Jealously driving me insane

[Fitfinatic]

So, about this time last year I started to hang around with the best group of girls, I love all of them.. well expect one. Lets call her Sarah, she's beautiful but my jealously is forcing me to hate her. See, a while back I had a sneaky look at my boyfriends group chat (bad mistake, I know) one of his pals said something inappropriate about her like "id f**k her" and my boyfriend agreed. Like any girl would, I went crazy. Now any other girl would get over knowing he was just being a 'guy' with his friends but I cant let it go (this was half a year ago) it angers me so much and now I hate the girl. Shes so annoyingly perfect and I feel like crap. Shes rich, she fashionable and pretty. Hes told me over and over that he loves me and I dont compare, which I do believe obviously we have been together 2 years but I cant shake that comment he made. What makes it worse she is a flirty girl not just to my boyfriend but every boy and it drives me up the wall. Since shes apart of the group shes always there and it makes me want to cry any advice?

[MurkyandLurky]

I know it's easier said than done, but do not be jealous of her. You're doing yourself an injustice by comparing yourself to her. You are you, you are beautiful in your own way. Just trust that he loves you and don't let it eat you alive, cus it will. And to be fair, I'm not trying to be horrible, but it doesn't take much to make men sexually attracted to a woman. They literally like any kind of woman, no matter what. Whether she's a 10 in looks or a 2, an attractive woman is an attractive woman, no matter how fashionable and all those "cool" traits they may have. Best of luck to you dear, keep your head up xx

[xosophia]

If your boyfriend wanted to be with anyone but you, he would do just that. He clearly loves you for who you are! That is all that matters. As for comparing yourself to others, it's simply destructive. Nobody is perfect, no matter how gorgeous or rich she might seem - she is possibly jealous of someone else, it could maybe even be you!

The only advice I have is to make peace with it and let it go. Trust your boyfriend and tell him what's on your mind, and if you feel up to it, talk to her as well and tell her how you feel - it doesn't have to be super serious. Another piece of advice is to avoid looking at your boyfriend's phone again - it's not cool in terms of trust, and could really hurt his feelings. Most importantly be yourself and love yourself - you have a great group of friends and someone who loves you lots! Don't let it get you down. Hope this helped x

[skeptic_gal]

I totally understand being upset about that situation and I think your bf should understand that since he said he finds her attractive he shouldn't be hanging with her alone even as a friend.

That being said I can say as someone who gets close to guys pretty easily on a friend level and hears all their girl talk men have a VERY low fuckable threshold (like murkyandlurkey was saying) and there is also alot of pressure to agree that a particular girl is attractive. You really kill the mood and offend your guy buddy if he says he digs a chic and you say "naw she's not that hot".

Another thing to keep in mind is it's human nature that once you feel your man finds another woman attractive you will start to feel intimidated and threatened by her even if there is not much objective reason to feel that way. Chances are if your bf was not in the equation and you really got to know her, you'd see all her faults and shitty aspects of her life more clearly and you would see her as not much better or worse as most other randos walking around.

Also the fact that you were looking at your bf's chats sounds like you were already feeling some lack of trust in the relationship (whether justified or paranoid I don't know enough to say ) and this finding must have felt like it confirmed all your fears.

As always feel free to DM me!

[Nicole89]

you must fight your jealous in any way u can, this feeling makes us weak and unhappy. Just imagine how much stronger u could be without this?

[cocossecret]

i think almost anyone would be jealous in your shoes. if i found out and saw with my own eyes that my bf want to f someone..idk how id keep it together. you're only human and most humans have deep and complex emotions. at least you have a big heart and truly love your bf or you wouldn't care at all.

probably your bf was just going along with the guy chat to sort of fit in. I even do this with my gf's and i really don't mean it at all, i just sort of want to fit it when they talk about hot guys or whatever..but i really love my husband and joke and say things too that i don't mean.

you are beautiful and you should focus on your own postive qualities. what is beautiful about you, inside and out. its hard to be young and everyone is beautiful when they are young. I'm glad I'm older now sometimes bc there is less to be jealous about, since a lot of ppl let themselves go and look bad when they're older...but when your younger and they're looking for a mate, everyone is attractive and flirty ect..
i was so jealous when i was younger and so many girls wanted my bf..it goes away i think when ur older but for now its hard.

just enjoy being together, focus on your good points, focus on yourself and what makes u happy. don't waste an ounce energy and your precious life and time focusing on someone else. don't give her your precious time..try and ignore your feelings for her and if you can, try and think something good of her but maybe ur instincts are telling you something about her and maybe ur right.so keep your boundaries...but don't hate her bc thats not good for your or your relationship at all. that will destroy ur relationship. you have to be strong and force yourself to focus on the good qualities in u and ur bf and life...i mediate and that helps so much. you can mediate for 15 min everyday, just sit and think you are loved, beautiful ect...it really works =)

[Perfectbxtch]

1. Your boyfriend wants to fuck her. I'd be mad too. And now that you know, he knows you're jealous, probably wants to fuvk her more. Even his own girlfriend can see she's hot!!


So step one is to stop mentioning her and when you see her, befriend her. Make it hard for him to insert himself mentally because YALL ARE FRIENDS


2. Obviously there are things about yourself that you feel can't compete with her. Either improve yourself or find another guy who only wants to fuck you.