You're missing A LOT, imo. Although I can relate. I hated sex with my first husband, it was gross and pointless, plus he was really bad at it and didn't give one damn about pleasing me, in any area of our life together. It was all about him. I thought that's how sex was, all about the man's pleasure, despite my mom and my sisters telling me otherwise, lol.kathleenlightsssss wrote:Ok so I am madly in love with my husband and we have fun doing other things, but when it comes to sex, I always put it off. that's not to say I can't pleasure him in other ways, and he with me as well. But actual real sex is not only painful but super uncomfortable for me. He's my first and i never had sex until marriage. Last year we only had sex once or twice, i know!
But he is happy with the "other" ways I can pleasure him. He's super patient. But i just hate having sex. I don't want kids. I hate getting sweaty lol.. and it also hurts it's not one bit pleasurable for me whatsoever. Am I missing something?
Also hope it's OK to post about this here?
Well the thing is my fear is in the way i believe. i also don't enjoy it at all, nothing pleasurable about it for me. I always make him pleasure me in a different way first (so I can enjoy pain free pleasure) and that makes it a little bit easier for him to enter- but honestly the entire time I am waiting for it to be over. I hate it!TheFosterKid wrote:I actually have the same issue with "things" entering. I tried tampons and it was the worst experience. Then I tried sex... four times actually, and it just didn't work. I am almost 100% sure I have vaiginismus. I don't really know what to do to help it and I'm not too concerned because I'm not in a relationship and I'm not sexually active but you should look into it and see what can be fixed.
But vaginismus is essentially an issue where your vagina involuntary closes up when anything tries to penetrate it. On Wikipedia there's a list of reasons why this may happen including religious views, low self-esteem, fear, etc. I figured it was because whenever I tried to have sex, I knew I'd be doing it with the wrong person. It's a blessing and a curse, for sure.
Thanks yes when i visited the doctor a year ago she told me to relax nothing was wrong?RestingBitch wrote:It's really common don't worry too much,
Go to the doctor, it could be something like a tilted cervix (apparently 30% of women have this). At least then you know why you feel the way you do.
Good luck
It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
Were you ever really sexually active prior to getting married?kathleenlightsssss wrote:It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
Apparently it's in my head. my doctor told me to relax and drink some wine and get lube. it worked. thank youUghhAsIf wrote:Were you ever really sexually active prior to getting married?kathleenlightsssss wrote:It's ok well to be honest there have been times where the penetration part was fast and smoother- but there was more lube involved, without it, feels like a knifeLayla0606 wrote:how many times did u guys actually try penetration?
you don't have to actually answer, but I just wanna say the first 4-5 times I've had sex it hurt quite badly, it gradually became better and better. I also tought something was wrong with me, but then after these few times it was all ok.
Personally I find that the longer you wait between interactions, the "tighter" and more painful it would be - at least that's how it is for me. If my fiance and I aren't active for 1-2 months...there's a difference, but once you naturally become more...wet...then it's easier and much more enjoyable.
Sorry for the TMI, I didn't know how else to explain it hahaha
