Something I Want You To Know (Coming Out)

[Afra]

[video][/video]

I'm happy for her!! What do you guys think?

[ellerose_94]

Amazing! I haven't watched in in full yet, I've got the last 10 minutes to watch but you can see how hard it was for her and how relieved she is to finally be able to admit it! Bless her, I'm so happy for her. If you watched her Draw My Life video, you can see she's never really had it easy, I hope now at least she can finally be herself and be happy.

[dollhouse]

Can someone summarize this for me? I can't sit through it and watch because people crying makes me feel uncomfortable.

[thatsranunculus]

Can someone summarize this for me? I can't sit through it and watch because people crying makes me feel uncomfortable.

She starts out right away by saying, "I guess I'll just get right into it..." and then says, "I'm gay." She cries, smiles, and says, "This moment is real" and talks about how she's been waiting a long time for this. She talks about how people have asked her "when did you know?" She explains that she has *always* known, from her earliest memories, that her natural attraction was toward women, how all of her crushes even as a very little girl were on other girls. Then she gets into the denial/repression stuff. She mentions that outside forces made her feel like her natural feelings were unacceptable, saying that some people around her growing up were accepting but "not the majority." She doesn't mention her family at all, but it's sort of implied (because she doesn't say otherwise) that maybe at least one of her parents wouldn't have been cool with it.

Then she gets into dating guys. She talks about respecting and caring for the men she's dated, but says (I'm paraphrasing, not an exact quote) "I can't give myself completely, physically or emotionally, to a man." She says she isn't capable of being in love with a man. She talks about Chris (doesn't say his name) and says she feels so lucky to have someone like him, that he's been incredibly supportive and respectful through her coming out process. She does mention that she has had "encounters" with girls between her relationships with guys, and that kissing girls, even without any emotional/romantic feelings, felt like "what I'm supposed to be doing." She talks about pushing female friends away because she was afraid she might develop feelings for them.

She talks about coming to terms with her sexuality over the last year. She mentions "dropping everything" and going to New York last year because no matter how hard she tried to distract herself and suppress her feelings, they were "coming out." She talks about a song she heard with the lyric "now I know I can't deny my nature," and how she heard that and totally lost it. She mentions going on a long drive up the coast and sitting on a rock repeating, in her head, "everyone deserves their best chance," and how that day she told someone for the first time (her friend, Cat).

Finally, she says she's been asked, "how do you know this isn't a phase?" and explains that the time she spent "living in a prison that was built for me" (and which she eventually imposed upon herself) was the phase. Being gay, she says, is a part of who she is, and it always has been. She says, "I want to live my life unapologetically." The big tearjerking line near the end: "This is the life that I've always lived in my head, and now it's real. It's real, and I can't believe it's real."

[StereoHeartxx]

I was really shocked when I saw her tweet out this video. Part of me thought it was a fake/deceptive video title at first, but after watching i obviously believe it. It explains alot in terms of her moving to NYC suddenly&her lack of female friendships over the last couple years. I hope now she can work to get those friendships w/Fleur, Allison, Tanya etc back on track.

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[Username]

COMPLETE and utterly SHOCKED!! No one saw this coming, that's for sure!!

[dollhouse]

Can someone summarize this for me? I can't sit through it and watch because people crying makes me feel uncomfortable.

She starts out right away by saying, "I guess I'll just get right into it..." and then says, "I'm gay." She cries, smiles, and says, "This moment is real" and talks about how she's been waiting a long time for this. She talks about how people have asked her "when did you know?" She explains that she has *always* known, from her earliest memories, that her natural attraction was toward women, how all of her crushes even as a very little girl were on other girls. Then she gets into the denial/repression stuff. She mentions that outside forces made her feel like her natural feelings were unacceptable, saying that some people around her growing up were accepting but "not the majority." She doesn't mention her family at all, but it's sort of implied (because she doesn't say otherwise) that maybe at least one of her parents wouldn't have been cool with it.

Then she gets into dating guys. She talks about respecting and caring for the men she's dated, but says (I'm paraphrasing, not an exact quote) "I can't give myself completely, physically or emotionally, to a man." She says she isn't capable of being in love with a man. She talks about Chris (doesn't say his name) and says she feels so lucky to have someone like him, that he's been incredibly supportive and respectful through her coming out process. She does mention that she has had "encounters" with girls between her relationships with guys, and that kissing girls, even without any emotional/romantic feelings, felt like "what I'm supposed to be doing." She talks about pushing female friends away because she was afraid she might develop feelings for them.

She talks about coming to terms with her sexuality over the last year. She mentions "dropping everything" and going to New York last year because no matter how hard she tried to distract herself and suppress her feelings, they were "coming out." She talks about a song she heard with the lyric "now I know I can't deny my nature," and how she heard that and totally lost it. She mentions going on a long drive up the coast and sitting on a rock repeating, in her head, "everyone deserves their best chance," and how that day she told someone for the first time (her friend, Cat).

Finally, she says she's been asked, "how do you know this isn't a phase?" and explains that the time she spent "living in a prison that was built for me" (and which she eventually imposed upon herself) was the phase. Being gay, she says, is a part of who she is, and it always has been. She says, "I want to live my life unapologetically." The big tearjerking line near the end: "This is the life that I've always lived in my head, and now it's real. It's real, and I can't believe it's real."

Wow! thanks for the paraphrase, super helpful. Makes a lot of sense.

[AnonGirl]

I don't get what the big deal is. Her sex life is her own so I just don't get the whole "I'm coming out" thing. Yes, I have a very close relative who is gay but what does it matter to me? It's like that with everyone else in the world. I could careless if a person is bi sexual, asexual, homosexual heterosexual or whatever because that doesn't make me like or dislike a person. Their character is what makes me like a person and if they're genuine or not. Seems like people should keep that in mind rather what a person's sexual preference is or isn't.

[MsBuckingham]

It may not matter to you, and that's great, but it matters to her. We should respect people's need to voice their feelings and inner world, especially if it's part of a healing process as it clearly is here. I'm so happy for her.
I remember when I told someone I was bisexual for the first time and how liberating that felt,. Though I've only had positive reactions to that, it still feels good every time I mention it (I haven't said it like that since but if I'm talking about having sexual feelings for a girl, obviously people notice me using the pronoun 'she').

[kaseycon]

This is the first time I actually ever semi-liked Ingrid. Although I don’t think her being a lesbian makes me like her or will make me respect her again, this video really caught me off guard and kind of touched me. Ingrid is one of the gurus i will never understand no matter how hard i try. Going back to her first videos 4-5 years ago, she is like this stuck up, conceited, popular girl who never smiles and pays way too much attention to her hair. Then Luke changes her into a fame hungry serious youtuber and she starts doing tags and collab videos. Then overnight she turned into this free spirit hippie who loves donuts and moves to nyc randomly. And at this point the only time another person was in her video was a quick snap of her boyfriend Chris. Now she comes out as lesbian, and i don’t know what to think anymore. I love this video, but coming out as homosexual doesn’t justify her years of bitchiness, selfishness, and weirdness for me. For me, she has never showed her honest life on youtube, I feel like her entire youtube career has been this saga of fake personas. I’m happy at least now I know something honest about her.

[kaseycon]

This is the first time I actually ever semi-liked Ingrid. Although I don’t think her being a lesbian makes me like her or will make me respect her again, this video really caught me off guard and kind of touched me. Ingrid is one of the gurus i will never understand no matter how hard i try. Going back to her first videos 4-5 years ago, she is like this stuck up, conceited, popular girl who never smiles and pays way too much attention to her hair. Then Luke changes her into a fame hungry serious youtuber and she starts doing tags and collab videos. Then overnight she turned into this free spirit hippie who loves donuts and moves to nyc randomly. And at this point the only time another person was in her video was a quick snap of her boyfriend Chris. Now she comes out as lesbian, and i don’t know what to think anymore. I love this video, but coming out as homosexual doesn’t justify her years of bitchiness, selfishness, and weirdness for me. For me, she has never showed her honest life on youtube, I feel like her entire youtube career has been this saga of fake personas. I’m happy at least now I know something honest about her.

[Devastat0r]

The coming out videos aren't for Straight people like myself. They are for the people with the same struggles to come to terms with who they are.

Representation is important for every young person but some of us are more fortunate to find it than others.

[Guest]

Yeah, I think she made the video because she wanted to be honest about who she truly is. not just for people with the same struggles. She has millions of subscribers who would have wanted an explanation of why she was no longer dating her boyfriend. I don't see how she could all of a sudden introduce a girl as her girlfriend without it being a huge deal. I appreciated her coming out story and thought it was important for herself to live a genuine life and she also felt it was important to tell her viewers because youtube is not one sided. It's a relationship she created with millions of people and I think as also I think Ingrid thought they deserved an explanation. Glad it was so well received.

[sheslostcontrol]

When I first saw the title for the video, I thought she'd just be screwing with us. I feel bad for thinking that now...the video was really well done and I'm happy for her for coming out It's also really awesome that the youtube community is doing a great job at showing support for her. Hopefully coming out will be a major step in her accepting herself so she doesn't switch out her personalities like the flavor of the month. I really wish the best for her.

[acquaesapone]

COMPLETE and utterly SHOCKED!! No one saw this coming, that's for sure!!

did really no one see this coming?? because I totally did! When I started watching her in 2012 I didn't but the last maybe year and a half I totally got that vibe from her. Especially when she started changing her style and her hair.. and even her videos (just the fact that she toned down the make-up videos and the hauls etc). I got super emotional when I watched the video and watched her be so emotional but finally happy and free and I felt like yelling GIRL I KNEW!!!! YOU GO!

I wonder if her good friends really didn't know?! From their social media stuff it seems like they really didn't.. which I find super weird

Anyway SO SO happy for her.

[Tsubaki]

COMPLETE and utterly SHOCKED!! No one saw this coming, that's for sure!!

did really no one see this coming?? because I totally did! When I started watching her in 2012 I didn't but the last maybe year and a half I totally got that vibe from her. Especially when she started changing her style and her hair.. and even her videos (just the fact that she toned down the make-up videos and the hauls etc). I got super emotional when I watched the video and watched her be so emotional but finally happy and free and I felt like yelling GIRL I KNEW!!!! YOU GO!

I wonder if her good friends really didn't know?! From their social media stuff it seems like they really didn't.. which I find super weird

Anyway SO SO happy for her.

I had my suspicions because of her history with her boyfriends. I know it's a big stretch, and involves jumping to conclusions too quickly, but that's what I do... a lot of (not exactly an admirable trait). Unfortunately, my gay-dar is not a reliable source. I remembered reading someone's comment under a video saying something along the lines of "If she's not a lesbian, I don't know what," followed by her minions telling that person that she was wrong, she's dating a guy... etc. When I read that, I thought, "That would make a lot of sense to me."

------

I have to admit, at first I thought it was click bait but when I clicked to watch it and she started crying, I felt like crying too... and it felt like the first video I've seen where she's genuinely honest about her thoughts and not holding back. I guess the whole thing with Caitlin Jenner is bringing about people to be honest to their friends, and in my head, that's a good thing, albeit being a matter of gender identity and she's just revealed her sexuality.

I'm really happy for Ingrid as well.

I understand that her coming out doesn't excuse her for her lower quality content these past years, but she isn't giving this as an excuse. I just hope she sticks with one persona from now on, at least keep something consistent, now that she's got that huge 'secret' off her chest.

[Celia]

Honestly, as much as I hate to say this, age came across as very insincere in this video. It's not that I think she's lying about being gay, it just didn't feel "real" to me. Like her emotions weren't real and she's saying a lot of cliche things we exist to hear.

[crowcrow]

COMPLETE and utterly SHOCKED!! No one saw this coming, that's for sure!!

Precisely, I was thinking she is making that video as a way of raising acceptance for gay people and using the title as a bait, but OMG, I'm so so shocked

[Guest]

This is the first time I actually ever semi-liked Ingrid. Although I don’t think her being a lesbian makes me like her or will make me respect her again, this video really caught me off guard and kind of touched me. Ingrid is one of the gurus i will never understand no matter how hard i try. Going back to her first videos 4-5 years ago, she is like this stuck up, conceited, popular girl who never smiles and pays way too much attention to her hair. Then Luke changes her into a fame hungry serious youtuber and she starts doing tags and collab videos. Then overnight she turned into this free spirit hippie who loves donuts and moves to nyc randomly. And at this point the only time another person was in her video was a quick snap of her boyfriend Chris. Now she comes out as lesbian, and i don’t know what to think anymore. I love this video, but coming out as homosexual doesn’t justify her years of bitchiness, selfishness, and weirdness for me. For me, she has never showed her honest life on youtube, I feel like her entire youtube career has been this saga of fake personas. I’m happy at least now I know something honest about her.

Well said. I don't think Ingrid has ever struck me as an honest person on her YouTube channel. But I was very pleasantly surprised that this was not just click-bait and that she has really come out and went so in-depth about this experience. I think it was a really genuine video.

[KillerBee]

Honestly, as much as I hate to say this, age came across as very insincere in this video. It's not that I think she's lying about being gay, it just didn't feel "real" to me. Like her emotions weren't real and she's saying a lot of cliche things we exist to hear.

I indeed second this.
For me I had the feeling in the beginning that her "sobbing" was rather acting than honest. I really don't know, I cannot imagine any reason why she would lie about anything like that, but most of the times I didn't find her honest at all.