It’s Way Past My Paycheck To Greet My Fans - Part 5

[coffelatte]

She keeps jumping to relationships after one ended, she just confirmed she is in a better one but I don't think her judgment was right after dumping Pete and maybe she should have waited before dating Oliver, I think that after two toxic relationships in a row instead of going into a new one she should have gone to therapy, no because there is something wrong with her but because she probably needed it because of how emotionally hurt she was.

I'm truly sorry she was in two toxic relationships in a row and maybe dealing with all than issues made her angrier and I understand, I really hope she gets the proper help to deal with them and not keep all inside of her.

[LylaJovana]

Signs of domestic violence and abuse
There are different kinds of abuse, but it's always about having power and control over you.

If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you might be in an abusive relationship.

Emotional abuse
Does your partner ever:

belittle you, or put you down?
blame you for the abuse or arguments?
deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
isolate you from your family and friends?
stop you going to college or work?
make unreasonable demands for your attention?
accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

Threats and intimidation
Does your partner ever:

threaten to hurt or kill you?
destroy things that belong to you?
stand over you, invade your personal space?
threaten to kill themselves or the children?
read your emails, texts or letters?
harass or follow you?
Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.
Does your partner ever:

slap, hit or punch you?
push or shove you?
bite or kick you?
burn you?
choke you or hold you down?
throw things?

Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they're male or female.

Does your partner ever:

touch you in a way you don't want to be touched?
make unwanted sexual demands?
hurt you during sex?
pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
pressure you to have sex?
If your partner has sex with you when you don't want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do?

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you.

A third of domestic violence and abuse against women starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse.

There are many things problematic with Carrie but I won't stand by and see anyone say it's not domestic violence/abuse just because he didn't physically hit her. It is abuse. Being aggressive and threatening is abuse. If anyone doesn't think it is, read above.
For anyone who reads any of this and recognises even one line, get help before it is too late. You might think it's petty and so many people still have the wrong mindset that unless you're physically beaten, then it's not violence - IT IS. Domestic violence is serious and can escalate quickly.

I know the majority here are gossiping about the way Carrie has handled this which I agree is probably not the best way she could've handled it but please don't negate what she is saying simply because it's not violent enough to be considered domestic abuse.

[hppc116]

Where did she post that statement? I actually do feel kind of sorry for pete. Obviously damaging things is not right and it can be scary but being compared to JD is not on the same level and doesn't help anyone. On another note, she finally confirmed that she is dating Oliver in that statement. I wonder if that relationship is actually healthier considering he didn't want her at first... Also, she said that she was now finally in a healthy relationship when she started dating pete after Alex day which tuned out to be wrong too.

[girasole1840]

I've been lurking for quite a while but now feel compelled to post. This is my take.
1. Carrie has been named in stunt-cast-gate and comments have not been kind.
2. Carrie has been pictured looking like a sweaty, bloated mess and comments have not been kind.
3. The comments regarding her accent, acting and lowered vocal arrangements have not been kind.
4. Instead of staying well away from Social media, she has actively looked for the above comments and has not always responded in a kind way herself.
Given her 'only kindness spoken here' schtick, she is now looking for a way to justify her own behaviour, which, in hindsight, she realises is often erratic and leaves her looking like a nasty piece of work.
Needing something to deflect from the Heathers comments and to justify her behaviour, she has thrown Pete under a bus (btw, if true, I'm not condoning his behaviour at all but nobody can tell me that her timing is coincidental).
'Personal reasons' is also a classic excuse for pulling out of a production when she realises she's out of her depth and the critics (which haven't surfaced before to the same extent) refuse to go away.

[getinmymachine]

Wow I didn't expect this at all. If Carrie reads here, and I'm sure she does, it must have been upsetting for her to see how much we were rooting for Pete the entire time. Although it's not like anyone could have known, since she specifically said in her break up announcement that NOTHING happened and they're such good friends etc. I feel a bit icky about how she's handling it though. She practically compared him to a character who murders a bunch of people?

[m11]

Signs of domestic violence and abuse
There are different kinds of abuse, but it's always about having power and control over you.

If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you might be in an abusive relationship.

Emotional abuse
Does your partner ever:

belittle you, or put you down?
blame you for the abuse or arguments?
deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
isolate you from your family and friends?
stop you going to college or work?
make unreasonable demands for your attention?
accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

Threats and intimidation
Does your partner ever:

threaten to hurt or kill you?
destroy things that belong to you?
stand over you, invade your personal space?
threaten to kill themselves or the children?
read your emails, texts or letters?
harass or follow you?
Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.
Does your partner ever:

slap, hit or punch you?
push or shove you?
bite or kick you?
burn you?
choke you or hold you down?
throw things?

Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they're male or female.

Does your partner ever:

touch you in a way you don't want to be touched?
make unwanted sexual demands?
hurt you during sex?
pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
pressure you to have sex?
If your partner has sex with you when you don't want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do?

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you.

A third of domestic violence and abuse against women starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse.

There are many things problematic with Carrie but I won't stand by and see anyone say it's not domestic violence/abuse just because he didn't physically hit her. It is abuse. Being aggressive and threatening is abuse. If anyone doesn't think it is, read above.
For anyone who reads any of this and recognises even one line, get help before it is too late. You might think it's petty and so many people still have the wrong mindset that unless you're physically beaten, then it's not violence - IT IS. Domestic violence is serious and can escalate quickly.

I know the majority here are gossiping about the way Carrie has handled this which I agree is probably not the best way she could've handled it but please don't negate what she is saying simply because it's not violent enough to be considered domestic abuse.

I want to clarify that when I said “JUST” breaking things, I didn’t mean it isn’t domestic abuse. I wanted to say that she is implying that he hit her which, while what happened IS DEFINITELY DOMESTIC ABUSE, IS TERRIFYING, AND WRONG, is not what happened. I again just think she is going about all of this in an unclear and inappropriate way, given the age and maturity level of her audience. But yes, intimidating, getting aggressive, and breaking things are domestic abuse.

[girasole1840]

I've been lurking for quite a while but now feel compelled to post. This is my take.
1. Carrie has been named in stunt-cast-gate and comments have not been kind.
2. Carrie has been pictured looking like a sweaty, bloated mess and comments have not been kind.
3. The comments regarding her accent, acting and lowered vocal arrangements have not been kind.
4. Instead of staying well away from Social media, she has actively looked for the above comments and has not always responded in a kind way herself.
Given her 'only kindness spoken here' schtick, she is now looking for a way to justify her own behaviour, which, in hindsight, she realises is often erratic and leaves her looking like a nasty piece of work.
Needing something to deflect from the Heathers comments and to justify her behaviour, she has thrown Pete under a bus (btw, if true, I'm not condoning his behaviour at all but nobody can tell me that her timing is coincidental).
'Personal reasons' is also a classic excuse for pulling out of a production when she realises she's out of her depth and the critics (which haven't surfaced before to the same extent) refuse to go away.

[Junko Enoshima]

I feel like comparing a harrowing experience of domestic abuse to a fictional villain kind of risks trivialising the abuse. Other than a few patterns of genuinely subtle abusive behaviour (his "I worship you/I'd trade my life for yours" promises in Our Love is God/I Am Damaged and the screaming followed by gentle begging in Meant To Be Yours), JD is a cartoon caricature of abusers. He is absolutely deranged and unhinged the entire time to the point that unless the audience is missing the point and romanticising him, comparing him to real abusive men makes them seem like blown up fictional exaggerations. Veronica doesn't fall in with JD because she's unaware that his behaviour is abusive, she likes him in the FIRST place because he is edgy and anti-Heathers in a way that appeals to her interest in lashing out at them.

The musical goes a lot further to attempt to humanise JD than the original film, sure, but he still is never really a realistic character- and if he was, the musical would make a lot more of an unsettling watch. Maybe Carrie sees something of her past relationships in Veronica and JD's relationship, but I think that comparison just makes it clearer that she doesn't understand who Veronica is. During Dead Girl Walking (Reprise), Veronica explicitly blames herself and takes responsibility for JD murdering the other students- he's the "monster SHE created"- and tries to commit suicide to save the other students. JD takes the bomb from her and kills himself instead out of a continued delusion that she loves him and that it is a romantic gesture to die for her.

[Guest]

We will never know what went on in that relationship. From what I saw in the vlogs it seemed like Carrie was very aggressive and nasty towards Pete. Always putting him down and talking down to him. But maybe that’s because he was aggressive like she says he is and he hid it better. From the sounds of it they were just too toxic together. Good that she got out when she did.

How she went about this is a little confusing. She should have made a video on its own talking about it, encouraging others to speak up. To just say it in a throw away comment will course nothing but gossip. She should address the issue and not use it as a reason as to why she knows how to play a character on stage. If she knew she was going to say that, why not use her experience to help others, to speak up.

[iammoonmoon]

We will never know what went on in that relationship. From what I saw in the vlogs it seemed like Carrie was very aggressive and nasty towards Pete. Always putting him down and talking down to him. But maybe that’s because he was aggressive like she says he is and he hid it better. From the sounds of it they were just too toxic together. Good that she got out when she did.

How she went about this is a little confusing. She should have made a video on its own talking about it, encouraging others to speak up. To just say it in a throw away comment will course nothing but gossip. She should address the issue and not use it as a reason as to why she knows how to play a character on stage. If she knew she was going to say that, why not use her experience to help others, to speak up.

Abusers are very good at hiding their abusive side from the public. I mean look at the men in Hollywood being accused of abuse (Chris Hardwick, James Franco, Casey Affleck, etc) and on YouTube (Alex Day, Toby Turner, etc). From a personal side, when I told my friends about what my abuser was doing, they said they “didn’t wanna take sides” because he was a friendly, charming guy, who drove them places and bought them alcohol.

While I may not agree with the way Carrie handled it, everyone deals with abuse differently.

[Razzmatazz]

It makes sense why she’s buying another house now though.
I hope she keeps this house and her own personal space and doesn’t let Oliver move in too quickly (although it looks like he already spends the majority of his time in her current flat).

I said on here a while back that she needs to stop including the current man in her life so much in her work and I’m saying it again now in light of all this stuff about Pete.

She has a published book which is basically a fan fiction of her and Pete, her new book looks to be a fan fiction about her and Oliver, Oliver is even signing on her album.

Break ups are hard enough without having reminders of your ex in all of your achievements that you should be proud of and happy to look back at instead of being bitter reminders of previous relationships.

[Guest]

We will never know what went on in that relationship. From what I saw in the vlogs it seemed like Carrie was very aggressive and nasty towards Pete. Always putting him down and talking down to him. But maybe that’s because he was aggressive like she says he is and he hid it better. From the sounds of it they were just too toxic together. Good that she got out when she did.

How she went about this is a little confusing. She should have made a video on its own talking about it, encouraging others to speak up. To just say it in a throw away comment will course nothing but gossip. She should address the issue and not use it as a reason as to why she knows how to play a character on stage. If she knew she was going to say that, why not use her experience to help others, to speak up.

Abusers are very good at hiding their abusive side from the public. I mean look at the men in Hollywood being accused of abuse (Chris Hardwick, James Franco, Casey Affleck, etc) and on YouTube (Alex Day, Toby Turner, etc). From a personal side, when I told my friends about what my abuser was doing, they said they “didn’t wanna take sides” because he was a friendly, charming guy, who drove them places and bought them alcohol.

While I may not agree with the way Carrie handled it, everyone deals with abuse differently.

I agree, it’s always the people you least suspect to be the type.

Your right everyone deals with asbuse differently but being such a public figure on social media, she should have thought a bit more about her wording. That’s just my opinion. It’s always a touchy topic to talk about.

[PlumeriaBahar]

We will never know what went on in that relationship. From what I saw in the vlogs it seemed like Carrie was very aggressive and nasty towards Pete. Always putting him down and talking down to him. But maybe that’s because he was aggressive like she says he is and he hid it better. From the sounds of it they were just too toxic together. Good that she got out when she did.

How she went about this is a little confusing. She should have made a video on its own talking about it, encouraging others to speak up. To just say it in a throw away comment will course nothing but gossip. She should address the issue and not use it as a reason as to why she knows how to play a character on stage. If she knew she was going to say that, why not use her experience to help others, to speak up.

Abusers are very good at hiding their abusive side from the public. I mean look at the men in Hollywood being accused of abuse (Chris Hardwick, James Franco, Casey Affleck, etc) and on YouTube (Alex Day, Toby Turner, etc). From a personal side, when I told my friends about what my abuser was doing, they said they “didn’t wanna take sides” because he was a friendly, charming guy, who drove them places and bought them alcohol.

While I may not agree with the way Carrie handled it, everyone deals with abuse differently.

I agree, it’s always the people you least suspect to be the type.

Your right everyone deals with asbuse differently but being such a public figure on social media, she should have thought a bit more about her wording. That’s just my opinion. It’s always a touchy topic to talk about.

Nah, not always. Abusers come in different colors and shapes.
But, I totally agree with you that the wording she used was plain awful.
AND it is a touchy topic indeed, and so we're not talking about her terrible performance :p
BTW, I wonder what is Pete thinking about all of these. There are three possibilities basically:
a) he's and awful abuser and he doesn't give a damn about all the things she's talking about
b) he's no abuser and his alleged abuse was more of a heated argument and he's really angry and disappointed
c) he acknowledges his abusive personality and looks for help. In this case, I feel immensely sorry for him.

[Guest]

"If Carrie has stated that the abuser was Pete, and that he is getting help to work through his issues, then ‘outing’ him to over 600k followers isn’t helpful to him and is actually probably more likely to set him back. I’m a massive fan of Carrie’s but I struggle with they way she has decided to make this information public"

This comment sums up the issue here. If he is getting help and trying to change his ways, outing him publicly is wrong.

She is right about EVERY THING ELSE. She is the victim and she has a right to say something, and we shouldn't doubt her or her claims.

[getinmymachine]

I just thought maybe this is why she didn't confirm she's dating Oliver? Because the last two times she had very public relationships it all went wrong? But it doesn't really make sense because she still ensured that all her fans would be shipping them. I do hope Oliver makes her happy, although he gives me a weird vibe, but whatever.

I wonder why she was so adamant that everything's peachy in her break up announcement. She could have easily said "we split up, please respect our privacy" but she went out of her way to explain that no abuse, cheating etc. happened.

[Guest]

I just thought maybe this is why she didn't confirm she's dating Oliver? Because the last two times she had very public relationships it all went wrong? But it doesn't really make sense because she still ensured that all her fans would be shipping them. I do hope Oliver makes her happy, although he gives me a weird vibe, but whatever.

I wonder why she was so adamant that everything's peachy in her break up announcement. She could have easily said "we split up, please respect our privacy" but she went out of her way to explain that no abuse, cheating etc. happened.

I can only talk from my experience, but my ex boyfriend was very manipulative and threatening. It all seemed normal at the time and we broke it off for other reasons. Then a year later I got with my wonderful new boyfriend and only then did I realise how toxic and wrong my previous relationship was. Sometimes you need time only to realise that what you are living is not normal and has a name (abuse)

[ifucsam]

I do hope Oliver makes her happy, although he gives me a weird vibe, but whatever.

His face gives me a serial killer vibe with his eyes and his weird mouth/smile. I’m not implying he is lol but he also creeps me out visually.


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[Einhorn_two]

It makes sense why she’s buying another house now though.
I hope she keeps this house and her own personal space and doesn’t let Oliver move in too quickly (although it looks like he already spends the majority of his time in her current flat).

I said on here a while back that she needs to stop including the current man in her life so much in her work and I’m saying it again now in light of all this stuff about Pete.

She has a published book which is basically a fan fiction of her and Pete, her new book looks to be a fan fiction about her and Oliver, Oliver is even signing on her album.

Break ups are hard enough without having reminders of your ex in all of your achievements that you should be proud of and happy to look back at instead of being bitter reminders of previous relationships.

Thank you so much. I always feel I'm the only one with that opinion. I also feel that often applies to her roles too, or especially Wednesday and Veronica. I often get the feeling that instead of portraying the character she takes them and suddenly adapts it into her personal life - so that I don't say Wednesday or Veronica but Carrie. I still feel sorry for her and everybody deserves love but I feel she would greatly benefit if she'd be single for a while and worked on processing her relationships.

[ninjaduen]

Well, the timing of this "statement" couldn't have been better; it's all we're talking about now.

However, as a person with a master in literature it baffles me how she has not learnt the value of true critique. It is a basic thing in an arts course, both how to give critique and to receive critique (criticism? English is not my first language), and the latter is definitely not easy. But in this line of work it is very much a part of the job and an important one as well. Otherwise, how would you ever improve? I think her "don't say anything negative"-speech confirms, that she is untrained on so many levels. Unfortunately, she is not the only person in the Heathers production who seems to shy away from criticism in any form: https://www.thestage.co.uk/opinion/2018 ... cs-review/
So we can expect her to be backed by the producers of the show in her efforts to stay in her magic fairy bubble where only positive comments are allowed (albeit ignored). A shame they participated in West End Live then...

[nym]

I just thought maybe this is why she didn't confirm she's dating Oliver? Because the last two times she had very public relationships it all went wrong? But it doesn't really make sense because she still ensured that all her fans would be shipping them. I do hope Oliver makes her happy, although he gives me a weird vibe, but whatever.

I wonder why she was so adamant that everything's peachy in her break up announcement. She could have easily said "we split up, please respect our privacy" but she went out of her way to explain that no abuse, cheating etc. happened.

Sometimes abuse victims feel responsible of said abuse, and she has been abused in two relationships in a row. She said in that comment that she's realising what was going on in her relationship with Pete just now, maybe back then she didn't identify what happened with emotional abuse (which it was, breaking your partner's stuff is a form of punishment, hence emotional abuse) and she's coming to terms with it just now. And maybe she felt like if people knew she had had two shitty relationships with hard break-ups in a row, people would asume it was her fault. I'm on her side here, she didn't deserve that treatment (no one does) no matter how patronising/mumsy she could be with Pete. And if she wants to use Veronica as a way to cope with her bad relationship experiences she's in her own right. I agree trying to become the character is not the best way to portray a character (and I still don't like her Veronica), but if it ends up being healing for her, at least it would have had a good result.

By the way, she said she has some new lines at the end of the video and then she proceeded to recite a few lines from the song, but the lines she said were already in the original version of the song, they're not new at all. Did she say those were the new lines or it was just an example of how the song goes? I don't know if I misheard there.