The Schuerman Show Part 52 ~ Pink Glitter and Sugar Sprinkle

Post by **Nolagirl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:43 am

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Post by **Indygrl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:49 am

Indilwen wrote:I would love to see Phoenix and Lily dressed like normal little kids with nice, neat haircuts. No more oversized tutus, no more snow boots on the beach, no more spaghetti hair. Phoenix needs some little outfits with shorts and matching tshirts, while Lily would look cute in some rompers or little sundresses that don't drag the ground.

Sam and Jay just need to burn their wardrobes and start all over. All of them. Sam should ditch the pinks and other pastel colors, especially if she wants to keep the pink hair. Neutrals would look so much better and wouldn't clash with her hair and her orange tan so much. She needs a few pairs of cute, cropped skinny jeans and maybe some nice tailored shorts. She's too short and curvy for the flowing long tops, too. Some fitted blouses and basic tshirts would suit her better. She also needs to stop wearing the teiks for her every day shoes and get some cute sandals or sturdier flats. Jay needs to never wear those tight tshirts that show off his moobs. Loose fitting polo shirts or button downs with some decent looking jeans or khaki shorts is what he needs. The entire family is in desperate need of a makeover!

God, yes! To all of it!

It amazes me how horribly Sam dresses her family. And the whole damn clan has tragic hair. Lily with her tangled and matted flighty fairy hair, Phoenix with his dirty unbrushed mop, and Sam with that fried, overly-processed Hubba Bubba pink hair. And, Jay, well, he's just hideous all around. I can't think of anything that would help him. You just can't fix ignorant and lazy with a new haircut and wardrobe.

Post by **DeviliciousDrew** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:52 am

Nolagirl wrote:

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That tutu could fit a 7 year old and nice cardigan for a 78 degree day!

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Post by **Indygrl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:55 am

Nolagirl wrote:

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Why? Why does she put a cardigan over every fucking dress that child wears?? And then buttons it! Seriously? Is it because the dress is too big on her and it hangs so low in the front it exposes her little breasts? Then buy a size or two smaller you stupid fucking moron!

Ugh, sorry for all the profanity today but I'm in a foul mood and this stupid bitch just sent me over the edge. Her stupidity just pisses me off and today I'm clearly not in the mood for her.

Ugh! And again with those fucking snow boots!

Post by **Nolagirl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:01 am

Indygrl wrote:
Nolagirl wrote:

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Why? Why does she put a cardigan over every fucking dress that child wears?? And then buttons it! Seriously? Is it because the dress is too big on her and it hangs so low in the front it exposes her little breasts? Then buy a size or two smaller you stupid fucking moron!

Ugh, sorry for all the profanity today but I'm in a foul mood and this stupid bitch just sent me over the edge. Her stupidity just pisses me off and today I'm clearly not in the mood for her.

Ugh! And again with those fucking snow boots!

I totally get & understand exactly what you wrote above!!! I'm so sick of seeing Lily in these oversized dresses, long sleeves or in this case, a cardigan when it's summertime!!! And X with those boots!?!?! Just no!!!! No!!! I can't stand the way she dresses her children! They aren't cute to me to begin with, and dressed the way they are isn't cute either. Half the time Lily looks ridiculous in these outfits she wears?!?!?

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Post by **Indilwen** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:04 am

Indygrl wrote:
Indilwen wrote:I would love to see Phoenix and Lily dressed like normal little kids with nice, neat haircuts. No more oversized tutus, no more snow boots on the beach, no more spaghetti hair. Phoenix needs some little outfits with shorts and matching tshirts, while Lily would look cute in some rompers or little sundresses that don't drag the ground.

Sam and Jay just need to burn their wardrobes and start all over. All of them. Sam should ditch the pinks and other pastel colors, especially if she wants to keep the pink hair. Neutrals would look so much better and wouldn't clash with her hair and her orange tan so much. She needs a few pairs of cute, cropped skinny jeans and maybe some nice tailored shorts. She's too short and curvy for the flowing long tops, too. Some fitted blouses and basic tshirts would suit her better. She also needs to stop wearing the teiks for her every day shoes and get some cute sandals or sturdier flats. Jay needs to never wear those tight tshirts that show off his moobs. Loose fitting polo shirts or button downs with some decent looking jeans or khaki shorts is what he needs. The entire family is in desperate need of a makeover!
God, yes! To all of it!

It amazes me how horribly Sam dresses her family. And the whole damn clan has tragic hair. Lily with her tangled and matted flighty fairy hair, Phoenix with his dirty unbrushed mop, and Sam with that fried, overly-processed Hubba Bubba pink hair. And, Jay, well, he's just hideous all around. I can't think of anything that would help him. You just can't fix ignorant and lazy with a new haircut and wardrobe.

Nope, you're right. Can't fix ignorant and lazy. But if they cleaned up and spiffied up they wouldn't be quite as hard on the eyes...haha. I think their hair issues all boil down to Sam...she won't let anyone else touch their hair because she used to work in a salon and she thinks she knows better than anyone how to do hair. Well...she's wrong. She can't even do her own hair, let alone anyone else's. I don't like Jay, but I will admit when he was going to a stylist and getting his hair professionally done, I did think he looked a smidge better. I usually like Sam's hair after she goes to someone else...but she always has to try and tweak it herself and she ends up ruining it. Or she leaves the salon with the foils still in her hair and tries to finish the job herself...and ends up looking like a total disaster. Phoenix looks like he might actually have really nice hair if it was cared for properly. It seems thick and looks like it has a lot of body. But the way it is now it's just shapeless and looks like it's rarely ever brushed. Lily has thin wispy hair, but that doesn't mean she has to look so bedraggled. In the hands of someone who knows what they are doing, her hair could probably look pretty cute!

Getting back to Jobless Jay. What would really look good on him is a uniform or some sort of WORK clothes...Hahahaha!

Post by **Indygrl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:08 am

Nolagirl wrote:
Indygrl wrote:
Nolagirl wrote:

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Why? Why does she put a cardigan over every fucking dress that child wears?? And then buttons it! Seriously? Is it because the dress is too big on her and it hangs so low in the front it exposes her little breasts? Then buy a size or two smaller you stupid fucking moron!

Ugh, sorry for all the profanity today but I'm in a foul mood and this stupid bitch just sent me over the edge. Her stupidity just pisses me off and today I'm clearly not in the mood for her.

Ugh! And again with those fucking snow boots!
I totally get & understand exactly what you wrote above!!! I'm so sick of seeing Lily in these oversized dresses, long sleeves or in this case, a cardigan when it's summertime!!! And X with those boots!?!?! Just no!!!! No!!! I can't stand the way she dresses her children! They aren't cute to me to begin with, and dressed the way they are isn't cute either. Half the time Lily looks ridiculous in these outfits she wears?!?!?

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No, they're not cute children, in looks or personality, and their mother isn't helping them any by dressing them like this. WTF is wrong with her?

Post by **Nolagirl** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:10 am

Indygrl wrote:
Nolagirl wrote:
Indygrl wrote:
Nolagirl wrote:

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Why? Why does she put a cardigan over every fucking dress that child wears?? And then buttons it! Seriously? Is it because the dress is too big on her and it hangs so low in the front it exposes her little breasts? Then buy a size or two smaller you stupid fucking moron!

Ugh, sorry for all the profanity today but I'm in a foul mood and this stupid bitch just sent me over the edge. Her stupidity just pisses me off and today I'm clearly not in the mood for her.

Ugh! And again with those fucking snow boots!
I totally get & understand exactly what you wrote above!!! I'm so sick of seeing Lily in these oversized dresses, long sleeves or in this case, a cardigan when it's summertime!!! And X with those boots!?!?! Just no!!!! No!!! I can't stand the way she dresses her children! They aren't cute to me to begin with, and dressed the way they are isn't cute either. Half the time Lily looks ridiculous in these outfits she wears?!?!?

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No, they're not cute children, in looks or personality, and their mother isn't helping them any by dressing them like this. WTF is wrong with her?

Glad someone else agrees with me on then not being cute children. Definitely NOT cute personality wise for sure!!!

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Post by **GossipMare** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:27 am

I don't understand why they dress those two kids like they do or why they style their hair like they do either.

I'm assuming she thinks Pheonix's hair is cute because of the curls, but it's rarely curly anymore. It's too long and weighing them down. Give the kid a cute hair cut that can showcase the curls and not be all in his face. Something like this picture would be cute on him.

Then dress the kid in some cute clothes. Carters, Oshkosh, Gymboree, and HM have some of the cutest clothes for boys. They're practical, cheap, and comfortable for them.

Lily needs a proper haircut too. She'd be so cute in a little bob. I don't know if Sam is just trying to let her hair grow out long, but it's too thin to really have a long hair style. Plus the ends are so frizzed looking. She needs some leave in conditioner for it.

I mean even Target has the cutest kid's clothes. It's like they pick the trashiest looking things to throw on them. Those kids seriously look like they're straight out of the Goodwill.

I also don't get why they don't keep a spray bottle handy for when the kids wake up. I spray my kids hair and style it before we go out or if they've just woken up. She's a hairdresser... I mean really. Take some pride in your kid's appearances.

Those kids could be cute. They're not models, but damn... they could be 10 times cuter than they are. They could also be bright decent children with great personalities, it's their shit parents that are keeping them from it. I love Lily and she's honestly the only reason I've continued watching.

Post by **michelle** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:58 am

GossipMare wrote:I don't understand why they dress those two kids like they do or why they style their hair like they do either.

I'm assuming she thinks Pheonix's hair is cute because of the curls, but it's rarely curly anymore. It's too long and weighing them down. Give the kid a cute hair cut that can showcase the curls and not be all in his face. Something like this picture would be cute on him.

Then dress the kid in some cute clothes. Carters, Oshkosh, Gymboree, and HM have some of the cutest clothes for boys. They're practical, cheap, and comfortable for them.

Lily needs a proper haircut too. She'd be so cute in a little bob. I don't know if Sam is just trying to let her hair grow out long, but it's too thin to really have a long hair style. Plus the ends are so frizzed looking. She needs some leave in conditioner for it.

I mean even Target has the cutest kid's clothes. It's like they pick the trashiest looking things to throw on them. Those kids seriously look like they're straight out of the Goodwill.

I also don't get why they don't keep a spray bottle handy for when the kids wake up. I spray my kids hair and style it before we go out or if they've just woken up. She's a hairdresser... I mean really. Take some pride in your kid's appearances.

Those kids could be cute. They're not models, but damn... they could be 10 times cuter than they are. They could also be bright decent children with great personalities, it's their shit parents that are keeping them from it. I love Lily and she's honestly the only reason I've continued watching.

I love your post. But, the highlighted is especially inexcusable when Sham routinely gets giftcards to spend at Target! She always buys more garbage decor to stuff into their tiny rental and cleaning supplies. I don't know why she'd want her kids to go around looking like charity cases.

Post by **glowstar** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:02 pm

This is the style of clothing most kids wear. Easy to mix and match, easy to dress/undress themselves, easy to play in. There's a pic on IG that makes me ragey. Sam and the kids on a hike, Sam is in a tank top with a sweater around her waist because it was too HOT. Next to her are the kids, both in pants and long sleeves! If you're hot so are the kids! This is how those children should be dressed in JUNE:

Post by **michelle** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:11 pm

Nolagirl wrote:
Glad someone else agrees with me on then not being cute children. Definitely NOT cute personality wise for sure!!!

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I almost consider myself Captain of the "I don't find either child appealing aesthetically or in personality" ship. Which is personally strange for me because I normally love children.

Post by **glowstar** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:17 pm

GossipMare wrote:I don't understand why they dress those two kids like they do or why they style their hair like they do either.

I'm assuming she thinks Pheonix's hair is cute because of the curls, but it's rarely curly anymore. It's too long and weighing them down. Give the kid a cute hair cut that can showcase the curls and not be all in his face. Something like this picture would be cute on him.

Then dress the kid in some cute clothes. Carters, Oshkosh, Gymboree, and HM have some of the cutest clothes for boys. They're practical, cheap, and comfortable for them.

Lily needs a proper haircut too. She'd be so cute in a little bob. I don't know if Sam is just trying to let her hair grow out long, but it's too thin to really have a long hair style. Plus the ends are so frizzed looking. She needs some leave in conditioner for it.

I mean even Target has the cutest kid's clothes. It's like they pick the trashiest looking things to throw on them. Those kids seriously look like they're straight out of the Goodwill.

I also don't get why they don't keep a spray bottle handy for when the kids wake up. I spray my kids hair and style it before we go out or if they've just woken up. She's a hairdresser... I mean really. Take some pride in your kid's appearances.

Those kids could be cute. They're not models, but damn... they could be 10 times cuter than they are. They could also be bright decent children with great personalities, it's their shit parents that are keeping them from it. I love Lily and she's honestly the only reason I've continued watching.

I really hope Scam & Ham take notes when they lurk here.

On an IG day Lilly will have her hair combed, every other day she's sporting a rat's nest on her head. There are vlogs where her hair looks matted and thick with grease FFS. That's actual neglect. Perhaps Princess doesn't need his hair washed as frequently, but again these are individual little human beings. They have individual needs.

I have a feeling most of the kids' clothes are freebies, hence the weird sizing. P's clothes look too small and L's are definitely way too big. She's usually quick to do a haul when they actually buy things and I haven't seen one in awhile.

In that picture someone shared above they look especially ridiculous. Phoenix's outfit looks like PJs and Lilly looks like she's going to a formal wedding. It's instances like this where Sam really demonstrates how clueless she is when it comes to fashion/beauty. No, they don't need matching outfits but a little cohesion would look a lot better coming from a self-proclaimed beauty guru.

Post by **DeviliciousDrew** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:40 pm

IKEA vlog and presents from England.
If you don't want to gag over nasty chewing sounds I wouldn't watch the first 8 minutes. Just fyi.
All of the "presents"

Sam testing out a new background... Not sure if she likes it. Can't tell until she sees it in white.

All loaded up can't wait to see all of that in their tiny house!

The kids look thrilled!

And finally daddy pig and a huge smoothie... Again.

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Post by **DeviliciousDrew** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:41 pm

I just noticed p's Taco Bell cup! Didn't they recently say they don't know why p asked for Taco Bell because they never go there!

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Post by **Knightchaser27** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:59 pm

I am curious where Sam packed her clothes both suitcases were pretty full with junk food and presents.

Post by **Auryn** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:02 pm

Did anybody else noticed they changed their pijamas? What the heck, Phoenix was wearing a short summery ones

and Lily's were lighter as well

and then they both came down with different pijamas

Felt pijamas! It's almost summer!

That poor child must be boiling inside.
At first I thought Lily could have had an accident since she is/was potty training but I don't know why, this gave me the feeling like the videos were in two different days

Post by **DeviliciousDrew** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:19 pm

Good catch!

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Post by **Desert Wind** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:26 pm

Nolagirl wrote:

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PHOENIX IS NOT A TODDLER, YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

That mickey shirt is cute. Why not some easy, pull on play shorts to go with? And poor Lily. All of that dress and a cardi? Really?

Phoenix desperately needs a hair cut. He doesn't have curly hair. His hair just looks like a fucking mess. And Lily has very thin, fine hair. Put it in cute little ponytails or cut it. Making her run around with that pathetic floss all messy is almost cruel.

Post by **Desert Wind** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:48 pm

Today's vlog was a clusterfuck of stupid.

Kids getting pressies and more pressies and MORE FUCKING PRESSIES. Eating English food. Smacking and talking with mouths full and gross rudness abounds.

Too much screeching, baby talking, do you love it's and Jobless and his mouth and face and boobs. (His clackers are no longer moobs. Bitch is sporting full on tits.) Needless to say, I watched and FF through fifteen minutes in about 30 seconds. Weird getting pressie ritual, covering the face and holding out the hands as if begging. Too fucking weird.

Tip to IKEA!!!! Kids climbing all over everything, Phoenix leaving toys in the middle of the isle and demanding to go look at more. Greedy little shit. Didn't he just get half of fucking England as a mommy's home gift?

Sam, looking like a fucking idiot, trying to decide if a cube unit will make a good background. Tongue hanging out because apparently, she has no fucking muscle control in her fucking mouth. Either that or Jobless has worn her out... Yeah. I went there.

Kids in the car under a bunch of heavy shit over their heads. Good job loading that stuff, Jobless. You're one sudden stop at high speed or a minor accident away from catastrophic injuries or tragedies. Fucking ass stupid fucking asshole. Someone needs to report his ass before he kills those kids.

Home!!!! Vitamix going. Weenix is eating English soup and opening his mouth with soup in it and it looks like puss and snot and I almost :barf:

all over my laptop. Teach that little brat some manners. He doesn't have to literally eat the fucking camera every time it is in his direction.

Phoenix with the camera. Stop doing that. It sucks.

Jobless crying about how tired he is, after having to play with the kids for a whole week. WHAT????? You're their FATHER, you fucking asshole fuckface PIG. Of course you play with them and pay attention to them and love them. Ever day, all day. I hate your ass, even more. Your kids aren't a part time job. Not that you'd know anything about a job, now would you, you lazy, fat, stupid, jobless fuckface.

Sam crying about jet lag. Oh, boo fucking hoo! You just got back from a trip home. Shut the fuck up.

Jobless with the puter balanced against his gut, stuffing more English junk in his fat maw. Sam, too.

Why do I do this to myself? I need a fucking drink.

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