Desperatella - 280390 attempts at trapping gorgeous part 71

[xIts_JJx]

Someone uploaded a Zoella compilation on pornhub

Of her doing what?

[Jasmine S]

I've just seen Tan in Confidence

Fml. How will Zalfie no sex couple deal with oral and orgasm sounds

I would pay to see that show!

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What was she like!!!!!!!?......
I’m almost rooting for her JUST to piss passive aggressive little snidyella off.

You can get the full recap and more on tanyas thread. But no, it doesn’t seem like Zoe will be in the least bit jealous. I’m sure she’s excited for some negative press to come out.

According to Tanya, Zoe’s bought tickets for 2 shows. I bet she’ll use anxiety as an excuse to get out of one of them.

[kikidrk12]

I've just seen Tan in Confidence

Fml. How will Zalfie no sex couple deal with oral and orgasm sounds

I would pay to see that show!

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Eww. Zoe probably uses the same voice she speaks to Nala with.

Alfie... well, I’m still not convinced he actually has ever had sex, but if he did, he’d struggle to verbalize anything other than “sick,” or “savage.”

Due to their very different sleeping schedules & really weird and uninteresting couples bathing sessions, I doubt its happened in years

Zoe would be like “gorgeous, are you having fun?” “Do you like it?” And Alfie would ignore her twice, then croak “Yow!”

This made me howl with laughter

[AmenAmen91]

I've just seen Tan in Confidence

Fml. How will Zalfie no sex couple deal with oral and orgasm sounds

I would pay to see that show!

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What was she like!!!!!!!?......
I’m almost rooting for her JUST to piss passive aggressive little snidyella off.

I've given detailed reviews on Tans thread

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[toryvilla]

I bet Alfie's like "5 1/2 inches that's huge and savage", " I lasted 24 seconds this time, siick a new record for the longest evvva!"

[HaleyBoBailey]

I bet Alfie's like "5 1/2 inches that's huge and savage", " I lasted 24 seconds this time, siick a new record for the longest evvva!"

I feel like they don’t have sex. It seems like a strictly business relationship at this point. If they do, and that’s a big IF, it’s probably the most bland, boring sex ever. In and out for him, nothing for her. Not even a cuddle after. Alfie straight to the shower, Zoe back on her iPad playing Rollercoaster Tycoon.


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[toryvilla]

I bet Alfie's like "5 1/2 inches that's huge and savage", " I lasted 24 seconds this time, siick a new record for the longest evvva!"

I feel like they don’t have sex. It seems like a strictly business relationship at this point. If they do, and that’s a big IF, it’s probably the most bland, boring sex ever. In and out for him, nothing for her. Not even a cuddle after. Alfie straight to the shower, Zoe back on her iPad playing Rollercoaster Tycoon.


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Yeah I doubt they've done it in the new house, and that must be close to two years.

Alfies going to be shit, so she'd be much better off with a vibe.

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[Jasmine S]

Lol I wonder how sad it is when she takes off her massive padded/push-up bra. But who am I kidding, she probably leaves it on.

Agreed that Alfie probably sucks, but I don’t see her as the type to allow anything but missionary.

[NitrousOxide]

Lol I wonder how sad it is when she takes off her massive padded/push-up bra. But who am I kidding, she probably leaves it on.

Agreed that Alfie probably sucks, but I don’t see her as the type to allow anything but missionary.

And she's allowed to have sex in the way that she enjoys.

[fatdan113]

[quote=Alfie straight to the shower, Zoe back on her iPad playing Rollercoaster Tycoon.


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[MsMaybe]

They probably schedule it at maximum once a month, it probably lasts three seconds. She’ll lie there like a dead fish, arms by her side, the remote in one hand waiting for him to finish so she can watch TGS or Elf again whilst he humps her leg and thinks of Mark.

[Kiem]

If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on Zoe being so offended with Louise telling her to suck it up at Hello World (I remember her mentioning someone told her something to that effect, and I’ve always thought it was L), that she put her X through their relationship right then and there. You know, they go back a loooong time, and maybe I’m off here, but if an old friend can’t even be open with you or call you out on your BS, there’s a big problem.

She does nothing but surround herself with ass kissers now. I get wanting positivity to be a major part of your life, but she’s so isolating. I’m sorry, but you can’t be so delusional to think someone telling you anything other than “You’re so greaaaatttt!” is a hater. That’s just plain asinine.

I know Louise is not a perfect angel, but I’m siding with her on this one. Zoe is plain weak, and I can’t stand that shit.

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I'm not siding with neither because they're both childish and stupid, tbh. The little "subtle" digs they make at each other at every opportunity is just annoying and pathetic coming from women in their late 20s/early 30s. Whatever the reason of their drifting apart they need to let it go and move on already because they're too immature to ever sort it out like adults.

As for Zoe surrouding herself with ass kissers and "wanting positivity"... like Louise is any different she basically censors everyone including her viewers, says if you don't like her hair please don't leave a comment, only leave comments if they're positive... any opinion that differs from hers or anything remotely critical whether dispensed in a constructive way or not she qualifies as "negative" and therefore unwanted. She even responds to her own viewers in a very nasty and condescending way if they ever point out anything she doesn't want to read.

They are both equally pathetic and laughable.

[sailor_mars]

I bet Alfie's like "5 1/2 inches that's huge and savage", " I lasted 24 seconds this time, siick a new record for the longest evvva!"

And then they high five.

[Strawbs123]

Shes so fucking nasty in joes vlog when tracy is reading out zoe’s grandads birthday cards and tearing up, you can just hear zoe like ‘MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD BE READING THEM OUT HAHA’ and joe like awkwardly cuts the clip. So fucking rude be quiet


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[Asor]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44258509
Interesting
Zalfie is such a bad influence!

[HaleyBoBailey]

I bet Alfie's like "5 1/2 inches that's huge and savage", " I lasted 24 seconds this time, siick a new record for the longest evvva!"

And then they high five.

Dead.


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[JrP+90]

I think what bothers me most about Zoe is how she claims to be such a Harry Potter fan and yes she watches the movies ALL the time but she only read the first 2 or 3 books. Like, I’m sorry but you are no Harry Potter fan, you just like to watch movies a lot.

[hermitqueen]

Looks better than any other makeup video but still she doesn't know what look good on her and what not, she hasn't learned anything about makeup with the years and the reason of the video this is why

"⇢ Glossier - 10% off your first order: http://bff.glossier.com/gH1Lt "
in the description box

i know i'm very late on this, but glossier gives 10% off bff codes to anyone who places an order on the site. if you use her code, she gets $10 off her next order. glossier doesn't really sponsor anyone except their reps so i doubt it was sponsored. i feel like she was just super positive because she WANTED to like it, like all the instagram models she wishes she was lol.

[fatdan113]

<a class="vglnk" href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44258509" rel="nofollow"><span>http</span><span>://</span><span>www</span><span>.</span><span>bbc</span><span>.</span><span>co</span><span>.</span><span>uk</span><span>/</span><span>news</span><span>/</span><span>health</span><span>-</span><span>44258509</span></a>
Interesting
Zalfie is such a bad influence!

Yes Yes Yes - finally this could be the start of the media exposing her been a bad influence on young children. Praying it goes viral and The Sun and DM get involved !.

I also liked on the article, how they quoted her with 10.9 million Instagram followers - it will be going down to 10.8 in the next 7 days ! .

[videostar]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44258509
Interesting
Zalfie is such a bad influence!

I was just coming here to share this. It's interesting that the study focused on Zalfie, and it seems to support what we say in their threads all the time. It was a small study though so it'd be interesting to see one done on a large sample size.