Moving

Post Reply
brookeelise
Learner
Learner
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:45 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Moving

Post by brookeelise » Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:34 pm

Okay this might be kinda long but ill try to make it as short as possible, if you have time please read and give me advice

So Im 14 and live with my mom in North Carolina, my dad lives in Michigan, and one of my aunts lives in Chicago
About a year ago I had 8 grand mal seizures in one day and I lost most of my memory. I switched schools because I didn't want to go back to a school where I didn't remember anyone and I didn't want everyone to know what happened but people there knew me and I got scared around those people and I would have panic attacks everyday and I've switched schools twice since then but I guess I had friends in a lot of different schools around here and there were always people that knew me. Now I'm homeschooled and I completely stopped talking to everyone because it felt to weird for me to start being friends with them, so I have no friends except for one person who I hang out with about once a month. I get to scared to go out because I'm scared people that I don't remember will talk to me but I want to be a normal teen and go to high school.

My dad was (possibly still is, but I'm not sure) and alcoholic and a pathological liar. I know I would hate living with him but I think it could be worth it just to live with him until I graduate high school (I'm graduating when I'm 16 because I am ahead on credits and I was already a year younger than other kids in my grade) so I can go to school and have friends and just be normal.

My aunt has also offered to let me live with her in Chicago. Me and her are really close and I would love to live with her and go to school there but I would feel bad having her support me (she also has 2 kids) and even though they all said that I'm welcome there I think they might be offering because they feel like they have to I don't think they want me to live there.

So if you were in my position what would you do?

User avatar
justanotherhater

Re: Moving

Post by justanotherhater » Thu Nov 29, 2012 7:27 am

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Although I never lived through that, I can see where you are coming from.

I would not want you to live with your dad, you need a good support system. You are going through a lot, and since you're going to a place where you don't know any one, I wouldn't recommend living with someone that could possibly neglect you. It might make everything much worse. I'd hate for you to feel alone, especially in a time like this.

I'm sure your aunt loves you, and you will in no way be a burden to her. I would say, get a part time job and speak to your mother about helping your aunt in supporting you. Your aunt should be a good solid support system for you, and no matter what difficulties you might go through as a new student in a new place, she will help you through it. You wouldn't feel alone, and that's really important. Since you're 14, you could help her by helping her with the kids (assuming they are young) and just try your best to be as helpful as possible. She will appreciate that, and you wouldn't have to feel like a burden in any way. What's important for you in the next two years is to start your life over, in a positive way and with someone there to support you.

I hope this helped and good luck with everything <3

crazycandy
Talker
Talker
Posts: 116
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 6:22 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Moving

Post by crazycandy » Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:18 pm

panic attack is due to over thinking (over thinking of the worse). there is no solid proof that those fear you hold is true. and with panic attack you need support from people you trust, family and a handful of friends you can talk to. i had panic attack and i honestly thought its for life (kindda thing). it is terrible during those time, there are help and support for this, on the internet and going to your Dr. i can imagine how scary it is for you.

i dont think its a good idea to live with your dad. it fact he might make a bad impact on you. like you said he's an alcoholic and a pathological liar. it wont be a good environment for you, nor do i think he can give u support that u need.
if your auntie doesn't mind she wouldn't have mention offering you a place in her home. you can always make up for it by being helpful around her house and doing the household chores. i do feel it will be a better atmosphere as you are very close to her and i'm sure you would get along with your 2 cousin (and can also lessen your panic attack).
dont think its a case of they have to, as you have you mom or your dad. but they probably believe its better for u to be with them rather then your dad (as they care about you).

(if you need someone to talk to you can always PM me)

worldofchances
Talker
Talker
Posts: 154
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 1:23 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Moving

Post by worldofchances » Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:21 pm

JustAnotherHater wrote:I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Although I never lived through that, I can see where you are coming from.

I would not want you to live with your dad, you need a good support system. You are going through a lot, and since you're going to a place where you don't know any one, I wouldn't recommend living with someone that could possibly neglect you. It might make everything much worse. I'd hate for you to feel alone, especially in a time like this.

I'm sure your aunt loves you, and you will in no way be a burden to her. I would say, get a part time job and speak to your mother about helping your aunt in supporting you. Your aunt should be a good solid support system for you, and no matter what difficulties you might go through as a new student in a new place, she will help you through it. You wouldn't feel alone, and that's really important. Since you're 14, you could help her by helping her with the kids (assuming they are young) and just try your best to be as helpful as possible. She will appreciate that, and you wouldn't have to feel like a burden in any way. What's important for you in the next two years is to start your life over, in a positive way and with someone there to support you.

I hope this helped and good luck with everything <3
THIS. This is exactly what I wanted to say. Sending love to you girl, I hope everything works out :love2:
Image

nothinggold
Informer
Informer
Posts: 496
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:16 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Moving

Post by nothinggold » Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:16 pm

Go live with your aunt. If you're worried you'll burden her, find a part time job(only like 10-15 hours) and perhaps pay her rent monthly. It won't make up for what she'll spend on you but I'm sure she'd appreciate it and work experience is always good. If she won't accept it, at least you'll make your own spending money so you won't have to ask for some when you go out with friends or to shop. Or as somebody mentioned, offer to help do chores.
Once you graduate school, you really should consider continuing to take classes at a community college and getting a part time job. It sucks to not have friends but getting a job or taking classes gives you people you already have something in common with. Neither option may provide friends your age but don't under estimate older friends. Personally, I got along really well with older women I worked with. You just have to give everybody a chance and be yourself.
Good luck!
Yeezy Taught Me
Image
Image

brookeelise
Learner
Learner
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:45 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Moving

Post by brookeelise » Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:23 pm

Thanks everyone :) I'm still thinking about all of it but I'm probably going to move in with my aunt and starting school next semester

User avatar
justanotherhater

Re: Moving

Post by justanotherhater » Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:59 pm

I'm so glad you made that decision. I really hope things work out for you. Keep us updated, and you can PM me if you ever needed someone to talk to <3

Angie V
Master Gossiper
Master Gossiper
Posts: 3561
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:52 am
Location: los angeles, ca
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Moving

Post by Angie V » Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:00 am

I think you should live with your aunt. If you feel like a burden, help out around the house, maybe get a part-time job, and just be helpful in general to show your gratitude.

I live in Chicago, and it is awesome so at least you'll be in a great place!
imma ball til the day i fall

Post Reply

Return to “Home”