Ok so I am madly in love with my husband and we have fun doing other things, but when it comes to sex, I always put it off. that's not to say I can't pleasure him in other ways, and he with me as well. But actual real sex is not only painful but super uncomfortable for me. He's my first and i never had sex until marriage. Last year we only had sex once or twice, i know!
But he is happy with the "other" ways I can pleasure him. He's super patient. But i just hate having sex. I don't want kids. I hate getting sweaty lol.. and it also hurts it's not one bit pleasurable for me whatsoever. Am I missing something?
Also hope it's OK to post about this here?
Sex! I hate it. Why?
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
You're missing A LOT, imo. Although I can relate. I hated sex with my first husband, it was gross and pointless, plus he was really bad at it and didn't give one damn about pleasing me, in any area of our life together. It was all about him. I thought that's how sex was, all about the man's pleasure, despite my mom and my sisters telling me otherwise, lol.kathleenlightsssss wrote:Ok so I am madly in love with my husband and we have fun doing other things, but when it comes to sex, I always put it off. that's not to say I can't pleasure him in other ways, and he with me as well. But actual real sex is not only painful but super uncomfortable for me. He's my first and i never had sex until marriage. Last year we only had sex once or twice, i know!
But he is happy with the "other" ways I can pleasure him. He's super patient. But i just hate having sex. I don't want kids. I hate getting sweaty lol.. and it also hurts it's not one bit pleasurable for me whatsoever. Am I missing something?
Also hope it's OK to post about this here?
It wasn't until I met my second husband that I realized just how truly incredible sex is. You say your husband is patient with you and enjoys the pleasure you give him. How about allowing yourself to receive pleasure, too? A lot of men can be incredibly selfish in bed, but they can be taught, but first you have to know what pleases you, and if you never get to that point, well that's okay, too as long as he takes care of you in other ways. Marriages can survive without sex as long as there is love, friendship and mutual respect, but frankly, you're missing one of the most incredible experiences you can experience with someone you love.
Unless otherwise stated, my statements are solely my opinion and do not reflect the views of GG in any way.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Well the thing is being touched down there is my only pleasure. anything entering me is gross painful and super uncomfortable. is this a fear or condition?
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
I actually have the same issue with "things" entering. I tried tampons and it was the worst experience. Then I tried sex... four times actually, and it just didn't work. I am almost 100% sure I have vaiginismus. I don't really know what to do to help it and I'm not too concerned because I'm not in a relationship and I'm not sexually active but you should look into it and see what can be fixed.
But vaginismus is essentially an issue where your vagina involuntary closes up when anything tries to penetrate it. On Wikipedia there's a list of reasons why this may happen including religious views, low self-esteem, fear, etc. I figured it was because whenever I tried to have sex, I knew I'd be doing it with the wrong person. It's a blessing and a curse, for sure.
But vaginismus is essentially an issue where your vagina involuntary closes up when anything tries to penetrate it. On Wikipedia there's a list of reasons why this may happen including religious views, low self-esteem, fear, etc. I figured it was because whenever I tried to have sex, I knew I'd be doing it with the wrong person. It's a blessing and a curse, for sure.
Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
If it is uncomfortable, let alone painful, please see a competent gynecologist about it. That's not normal and it shouldn't be ignored if something is wrong with your vagina to the point where it can't even be penetrated. This post worries me a bit
Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
^ That is the correct answer. Go see a gyno about it.
From the thread title, I thought you meant you didn't enjoy sex at all which could be explained through a lot of things, like maybe you're asexual or you have past trauma, etc. etc. But if it's just a physical aspect you don't enjoy then there's definitely something that should be looked at by a professional.
From the thread title, I thought you meant you didn't enjoy sex at all which could be explained through a lot of things, like maybe you're asexual or you have past trauma, etc. etc. But if it's just a physical aspect you don't enjoy then there's definitely something that should be looked at by a professional.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Well the thing is my fear is in the way i believe. i also don't enjoy it at all, nothing pleasurable about it for me. I always make him pleasure me in a different way first (so I can enjoy pain free pleasure) and that makes it a little bit easier for him to enter- but honestly the entire time I am waiting for it to be over. I hate it!TheFosterKid wrote:I actually have the same issue with "things" entering. I tried tampons and it was the worst experience. Then I tried sex... four times actually, and it just didn't work. I am almost 100% sure I have vaiginismus. I don't really know what to do to help it and I'm not too concerned because I'm not in a relationship and I'm not sexually active but you should look into it and see what can be fixed.
But vaginismus is essentially an issue where your vagina involuntary closes up when anything tries to penetrate it. On Wikipedia there's a list of reasons why this may happen including religious views, low self-esteem, fear, etc. I figured it was because whenever I tried to have sex, I knew I'd be doing it with the wrong person. It's a blessing and a curse, for sure.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
It's really common don't worry too much,
Go to the doctor, it could be something like a tilted cervix (apparently 30% of women have this). At least then you know why you feel the way you do.
Good luck
Go to the doctor, it could be something like a tilted cervix (apparently 30% of women have this). At least then you know why you feel the way you do.
Good luck
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Thanks yes when i visited the doctor a year ago she told me to relax nothing was wrong?RestingBitch wrote:It's really common don't worry too much,
Go to the doctor, it could be something like a tilted cervix (apparently 30% of women have this). At least then you know why you feel the way you do.
Good luck
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Were you ever really sexually active prior to getting married?kathleenlightsssss wrote:It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
Personally I find that the longer you wait between interactions, the "tighter" and more painful it would be - at least that's how it is for me. If my fiance and I aren't active for 1-2 months...there's a difference, but once you naturally become more...wet...then it's easier and much more enjoyable.
Sorry for the TMI, I didn't know how else to explain it hahaha
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Apparently it's in my head. my doctor told me to relax and drink some wine and get lube. it worked. thank youUghhAsIf wrote:Were you ever really sexually active prior to getting married?kathleenlightsssss wrote:It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
Personally I find that the longer you wait between interactions, the "tighter" and more painful it would be - at least that's how it is for me. If my fiance and I aren't active for 1-2 months...there's a difference, but once you naturally become more...wet...then it's easier and much more enjoyable.
Sorry for the TMI, I didn't know how else to explain it hahaha
Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
I had a similar problem, but we couldn't go through it and got divorced. My ex-husband wasn't ready to take it.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
tbh if I were passionate by sex and meet the partner like you - I've decided to break, cuz the problems further will obtain the harder consequences
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
I found the solution. i get turned on first and then it's sooo much better that and some cbd oils
Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
Only you can answer this question. You probably haven't met a good person yet and you haven't fallen in love.
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Re: Sex! I hate it. Why?
When I got married, sex was so painful for me (I was a virgin) but with foreplay and a loft of lubrication it became more enjoyable and less painful.