Beckien0: Beckie J Frown (part 4)

[myther]

If only she could realise that her victim mentality is the source of much of the pain and anxiety she experiences when interacting with others: Expecting only negative intentions from others as to be constantly fearful and defensive. Being mired in learned helplessness and self-abasement. Believing that everyone else is more fortunate. Relying on empathy.

These characteristics inform the social behaviours which so many people find off-putting: irrationally accusing others of attacking her, responding disproportionally to perceived slights, villifying others, redirecting attention to herselfportraying herself as beyond help, rejecting help and advice

[bucky]

That "hair damage" video pissed me off. I have SEVERE Psoriasis and the huge Psoriasis clusters on my scalp have caused me to lose almost all my hair. She WILLINGLY (I do know its a disorder) tears hers out and then once she is better and its growing back has the gall to say "It looks terrible and isn't growing back right, see this tiny patch that looks kinda, just a little thin? Do you see it?"......

My hair is so bad that you can see it just by glancing at me, so pardon me that Im not sympathetic to you pulling your hair in different lighting trying to get people to see what you are talking about. If you need special lighting and expensive zoom to get people to remotely see what the heck you are talking about then no Beckie, it isn't bad.

My hair and bald patches are so bad (not including all the visible psoriasis plaques all over my head) that you see it IMMEDIATELY. It just makes me so mad. I would give anything to have half the hair she has........

Hey, fellow Psoriasis sufferer!

Anywho, I bolded what's very important. At this point the 'permenand damage' seems to be in, not on, her head.

[Thassarian]

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If you didn't want it to be exploited Rebecca, then why did you place adds on the video about her death?

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Is this not exploiting her death for financial gain?

[kofi]

I just got to say something. beckie is right when she says that you shouldn't be against someone to this point when he is going to therapy willingly.
I know it's hard with all she is posting and I know someone will come with the sort of a story of: " i have 23 conditions and i behave better than beckie " high five to you. but we don't know what condition beckie have and what role it plays in her behavior. you should cut her some slack so she could actually be mentally ready to work on her problems in the time being.

The thing is, mental illnesses explain certain behaviors but they sure as hell don't excuse them. There's a line between being against someone and calling someone out on their toxic shit.

[myther]

She WILLINGLY (I do know its a disorder) tears hers out ...

Trich is an impulse control disorder. Suffers do not willingly pull their hair. Some even pull unconsciously or in their sleep.

At this point the 'permenand damage' seems to be in, not on, her head.

This statement is mocking her disorder.

[Cosima Niehaus]

Interesting that one of the first things she did on the day she "lost a child" was checking this forum! And as another poster said, there's a glaring lack of empathy for Phoebe's suffering, or that of the remaining cats. "Me, me, me," as usual.

I might be wrong but I think she's bullshitting about the vet. Most vet clinics here have emergency vets exclusively for late nights or weekends, especially when euthanasia is necessary. Yes, it would have cost more, but Beckie blew several thousand pounds on jewellery and cosmetics without any issue so she could have easily afforded to pay an emergency vet. My cat was euthanised late on a Sunday night, in my home (practically in the middle of nowhere), and there was no issue finding a vet who would drive out and do it. Aside from the extra cost, it was no different from a weekday.

[bucky]

At this point the 'permenand damage' seems to be in, not on, her head.

This statement is mocking her disorder.

Whoops, I apologise After I posted that, I realized that it came out wrong, but I can't edit the post for some reason :/ I didn't realize that the saying 'it's all in your head' isn't that great within this context...
What I meant to say, it's psychological - like, she's intensely focused on the permanent damage. She's zoomed in, to say. Anything less then perfect is bad and terrible.

[myther]

If only she could realise that her victim mentality is the source of much of the pain and anxiety she experiences when interacting with others: Expecting only negative intentions from others so as to be constantly fearful and defensive. Being mired in learned helplessness and self-abasement. Believing that everyone else is more fortunate. Being pervasively pessimistic. Relying on empathy for comfort.

These characteristics inform the social behaviours which so many people find off-putting or toxic: Irrationally accusing others of attacking her. Responding disproportionally to perceived slights. Villifying others. Redirecting attention to herself. Portraying herself as beyond help. Rejecting help and advice. Refusing to take responsibility. Soliciting empathy.

The thing is, mental illnesses explain certain behaviors but they sure as hell don't excuse them. There's a line between being against someone and calling someone out on their toxic shit.

While not per se a mental disorder or illness, victim mentality (an acquired maladaptive personality trait) dictates how she perceives reality. No amount of calling her out will spur her to change or even recognise her problematic behaviour. To the contrary, by virtue of her victim mentality, calling her out reinforces her perception that she is being attacked.

[lowrezsunrise]

The thing is, mental illnesses explain certain behaviors but they sure as hell don't excuse them. There's a line between being against someone and calling someone out on their toxic shit.

I strongly agree with this. I think its a statement that's sometimes lost when talking about mental health, or lost when surrounding mental health awareness. And I can excuse that to a point, sometimes the focus needs to be wholly positive.
However its so bloody important to remember - and I really cant say it any better than Kofi has, so please re-read their quote!

[HippoFriend]

We get that she has a mental illness. We call her out on toxic shit. She still has to change her behaviour because she is hurting other people.

[myther]

If a person with a mental illness or maladaptive personality trait(s) lacks insight, they are unable to recognise that their behaviour is inappropriate or damaging.

[myther]

At this point the 'permenand damage' seems to be in, not on, her head.

This statement is mocking her disorder.

What I meant to say, it's psychological - like, she's intensely focused on the permanent damage. She's zoomed in, to say. Anything less then perfect is bad and terrible.

She does tend to ignore the gains she has made in growing her hair since her pulling was at its worst.

Permanent damage resulting from trich is very real. Some hairs break off at the scalp when pulled. Others are pulled to include the bulb which can damage the follicle depending on the stage of growth when the hair is pulled. With prolonged and repeated pulling, follicles can be destroyed completely. Growth in areas of such follicular damage will be sparse, and the texture of the individual hairs which do grow is often altered. Many sufferers are triggered to pull hairs with a deviant texture; thus they continue to pull from these damaged areas in a vicious cycle.

[myther]

She has deleted / disabled comments on her last two IG posts about Phoebe's death.

[manymeows]

I still have NO idea how her family have lost so many cats... it's unreal to me? I mean cats can go through a lot of different things and have to be put down. Shit happens. But for all the cats that have run away or whatever, I just don't get how she'd had that many that have. Very unlucky :/

[overtherainbow1]

I just got to say something. beckie is right when she says that you shouldn't be against someone to this point when he is going to therapy willingly.
I know it's hard with all she is posting and I know someone will come with the sort of a story of: " i have 23 conditions and i behave better than beckie " high five to you. but we don't know what condition beckie have and what role it plays in her behavior. you should cut her some slack so she could actually be mentally ready to work on her problems in the time being.

The thing is, mental illnesses explain certain behaviors but they sure as hell don't excuse them. There's a line between being against someone and calling someone out on their toxic shit.

yes it does, that's what's wrong with this thread.
if someone mental health doesn't excuse what that disorder causes how can you call it a disorder?
what do you think mental illness mean in the first place?
there is a reason mental illness gets people out of jail sometimes. because it's an "excuse" for the crime they did
and you're both against and calling out beckie. you can do both at the same time, calling someone out doesn't mean you're not against him.

[mmkaypbandj]

"and you're both against and calling out beckie. you can do both at the same time, calling someone out doesn't mean you're not against him."

overtherainbow1
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Well, I don't drink, but I'm wondering if someone has been having her "spot of cooking sherry" early.
Cuz those last two, yes, complete sentences small a and all, don't make sense to me at all,

You know, I think it's obvious that reading our wee gossip column is incredibly distressing to Beckie. It's obvious that she enjoys arguing, and being the superior, and last commenter.

I'm quite serious when I say that we would be doing her a huge favor if we could get the administrators here to help her by blocking her ISP.

I almost went to suggest it on her twitter, but I don't like my feelings hurt when I am trying to help someone. I use to enjoy talking to this girl years ago on the internet.

Most of the internet places she visits are quite nice to her, we're one of the very few that ever point out the both hurtful to others and herself behavior.

Last, or almost, all she had to do was tell the internet her little girl had died. Instead she leads off with, "I know you guys won't treat my cat's death as if it was a baby", while the rest of us are scratching our head and going, "Huh?"

And, Myther, God bless, you do have a lot to say, which is good, cuz a lot of it is really good. A lot of you girls are totally "on point" here. (Sorry).
Self-abasement if\s the word I've been trying to think of.
A long time ago, when I first began talk, with my fingers, of course, to this then very young girl, she would do the very same thing. Revealing more and more of her hair loss daily. It was kind of terrifying to see a girl with 3 to 3 and a half inches of hair, show the progressively stranger outline of her hair. I'm sure most of you have seen the pictures.
I had every sympathy, I had had trich, earlier in life, so you know, I tried to help. But Beckie seemed to need to show us.
Now, in my opinion, she is not only afraid of losing her important place in the trich (well, to her), she is TERRIFIED OF LOSING HER LIVELIHOOD.
And, I can't blame her, because it's coming. She really needs tio find a job.
One last thing? Really, and then I'll shut up--
If at her age, 24, she can afford to buy a house, anytime soon, she had enough money to pay for an emergency doctor.
But she wanted her patient parents to do it, don't you think? "Cause, the house money is, you know, the HOUSE money.P.S. OK, i lied one more, when I was her age, I had been moved out since I was 18, and living in the house with a husband.

[mmkaypbandj]

Oh, and Beckie You can set all the wildfires you like,
And, yes, I'm pretty sure I know who exactly who you are in the recent comments here.
Unlike most of the people here II used to read her blobs, and talk to her = typed on keyboard, on the internet, and I kind of know her style.
I'm serious, girl, you need to stop coming here. You are making yourself sick, just like you did with the Facebook group. You are making your world harder than it needs to be.

You're a beautiful girl, who lives in a lovely house (in her parents' neighborhood, houses are going for about 350,000 POUNDS, and theirs was recently re-modeled, so would go for probably more). Locked up in a cage of her own making.

So for the sake of your (future?) sanity;
1) MOVE OUT (for your parents sanity)
and
2) STOP COMING HERE!!! for your own sanity.

Well, good luck, and fare-thee-well, toots. I want to say also that I grieve the loss of your little girl with you. She had the sweetest face on a cat that I have ever seen, well, except for my cats.

[overtherainbow1]

"and you're both against and calling out beckie. you can do both at the same time, calling someone out doesn't mean you're not against him."

overtherainbow1
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Well, I don't drink, but I'm wondering if someone has been having her "spot of cooking sherry" early.
Cuz those last two, yes, complete sentences small a and all, don't make sense to me at all,.

I meant that whenever someone says" " stop attacking someone " people respond saying that: " we're not attacking him. we're just calling out his bs. "
and they do that WHILE attacking that person.
attacking someone and calling out his bs aren't opposite behaviors.

And, yes, I'm pretty sure I know who exactly who you are in the recent comments here.

if you're implying that i'm beckie I would advice you not to just to conclusions too fast

[Bloopy5]

I still have NO idea how her family have lost so many cats... it's unreal to me? I mean cats can go through a lot of different things and have to be put down. Shit happens. But for all the cats that have run away or whatever, I just don't get how she'd had that many that have. Very unlucky :/

Yes! Exactly. You'd think she would learn from the first two not to let her cats roam free. It's proven that cats live more if they stay indoors. Maybe she can let them out from time to time but keep an eye on them. Btw I'm really sad that Phoebe passed and I dont blame her death on Beckie, but I do think she has too many cats to afford/take care of. Stick to at least three and take good care of them! Smh.

[Bloopy5]

Also, (sorry for double post) I cannot for the life of me understand how her parents let her hoard all those stuff at their home. My mom would've thrown that shit out a long time ago. She's waaaay to old to be acting this immature