welcome back to another weekly episode of watching Our Lady of Corndogs!
This weeks episode is called "My Workout Routine" and the thumbnail has a couple of awkward photos, one of her trying to take a selfie in the mirror at the gym to prove she was there, the other is her squashing a gym ball with her weight, its being pushed to its limit as she does the worlds weakest situp...well, I can only assume as its a pic.
She greets us in a really strange way for the intro.....it shows the camera already on inside her car and her hopping in, having just returned from the dermatologist. There's no camera man, theres no other person with her. She has literally turned the camera on in the car, gotten out again, then pretended for us that she was just arriving. Its fuckin weird.
She tells us that she is angelic as she buckles up for the drive home and keeps repeating the word OKRE. I google it, sorry it is OCHRE, and its a poo brown colour, you know the yellowy brown that a baby would shit? She keeps saying that word. I think back to my day and wonder if I was slipped some acid cos I be tripping my balls off right now!
Shes wearing the worlds biggest pair of oversized sunglasses and I get the impression on a regular head they would look comical. They just make her head look bigger than ever.
She tells us that the dermatologist keeps getting her to piss in cups and that she's not very good at pissing in a cup. This leaves me with the mental image of her struggling to hold Fupa up with one arm, legs spread and trying to get a cup between her tree trunk thighs. It must be awkward as hell to piss in a cup when you have a body type like Alex.
Corndogs complains about how hard life is at the moment having broken a nail and that its a priority this week to get it fixed, because she isnt capable of clipping her own nails, she needs to exploit a poor asian girl to inhale her fingernail dust. First World problems at their finest today folks!
She confesses that shes been to the doctors straight from the gym and sweated her box off all over their lovely chairs. Shes fucking hungry and needs to eat, shes happy she brought along a yoghurt drink. I get the feeling this girl doesnt know you should drink water after the gym.
She claims the broken nail drama and going to the dermatologist is real life and adulthood. Fuck me, kill me now!
She is seeing Mark tonight. His fiance has been keeping him locked at home because she hates Alex pretending he's her husband. Alex has had to spend two weeks slumming it as a single woman and shes hated it.
Still sitting in the car park in her sweaty gym clothes, she continues to whinge about her broken fucking nail. Boo fucking hoo. She puts some petrol in her car then she cuts to another clip of her talking about her broken fucking nail AGAIN!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
We cut to her at home and Alex has been playing with her makeup for the first time, she has red blush smeared all down the side of her face, giving neither a look of contouring or of rosey cheeks. I applied a better face last night shitfaced at 2am! To show she has eyes, because they are being eaten by her cheeks, she has put on some drag queen false lashes, she literally looks like a made-up potato.
Shes got fuck all to talk about so tells us that she took a shower and did some work while eye-fucking the shit out of herself in the view finder of the camera. Alex sings for us and shoves the camera up her nose.
Cut to Mark at her place and we find out the real reason he has been invited over.
Alex has been telling the WORLD for weeks how she doesnt need a man, hates men, is all empowered and basking in her self-love and independence yet she needs a man to open a box for her and set up her Mac computer. Alex is sitting on her fat ass while Mark does all the work standing up, yet she is the one thats out of breath....shes panting. They both get overly excited together about the computer and before we get to see anymore of Mark, Corndogs has decided to cut to the next morning!
Alex tells us that shes been up shitting on the toilet all night after eating too much chinese food and she still doesnt feel well.
She starts masterbating with the mouse on her new computer and then wipes her hands all over her face, making sure to pick her nose. She shows us her stationary on her desk......I'm fucking BORED AS FUCK!
She shows us all her decor in the lounge and I find it hard to be enthusiastic for her, and I love home decor!! Sadly I know all this stuff will be thrown in the bin when she has another mood swing and I roll my eyes at her spending.
Aaaaaand its the next day again! Shes in the kitchen she never uses except for when shes sponsored by Hello Fresh and her hair is greasy as hell after the gym. She talks about work and what she wants to film and I couldnt give a fuck, then says she is going out to eat in the evening. This girls life revolves around shopping for cheap shit and eating out. I'm so bored!!!!
Shes showered and sitting in her office talking about filming again.....its up there with the broken nail chat, repetitive and irrelevant. Shes caked on her makeup as usual and is wearing her trademark FUCKING RIDICULOUS EARRINGS!
Corndogs has had some makeup delivered and wants to talk to us about it. I'm falling asleep so I skip through this part.
Shes back in her unused kitchen again sweating all over EVERYTHING! It must be the next day again and shes telling us shes been to the gym again. She has a gym in her apartment complex which is nice to know and I kind of want to be happy for her but I'm still baffled as to why she is so huge if she works out this often!
She talks about filming AGAIN and I want to bang my head on the nearest wall! I'm remembering why I stopped doing these now!
She opens another package and shows us whats in it, its a pillow that she can cuddle in place of a man. She wants us to believe that shes now an expert on all things mental health.
Shes showered and in a lift going to see Pixie. Shes hungry and cant wait to eat. NEXT!!!
Oh wait, she doesnt even let me fast forward through it! She cuts to the next day again!! No Pixie for us I guess!
Oh, shes going to get FOOD again. Shes in a drive thru and shes waiting to place her order and is then off to see a Psychiatrist. Shes panting in the fucking drive-thru as she tells us shes been on medication for 3 weeks....got a while to go yet before they start to work!
and cut to being back at home! fuck her life is boring!!!
being the uneducated bafoon that she is she tells us there is a stigma around mental health. Alot of idiots say this and they are using the term mental health wrongly. mental health is just the health of your mental wellbeing. Mental illness is the term people should be using. Corndogs thinks shes now an advocate for mental illness, despite her poor insight and untreated illness. My advice here, focus on you, do you, but shut the fuck up on giving advice while you are being treated. You cannot give advice when you dont know what the fuck you are talking about. But some awareness is better than none and maybe she can help someone to make up for all the damage she has caused to others.
Shes in the gym finally, alone, and wants to film her being there! Already her angles are not like the selfies she was taking for us. She walks for a minute then decides instead of working out to do a silly pose and talk about her clothes. FUUUUUCK!! I dont care!!!
FINALLY with 2 minutes left on the video she shows us the workout routine the title of the video said this would be about!! I want to knock her but hey, its actually a pretty impressive workout and a little bit inspiring! I wish she would do more videos that focused on just this. She looks like she is hating the exercise though, her face looks miserable and pained.
she cuts to being at home curling her hair and honestly I'm done.
All in all, it was a bullshit video, total clickbait that was boring for the WHOLE VIDEO except for 1 minute (if that) of her exercising.
Thats some time of my life I am never getting back.
Happy you're exercising but still, fuck you Alex.
