said it should be a holiday one anyway despite everything that happened, even though the first person specifically said they didn't want it around the holidays and everything spiraled from there. When someone asked what had happened, there were two different sides to the story, one saying it was because of anti-semitic actions and the other saying it was because no one stopping the conversation because the organizer was away. But then the people in the second group were being told they were committing anti-semitic microaggressions by speaking over the first group, even though they were just trying to share their version of events like the first group was. After that it looked like there was a lot of talking on all sides and not much listening. A lot of people left the group. I'm sure there were people were actual bigots who didn't want to do anything to change, but I also think a lot of people were frustrated that they weren't allowed to speak out or question things without getting dogpiled on and think others were just afraid of being branded anti-semitic/racist because they interpreted an event differently.

Honestly, between Secret Santa, CoSy and this, it feels like a lot of their issues are when someone tries to take over someone else's event.

Either way, the second blow up was WAY worst than the first. The first lasted a day or two with two people leaving. The second lasted weeks and ended with a whole different set of people "in charge" and a bunch of people left.

Okay that makes more sense! Sorry I couldn't follow along. Do you know if any Jewish people felt like this was antisemitic?

SnappyDragon definitely thought it was. I think there was one new person who was upset by everything, but it was based off of what everyone else was saying because she wasn't part of the group when the original blow up happened. There were at least two Jewish people who said they hadn't been offended or hurt by any of it. They were the ones who were told their opinion didn't really matter. There were non-Jewish people saying it was and non-Jewish people asking what part of what had happened was anti-semitic so they could recognize it and they were told to "google it." It felt just as split as everything else going on.

[NearlyThere]

Okay that makes more sense! Sorry I couldn't follow along. Do you know if any Jewish people felt like this was antisemitic?

SnappyDragon definitely thought it was. I think there was one new person who was upset by everything, but it was based off of what everyone else was saying because she wasn't part of the group when the original blow up happened. There were at least two Jewish people who said they hadn't been offended or hurt by any of it. They were the ones who were told their opinion didn't really matter. There were non-Jewish people saying it was and non-Jewish people asking what part of what had happened was anti-semitic so they could recognize it and they were told to "google it." It felt just as split as everything else going on.

Oh
I don't know why it couldn't be both. Why couldn't everyone's feelings be acknowledged? If a Jewish person said something was anti-semitism their point of view matters as much as Jewish people who didn't think anything was anti-semitic. It seems like people were asked to educate themselves.

In my eyes it seems like your friend framed this all from the side of the Jewish people who weren't offended but didn't think about those who were. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm sure people will disagree with how I'm interpreting the posts.

Did your friend stand up for the Jewish people who were hurt?

[teatime88]

SnappyDragon definitely thought it was. I think there was one new person who was upset by everything, but it was based off of what everyone else was saying because she wasn't part of the group when the original blow up happened. There were at least two Jewish people who said they hadn't been offended or hurt by any of it. They were the ones who were told their opinion didn't really matter. There were non-Jewish people saying it was and non-Jewish people asking what part of what had happened was anti-semitic so they could recognize it and they were told to "google it." It felt just as split as everything else going on.

Oh
I don't know why it couldn't be both. Why couldn't everyone's feelings be acknowledged? If a Jewish person said something was anti-semitism their point of view matters as much as Jewish people who didn't think anything was anti-semitic. It seems like people were asked to educate themselves.

In my eyes it seems like your friend framed this all from the side of the Jewish people who weren't offended but didn't think about those who were. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm sure people will disagree with how I'm interpreting the posts.

Did your friend stand up for the Jewish people who were hurt?

I don't know why it couldn't have been both either, but for some reason the voices of Jewish people who weren't offended mattered a lot less than the people who were. Their opinions were practically disregarded. People were trying to educate themselves but it felt more like they were expected to show up and just know everything. Even if they asked questions specific to the situation, they were told to google it.

I was told all of the first blow up live, but I did see some of what was going on during the second myself because I was visiting my friend at the time and ended up staying way later than I intended watching The Real Housewives of Costube, so she didn't frame anything. I will say that my memory is probably affected by their celebration afterwards. They were literally sharing Les Miserables barricade gifs and celebrating how they "overthrew the monarchy." It really undercut what any good that could have happened because it made everything seem like they were ultimately trying to run off the big channels and just using the hurt of a Jewish woman as a figurehead.

My friend stayed quiet and tried to learn. She didn't want to speak over the voices of marginalized people. There were people standing up though, and those are the people now in charge of the server. I don't want you to think it was a ton of people against two or three Jewish people. There were people on both sides and if people had just shut up and listened to each other without everyone being super defensive or on the offensive, things probably wouldn't have gotten as out of hand as it appeared to me. A lot of good points were being made on both sides in the beginning, but after a while it was less about education and more about being right or morally superior.

[herewego2]

SnappyDragon definitely thought it was. I think there was one new person who was upset by everything, but it was based off of what everyone else was saying because she wasn't part of the group when the original blow up happened. There were at least two Jewish people who said they hadn't been offended or hurt by any of it. They were the ones who were told their opinion didn't really matter. There were non-Jewish people saying it was and non-Jewish people asking what part of what had happened was anti-semitic so they could recognize it and they were told to "google it." It felt just as split as everything else going on.

Oh
I don't know why it couldn't be both. Why couldn't everyone's feelings be acknowledged? If a Jewish person said something was anti-semitism their point of view matters as much as Jewish people who didn't think anything was anti-semitic. It seems like people were asked to educate themselves.

In my eyes it seems like your friend framed this all from the side of the Jewish people who weren't offended but didn't think about those who were. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm sure people will disagree with how I'm interpreting the posts.

Did your friend stand up for the Jewish people who were hurt?

Actually, I thought they gave a surprisingly balanced report? They gave both sides of what Jewish members of the group were saying and both sides of non-Jewish members.

[NearlyThere]

Oh
I don't know why it couldn't be both. Why couldn't everyone's feelings be acknowledged? If a Jewish person said something was anti-semitism their point of view matters as much as Jewish people who didn't think anything was anti-semitic. It seems like people were asked to educate themselves.

In my eyes it seems like your friend framed this all from the side of the Jewish people who weren't offended but didn't think about those who were. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm sure people will disagree with how I'm interpreting the posts.

Did your friend stand up for the Jewish people who were hurt?

Actually, I thought they gave a surprisingly balanced report? They gave both sides of what Jewish members of the group were saying and both sides of non-Jewish members.

I can't deny it, I'm on a gossip website and I want all the details

[NastySkankBitch]

Has BB ever said anything social justice-y about CH? I got the impression that her only public statement on the matter was that they've parted ways and she can't say why because of "very serious legal reasons."

It was just "very serious reasons" nothing legal or even personal about it. But it was in the context of the Foundations Revealed finalists being mostly white and the poverty tier folks not getting a vote. There have been about a gazillion comments on BB's own social media accounts about CH and yet BB's only acknowledgement of the rift was in response to that.

Damn, I can't find BB's comment anywhere, but as far as I remember, she basically only said that she and CH are not friends anymore but that there are many good people working at Foundations Revealed and not to cancel the whole organization or something (correct me if I'm wrong though). I kinda feel the need to stand up for BB here, I think she handled their friend break-up pretty decently and with minimal public drama.

[unfinishedshuffle]

The bigger channels were driven out this past spring. Someone wanted to host a non-holiday gift exchange. Latina Living History said it should be a holiday one anyway despite everything that happened, even though the first person specifically said they didn't want it around the holidays and everything spiraled from there.

That's not how it happened.

1. The person that suggested the new non-holiday exchange wanted the video reveals to happen at the same time as CoSy, and a large number of people pushed back on that, because two major events taking place at the same time would be too stressful.

2. A comment was made by someone that it wouldn't be fair to start a new holiday/end-of-the-year gift exchange in case the first Secret Santa organizer decided she wanted to return to the group (a year after leaving) to run a Secret Santa 2021, and that space should be held for her, despite her apparently giving no indication at all that she either wanted to return or that she wanted to run a swap again.

3. After that, Latina Living History asked the moderation team if a discussion could be held about what had happened in regards to the cancelled Secret Santa 2020, because from the moment it was cancelled, anyone attempting to ask any questions about it were immediately silenced, including new members that hadn't been there when it happened and had no idea they were stepping onto a mine field simply by asking if it would happen. LLH wasn't trying to push the person that suggested the new swap into running it for the holiday, and from what I understand the new organizer was then planning to run the swap in early 2022 for a spring video reveal, before walking away from it completely.

[Justagoat]

The bigger channels were driven out this past spring. Someone wanted to host a non-holiday gift exchange. Latina Living History said it should be a holiday one anyway despite everything that happened, even though the first person specifically said they didn't want it around the holidays and everything spiraled from there.

That's not how it happened.

1. The person that suggested the new non-holiday exchange wanted the video reveals to happen at the same time as CoSy, and a large number of people pushed back on that, because two major events taking place at the same time would be too stressful.

2. A comment was made by someone that it wouldn't be fair to start a new holiday/end-of-the-year gift exchange in case the first Secret Santa organizer decided she wanted to return to the group (a year after leaving) to run a Secret Santa 2021, and that space should be held for her, despite her apparently giving no indication at all that she either wanted to return or that she wanted to run a swap again.

3. After that, Latina Living History asked the moderation team if a discussion could be held about what had happened in regards to the cancelled Secret Santa 2020, because from the moment it was cancelled, anyone attempting to ask any questions about it were immediately silenced, including new members that hadn't been there when it happened and had no idea they were stepping onto a mine field simply by asking if it would happen. LLH wasn't trying to push the person that suggested the new swap into running it for the holiday, and from what I understand the new organizer was then planning to run the swap in early 2022 for a spring video reveal, before walking away from it completely.

So I guess the mods said no about a discussion? What a mess. How many people were part of this whole thing? The costube world seems pretty small…

[teatime88]

That's not how it happened.

1. The person that suggested the new non-holiday exchange wanted the video reveals to happen at the same time as CoSy, and a large number of people pushed back on that, because two major events taking place at the same time would be too stressful.

2. A comment was made by someone that it wouldn't be fair to start a new holiday/end-of-the-year gift exchange in case the first Secret Santa organizer decided she wanted to return to the group (a year after leaving) to run a Secret Santa 2021, and that space should be held for her, despite her apparently giving no indication at all that she either wanted to return or that she wanted to run a swap again.

3. After that, Latina Living History asked the moderation team if a discussion could be held about what had happened in regards to the cancelled Secret Santa 2020, because from the moment it was cancelled, anyone attempting to ask any questions about it were immediately silenced, including new members that hadn't been there when it happened and had no idea they were stepping onto a mine field simply by asking if it would happen. LLH wasn't trying to push the person that suggested the new swap into running it for the holiday, and from what I understand the new organizer was then planning to run the swap in early 2022 for a spring video reveal, before walking away from it completely.

So I guess the mods said no about a discussion? What a mess. How many people were part of this whole thing? The costube world seems pretty small…

The admins originally asked for time to discuss the best course of action. LLH said she was making a Google Calendar alert for their decision. The next day, they opened a new channel which spawned two more by the time my friend was locked out.

People in the group said it started as around 20 people for the original Secret Santa but grew to around 200 people after CoCoVid.