FWB(friends with Benefits)

[AngelPrincess]

How do you guys feel about Friends with benefits? I personally wouldn't do it but I don't judge people who do. I recently got into an argument with my friend about it. she started a fwb relationship and she says that its so much better than a partner relationship because its drama free. I don't believe its drama free at all. I do think it can sometimes be easier than an actual relationship but drama free? You can't have sex with someone you know without growing some type of feeling for them(at least that's what I believe.) especially if your friends, there's already chemistry between you two. I feel like in those type of relationships someone is going to get hurt because they want more than just sex. (especially with them because their always stealing kisses and hugging each other like any other annoying couple.) Plus there's always the chance of pregnancy and STDs, is that not considered drama? So to me it can be easier because you're not tied down to the person but there is no way in hell friends with benefits is drama free.

[well wait idk]

Its something thats definitely not for everyone. I don't think I could do it because I would eventually form an emotional attachments.

I can do one night stands but to just keep hooking up..I'd end up getting hurt.

[peetharolls]

I couldn't do the friends with benefits thing. Eventually, feelings would form. I don't judge people either who do it, whatever floats your root beer.

[usernamexhere]

Been there, done that. It didn't end well so I didn't bother going there again. I don't judge anyone who chooses to go that route (more power to you if you can keep drama and feelings out of it), but for me it was just easier to stay celibate until I met someone who was actually worth and wanted a relationship. Surprisingly enough, the next person who wanted that is now my husband.

[Diorette]

I don't think I could do it, I develop feelings for people way too easily so I would probably end up hurt.

[Angie V]

I'd do it if given the opportunity.

[caomei]

I wouldn't do it because that kind of physical intimacy is special to me and I want to reserve it for someone who I really care about. I'm not interested in sleeping with someone unless I feel that connection so it really isn't possible for me.

I don't judge anyone who chooses to do it.

[whoawhoawhoa]

for me it would depend on the particular "benefactor", haha.

if it were the type of friend that i found more physically attractive than interesting, than YES i would try it out. in this case i wouldn't mind NOT having that serious type of relationship with them.

for a serious relationship, my partner would have to stimulate my personality and intellect, as well as my hoo-hah.

i think it's really nice when people can pull it off. sex is healthy! and if you're thing is to find a non-committal partner to share this type of physical release with, kudos!

[TallButShort]

People can say this works, but in the end, it doesn't. Eventually real feelings with get in the way of "the perfect relationship". It doesn't have to be just intimate feelings. As humans, we are naturally jealous people. I feel like usually there's an underlying issue that people that get into FWB. There is something missing from themselves. Usually it's a shield that they don't want to let people in or get hurt.

Personally, I think it's one of the stupidest things you could do. If you don't want to be in relationship with the person, why on earth would you jeopardize having a child with them??? People can say all they want that FWB is amazing, but it's so much better when you actually have a connection with that person.

[sleep84]

I think that sometimes people use friends with benefits when they mean sex buddies. Which I think are two slightly different things. I think that ironically enough, when you want less drama and less rules, to be able to make it work, you need more rules and more guidelines.
Which is not actually what people usually do when they just start casually sleeping with each other.

Sometimes people don't mean the same things. Is it monogamous or not. Were we friends before or not. If so, how can you be freinds (hence you like and respect the person and you like hanging out with them) with physical attraction and not considering it "dating" but FWB? What constitutes a relationship to you?
What's the major difference for you, between any sort of FWB or sex buddies AND a legitimate full-blown relationship?

How to act with friends? With families? With the social group? Are we hanging out as well (movies, out for food, etc...) or just sleeping together?
Those are the boundaries that usually need to be set. But as we can see, it's worse than Jeopardy! for something that would mean LESS commitment.

I think it can work, absolutely. Whether it's FWB or sex buddies. It depends on a couple of main factors, though.
If you don't want a relationship, is it the wrong moment (is it you?) or is it the wrong person (is it him/her)?

Like, it's the timing that for you is not right (I can totally relate to that, if you are going through some personal stuff, if you're not ready for a relationship, if you're scared of serious things, if you want to have fun, if you have a troubled background...) or you just want to have sex with the first non-repugnant person of the gender you like, who walks by? (It sounds rude!) NO judgment at all!

I think I would do it, if I got the right chance (NOT with anyone of my friends that I already know now, though! eugh.. )

Mostly I think I could handle it, because I'm the one who's not in the right place for a relationship at the moment.

And to be honest, there are some of those couple-y things that I will always have a VERY hard time dealing with.
Going on holiday together, meeting the parents (there's nothing for you to meet here, and I don't want to meet yours), meeting the friends (mine are mine, yours are yours), compromising when it comes to things we like to do in our spare time --- I hate going out to dinner at a restaurant, for example. It's a waste of money for me (I'm broke as hell and they are overpriced), I feel like people do it more to let themselves be seen, than to actually eat something particular. If you're a vegetarian/vegan it's always a pain in the butt, here. You always feel like the one who causes troubles..

[NotAZombie]

Provided it is done without any string attached completely and with safety measures, fwb is workable for some people. In fact if it is done in the way it intended to, it does save a hell lot of drama compared to actual couples, who are emotionally attached and expect something from each other, and yet still enjoy the pleasure of sex without the need to commit to each other. To some it is a win-win situation.

The problem is most people will always have certain emotional string attach with their sexual partner, and that it is hard to reveal and explain this past to your potential future spouse. I believe most people won't be not happy to know their bf/gf used to have a fwb.

[Evolve]

I've posted about it before, but my boyfriend and I were friends with benefits for years before we got together for real. I think in the very very very beginning it was drama free - and it always was on the surface because in reality I was just letting myself be walked over because I didn't know what would happen if I stood up for myself. Like he would say to come over and then fall asleep before I got there or he would say we would spend the weekend together - I mean as friends...with benefits - and then totally forget and make plans with someone else. And that's not stuff I would tolerate from friends who I'm not sleeping with so I don't know why I tolerated it from him. So there was that. But on the flip side - as a couple we fight. We fight and we can't walk away. We're always having to talk about feelings and stuff. The sex isn't as exciting because it's expected and routine rather than random and like..urgent.

[pandaaa]

i just dont understand how some people view people who can have sex without all the feelings attached as "powerful"... like he or she is "above all that". i just dont. if u can do it, u can do it. idk why some people think that it is "cool" to be able to do so.

[yudodis]

One of my close friends was in FWB relationship twice... With boys that were bestfriends... While dating to her boyfriend who was in military at that time...

I am not against FWB, as I respect everyones choices, but I cannot understand it much. It could be me, just being a romantic person, but I cannot imagine getting that close with someone not very close...

[Bambam]

I think it depends really. I was in a FWB relationship and the guy ended up getting more involved emotionally than I was and I felt really bad for him. The situation was that he was moving ioverseas n a few months for 5 years so we weren't trying to be anything serious and agreed a FWB situation would be best. Turns out it wasn't and things got a bit sticky. Lucky he got over it and we are still friends now, conveniently 5 years later when he happens to be moving back to the country! Don't think I'd ever go there again though.

We didn't fight at all, but we knew we did not have much time together and a getting into a relationship did not seem like the right thing to do. I had done long distance before and hated it.

[bnx18]

i've done it before with this guy and it wasn't anything too serious. we hooked up every now and then. and we also hung out as friends. we don't really talk now but that's a different story. i think if you're going to do it you shouldn't do it with someone you have even the slightest feelings for, because you don't want to end up hurt. i think it's fun though, the whole no strings attached thing. but it isn't for everyone.

[incognito]

I am kind of in this situation right now, I think it's going okay. I was dating a guy for a few months and then he moved halfway across the country so we decided to just be friends. We didn't talk for awhile because I was kind of upset about it at first, but after awhile we started talking again. We were still attracted to each other, so we started to visit each other and hook up every now and then. I really like hanging out with him as a friend, and he's also hot, but I know that he would never really be able to make me happy in a relationship, so I think this is a pretty good arrangement? I have to admit that for some reason I'd be jealous if I found out he started dating someone, but he lives nowhere near me so I think I'd get over it pretty quick.

[krandr0205]

There's a guy at my school, in my grad. class, who is the biggest asshole. But he is by far one of the most physically attractive people at our school. I would say now that I wouldn't mind hooking up with him, but I might feel differently if the situation ever came up. Saying that I would have sex with him might make me a "slut", but I'm a virgin so...I wouldn't say I am lol

[Evolve]

You can hook up with someone without that being your friend with benefits! I just say that because it doesn't sound like you want to be friends with that guy....It's okay to find someone physically attractive and want to bone them. It's like...human nature.

[Evolve]

i just dont understand how some people view people who can have sex without all the feelings attached as "powerful"... like he or she is "above all that". i just dont. if u can do it, u can do it. idk why some people think that it is "cool" to be able to do so.

It just depends on the individual. For certain people who let relationships define them - I can totally see how just having the physical without all the relationship parts would make them feel powerful. Or maybe you've never felt in control of your sexuality and being able to say "this is what I want right now" makes you feel empowered.

For me I've never had a problem with those things and have struggled with thinking someone actually really likes me and wants to be committed to me and enjoys just spending time with me and talking to me so I feel empowered in a relationship right now. But everyone's different and in different points in their life.