PrettyPregnantInUtah(LikeJen) Part75

[MattressCrowSoapJar]

In case any of you are trying to decide on a gift to send to the PO Box of Greed, I've found the perfect thing. And it's a coloring book, which we know Jen loves:

http://www.amazon.com/Unicorns-Are-Jerk ... floss0a-20

[MattressCrowSoapJar]

My suggestion for the new thread title:

IFeelFertilizationLikeJen

[loopyloo]

I am tempted to send her that jar of unicorn meat in your avatar as I saw an unboxing of one on YT and the unicorn came in little bits! It was like a fluffy unicorn horror film!

[MattressCrowSoapJar]

I am tempted to send her that jar of unicorn meat in your avatar as I saw an unboxing of one on YT and the unicorn came in little bits! It was like a fluffy unicorn horror film!

I considered this, too, but since she seems to think the unicorn IS the baby, she'd probably report it to the police as a "threat."

[I Couldn't Resist]

It's embarrassing knowing Jen better than she knows herself. She said she isn't familiar with Mineral Fusion. I sternly thought, "Yes, you are! You have two polishes. At least!" Then she acknowledged that she may have some MF polishes, and I nodded.

I'm a fangirl.

I've had those moments.

She actually said "impulse purchase" again.

I know! And I actually got a shout-out in at least one pregnancy update video! Too bad it probably won't last past the pregnancy.

[zalfiephan9]

I am tempted to send her that jar of unicorn meat in your avatar as I saw an unboxing of one on YT and the unicorn came in little bits! It was like a fluffy unicorn horror film!

I considered this, too, but since she seems to think the unicorn IS the baby, she'd probably report it to the police as a "threat."

I really would love to read that police report... Don would be drunk sitting next to her and Jen would be sobbing holding the freaking unicorn while Winnie scrapes against the front door.

[loopyloo]

I am tempted to send her that jar of unicorn meat in your avatar as I saw an unboxing of one on YT and the unicorn came in little bits! It was like a fluffy unicorn horror film!

I considered this, too, but since she seems to think the unicorn IS the baby, she'd probably report it to the police as a "threat."

I really would love to read that police report... Don would be drunk sitting next to her and Jen would be sobbing holding the freaking unicorn while Winnie scrapes against the front door.

Winnie would be praying for opposable thumbs so she could write a SOS note to send to Aunt Julie.

[Noelle]

And the WIR post would look something like:

Although I am dismayed that certain persons have chosen to threaten a facsimile of my wee one and reflect poorly upon themselves, a trip to the trusty police station did afford me yet another opportunity to utilize my Cuyana tote, which I invested in early this year, knowing that meetings and such would pop up. Kismet! She performed beautifully. This baby (unlike the not-boy in my tummy) did not disappoint! Our local law enforcement agency also has a rather nice water bubbler and chairs with padded armrests!

[zalfiephan9]

Ok so we now know how Jen and the Unicorn can piss off both the ER and the police. All that is left is the fire department, Whole Foods, and the Container Store!

[Noelle]

Fire department: The unicorn bursts into flames because it is made of illegal Chinese filler materials.

Whole Foods: The unicorn gets sick and throws up glitter all over the aisles while shopping with Mommy.

The Container Store: The unicorn inspires all of the other pregnant upper-middle class suburban housewives to leave and spend $22 on their own unicorns, thus cutting down on sales for the day by 82%.

[OrganizedLisa]

LOVE these!

RockStarUterusLikeJen

IFeelFertilizationLikeJen

But I still prefer

PregnantWithUnicornLikeJen

(It's like Dances with Wolves, which is Utah style!)

[zalfiephan9]

Fire department: The unicorn bursts into flames because it is made of illegal Chinese filler materials.

Whole Foods: The unicorn gets sick and throws up glitter all over the aisles while shopping with Mommy.

The Container Store: The unicorn inspires all of the other pregnant upper-middle class suburban housewives to leave and spend $22 on their own unicorns, thus cutting down on sales for the day by 82%.

I swear the Unicorn is becoming annoyingly more interesting than Jen, just like Winnie already was...

The unicorn needs to be part of the next title!

[DipDipDipMyBlueShip]

Horny&CornyLikeJen? (Not sexual!)

[Noelle]

InUtahroLikeJen. A sort-of tribute to Nirvana.

[FLOSSY77]

Noelle every damn one is perfect. I actually read them out loud and even my husband laughed. That says a lot. He doesn't really get this GG stuff.

[OrganizedLisa]

Meanwhile, in Utah...

prettyneatliving: Family snack time, as we do

You'll never guess what they're having! Oh wait, maybe you will...

#redundantlife

[Noelle]

Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Flossy Flossy! Jen gives good material.

So she is now using "as we do". How very G. I picture her adopting Ice Cube's voice, perhaps with a water pistol cocked to the side for full effect. Guac and dollah bills, fool. As we DO. And then Don can make it rain as the whole family rolls around in used $1s.

[FLOSSY77]

Makin' it rain in Utah. That's wuz up friends
She posted on snap a bunch of meat in a frying pan. "Lookin' good. Smokin' meat"

[FLOSSY77]

I forgot.
"Yum yum yum. Here that sizzle"
For shizzle Jen?

[zalfiephan9]

Did Jen discover gangster rap?