Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

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Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by eggybeggy » Fri Jul 20, 2018 3:50 pm

Over in the land far far away from any WIFI or blogger events sat Lydia Elise Millen. She was at home again, pondering her life. She knew that something was missing from her life but couldn't work out what... was it just the straw she had had cut from her hair?? Was it the beige salmon? Was it Carries pottery stories??? Then it clicked...the sympathy that she had received from the minions, after Ali's evil paint spillage, had started to wain. Thats it!! She was missing sympathy from the minions!!! She jumped from her chair by the kitchen window and proclaimed that she need more sympathy. She frantically ran to the basement to ask carrie how she could get more sympathy from the minions. Carrie was the only one between them with half a brain cell.. so lidl thought that carrie must know... Carrie would know how to restore sympathy to her life. Carrie came up with an idea.. she said that if Lidl was to do something 'wrong'.. after the initial backlash from the haters and trolls... her die hard minions would jump in to her defence and proclaim their love and fight off all the trolls and haters with their caring, fawning words of adoration for their Princess Two Balls. Now they just needed to decide what angle they were to go at this from... A clickbait title was a tried and tested way of annoying people, so carrie figured this would be the quickest way to kick it all off... But now they had to decide what title.... Should they use 'i found my husband in the closet'... No, lidl was saving this one for another time.. she would use that when times were really bad.. not just for a quick pick me up! Another option was 'i went to an event' but Carrie knew that they couldn't just outright lie. So it was decided.. lets call an #ad a 'Life Update'. Hmmm sneaky thought lidl, she could do another #ad but mask it as a life update and kill two birds with one stone.. she could piss off the subs AND try flogging her Cu*t Beauty Box at the same time. Wow.. if lidl weren't so stingy.. carrie would have got a pay rise for this plan!! So there it was.. the plan was made and it was put into action. They sat there watching the comments come in. If anyone dare say to lidl.. that they had been going through a worse time.. lidl would shout them down.. how dare they try and take over her pity party. How dare they!! By this point carrie had stopped caring what was going on on twitter and was just sat taking picture of her feet. If lidl paid her more.. she might have told her not to shout down at someone going through a really rough time. But alas.. carrie did not care about the aftermath of her plan.. she left lidl to deal with this on her own... her job here was done....

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by SarahsauceReturns » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:00 pm

eggybeggy wrote:Over in the land far far away from any WIFI or blogger events sat Lydia Elise Millen. She was at home again, pondering her life. She knew that something was missing from her life but couldn't work out what... was it just the straw she had had cut from her hair?? Was it the beige salmon? Was it Carries pottery stories??? Then it clicked...the sympathy that she had received from the minions, after Ali's evil paint spillage, had started to wain. Thats it!! She was missing sympathy from the minions!!! She jumped from her chair by the kitchen window and proclaimed that she need more sympathy. She frantically ran to the basement to ask carrie how she could get more sympathy from the minions. Carrie was the only one between them with half a brain cell.. so lidl thought that carrie must know... Carrie would know how to restore sympathy to her life. Carrie came up with an idea.. she said that if Lidl was to do something 'wrong'.. after the initial backlash from the haters and trolls... her die hard minions would jump in to her defence and proclaim their love and fight off all the trolls and haters with their caring, fawning words of adoration for their Princess Two Balls. Now they just needed to decide what angle they were to go at this from... A clickbait title was a tried and tested way of annoying people, so carrie figured this would be the quickest way to kick it all off... But now they had to decide what title.... Should they use 'i found my husband in the closet'... No, lidl was saving this one for another time.. she would use that when times were really bad.. not just for a quick pick me up! Another option was 'i went to an event' but Carrie knew that they couldn't just outright lie. So it was decided.. lets call an #ad a 'Life Update'. Hmmm sneaky thought lidl, she could do another #ad but mask it as a life update and kill two birds with one stone.. she could piss off the subs AND try flogging her Cu*t Beauty Box at the same time. Wow.. if lidl weren't so stingy.. carrie would have got a pay rise for this plan!! So there it was.. the plan was made and it was put into action. They sat there watching the comments come in. If anyone dare say to lidl.. that they had been going through a worse time.. lidl would shout them down.. how dare they try and take over her pity party. How dare they!! By this point carrie had stopped caring what was going on on twitter and was just sat taking picture of her feet. If lidl paid her more.. she might have told her not to shout down at someone going through a really rough time. But alas.. carrie did not care about the aftermath of her plan.. she left lidl to deal with this on her own... her job here was done....
Love it! :tu:

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by PixelGirl » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:07 pm

SarahsauceReturns wrote:
eggybeggy wrote:Over in the land far far away from any WIFI or blogger events sat Lydia Elise Millen. She was at home again, pondering her life. She knew that something was missing from her life but couldn't work out what... was it just the straw she had had cut from her hair?? Was it the beige salmon? Was it Carries pottery stories??? Then it clicked...the sympathy that she had received from the minions, after Ali's evil paint spillage, had started to wain. Thats it!! She was missing sympathy from the minions!!! She jumped from her chair by the kitchen window and proclaimed that she need more sympathy. She frantically ran to the basement to ask carrie how she could get more sympathy from the minions. Carrie was the only one between them with half a brain cell.. so lidl thought that carrie must know... Carrie would know how to restore sympathy to her life. Carrie came up with an idea.. she said that if Lidl was to do something 'wrong'.. after the initial backlash from the haters and trolls... her die hard minions would jump in to her defence and proclaim their love and fight off all the trolls and haters with their caring, fawning words of adoration for their Princess Two Balls. Now they just needed to decide what angle they were to go at this from... A clickbait title was a tried and tested way of annoying people, so carrie figured this would be the quickest way to kick it all off... But now they had to decide what title.... Should they use 'i found my husband in the closet'... No, lidl was saving this one for another time.. she would use that when times were really bad.. not just for a quick pick me up! Another option was 'i went to an event' but Carrie knew that they couldn't just outright lie. So it was decided.. lets call an #ad a 'Life Update'. Hmmm sneaky thought lidl, she could do another #ad but mask it as a life update and kill two birds with one stone.. she could piss off the subs AND try flogging her Cu*t Beauty Box at the same time. Wow.. if lidl weren't so stingy.. carrie would have got a pay rise for this plan!! So there it was.. the plan was made and it was put into action. They sat there watching the comments come in. If anyone dare say to lidl.. that they had been going through a worse time.. lidl would shout them down.. how dare they try and take over her pity party. How dare they!! By this point carrie had stopped caring what was going on on twitter and was just sat taking picture of her feet. If lidl paid her more.. she might have told her not to shout down at someone going through a really rough time. But alas.. carrie did not care about the aftermath of her plan.. she left lidl to deal with this on her own... her job here was done....
Love it! :tu:
Yes, brilliant work as always Eggy

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by NooNoo » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:11 pm

eggybeggy wrote:Over in the land far far away from any WIFI or blogger events sat Lydia Elise Millen. She was at home again, pondering her life. She knew that something was missing from her life but couldn't work out what... was it just the straw she had had cut from her hair?? Was it the beige salmon? Was it Carries pottery stories??? Then it clicked...the sympathy that she had received from the minions, after Ali's evil paint spillage, had started to wain. Thats it!! She was missing sympathy from the minions!!! She jumped from her chair by the kitchen window and proclaimed that she need more sympathy. She frantically ran to the basement to ask carrie how she could get more sympathy from the minions. Carrie was the only one between them with half a brain cell.. so lidl thought that carrie must know... Carrie would know how to restore sympathy to her life. Carrie came up with an idea.. she said that if Lidl was to do something 'wrong'.. after the initial backlash from the haters and trolls... her die hard minions would jump in to her defence and proclaim their love and fight off all the trolls and haters with their caring, fawning words of adoration for their Princess Two Balls. Now they just needed to decide what angle they were to go at this from... A clickbait title was a tried and tested way of annoying people, so carrie figured this would be the quickest way to kick it all off... But now they had to decide what title.... Should they use 'i found my husband in the closet'... No, lidl was saving this one for another time.. she would use that when times were really bad.. not just for a quick pick me up! Another option was 'i went to an event' but Carrie knew that they couldn't just outright lie. So it was decided.. lets call an #ad a 'Life Update'. Hmmm sneaky thought lidl, she could do another #ad but mask it as a life update and kill two birds with one stone.. she could piss off the subs AND try flogging her Cu*t Beauty Box at the same time. Wow.. if lidl weren't so stingy.. carrie would have got a pay rise for this plan!! So there it was.. the plan was made and it was put into action. They sat there watching the comments come in. If anyone dare say to lidl.. that they had been going through a worse time.. lidl would shout them down.. how dare they try and take over her pity party. How dare they!! By this point carrie had stopped caring what was going on on twitter and was just sat taking picture of her feet. If lidl paid her more.. she might have told her not to shout down at someone going through a really rough time. But alas.. carrie did not care about the aftermath of her plan.. she left lidl to deal with this on her own... her job here was done....
Brilliant! I didn’t want the story to end Image please tell me you get paid for your writing, bloody genius!


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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by 1980shairscrunchie » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:19 pm

Eggy if only you were a YouTube star!

You could have been the only one of the lot whom actually wrote their novel :respekt:

Well done!

Now I’m going to make a cup of tea and sit down and pretend I haven’t read it yet so I can enjoy it again.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Oohthedrama_ » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:47 pm

Let all hope Lidl goes to sleep with a smile on her face knowing her thread is moving again. It must have been a scary few days for the poor little witch when a thread that moved at 40 pages in less than a week was struggling to hit 4in less than a week :?
All publicity is..... well one step closer to the walk in wardrobe :FU:
Most likely related to Satan. Not confirmed

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by gggremlin » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:47 pm

a thrilling read, eggy!


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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by iliketogossipabit » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:50 pm

eggybeggy wrote:Over in the land far far away from any WIFI or blogger events sat Lydia Elise Millen. She was at home again, pondering her life. She knew that something was missing from her life but couldn't work out what... was it just the straw she had had cut from her hair?? Was it the beige salmon? Was it Carries pottery stories??? Then it clicked...the sympathy that she had received from the minions, after Ali's evil paint spillage, had started to wain. Thats it!! She was missing sympathy from the minions!!! She jumped from her chair by the kitchen window and proclaimed that she need more sympathy. She frantically ran to the basement to ask carrie how she could get more sympathy from the minions. Carrie was the only one between them with half a brain cell.. so lidl thought that carrie must know... Carrie would know how to restore sympathy to her life. Carrie came up with an idea.. she said that if Lidl was to do something 'wrong'.. after the initial backlash from the haters and trolls... her die hard minions would jump in to her defence and proclaim their love and fight off all the trolls and haters with their caring, fawning words of adoration for their Princess Two Balls. Now they just needed to decide what angle they were to go at this from... A clickbait title was a tried and tested way of annoying people, so carrie figured this would be the quickest way to kick it all off... But now they had to decide what title.... Should they use 'i found my husband in the closet'... No, lidl was saving this one for another time.. she would use that when times were really bad.. not just for a quick pick me up! Another option was 'i went to an event' but Carrie knew that they couldn't just outright lie. So it was decided.. lets call an #ad a 'Life Update'. Hmmm sneaky thought lidl, she could do another #ad but mask it as a life update and kill two birds with one stone.. she could piss off the subs AND try flogging her Cu*t Beauty Box at the same time. Wow.. if lidl weren't so stingy.. carrie would have got a pay rise for this plan!! So there it was.. the plan was made and it was put into action. They sat there watching the comments come in. If anyone dare say to lidl.. that they had been going through a worse time.. lidl would shout them down.. how dare they try and take over her pity party. How dare they!! By this point carrie had stopped caring what was going on on twitter and was just sat taking picture of her feet. If lidl paid her more.. she might have told her not to shout down at someone going through a really rough time. But alas.. carrie did not care about the aftermath of her plan.. she left lidl to deal with this on her own... her job here was done....
Perfection


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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by beahunny » Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:26 pm

Lydia just take a break from YouTube and focus on your Instagram ads. You are clearly uninspired and apathetic towards your videos right now.

If anyone enjoys watching you Hoover or iron to music, they can watch the videos you already have uploaded. Just take a proper break and try to find some real inspiration or creativity and then return to uploading.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by SillySausage » Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:06 pm

Time to take that honeymoon Ali has been begging for.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by 1980shairscrunchie » Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:10 pm

SillySausage wrote:Time to take that honeymoon Ali has been begging for.
Doesn’t matter which exotic destination they go. Lydia would still rather sit in her hotel and take a Pinterest bath :P

However, id gladly watch 30 mins of Ali doing blue steel in hotel mirrors as long as he does his usual infomercial Inspiration cut ins where he uses his creative side and zooms in on plants and light flares and the ambiance.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Aimz_yeah » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:06 pm

Following

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Contemptress » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:22 pm

Oohthedrama_ wrote:Let all hope Lidl goes to sleep with a smile on her face knowing her thread is moving again. It must have been a scary few days for the poor little witch when a thread that moved at 40 pages in less than a week was struggling to hit 4in less than a week :?
All publicity is..... well one step closer to the walk in wardrobe :FU:
Then we’ll have no choice but to start a new thread as the “Witch in the wardrobe” Image


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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by eggybeggy » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:26 pm

Just noticed my typo in the title.. sorry people :( My writing is nearly as bad as lidl's. But i suppose she will think my grammar and punctuation are top notch.. so thats all that matters!

Why doesn't OAP Jo step in and have a word with her.. Surely Jo can see its not normal to reply to the woman whose partner committed suicide. Isn't Jo a therapist? A therapist would have a field day with our lidl. What goes through lidls mind to pick out that comment and try and take the woman on. Anyone with an ounce of compassion would read that and either leave it or reply and say sorry for your loss. She would cause an argument in an empty room.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by sunnyem2018 » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:31 pm

I think her new meltdown proves that she isn’t getting offered any substantial work. She claims she has made a choice to ‘take some time off’, has stopped travelling and basically wants to live in her forever home forever...however I’m sure if she is reduced to tears as she claims every time she posts content, she would be taking some of those excitIng opportunities offers she supposedly gets to improve her content and stop all the dull/boring comments. I just think she has now realised she has nothing to post and this isn’t sustainable for her....

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by eggybeggy » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:42 pm

She is one of those people who wants to get away with doing fuck all and for no1 to mention it. She said its getting harder and harder to post... well thats because with every post, her content gets worse. If she actually read what people were saying and leant from it instead of taking the defensive and arguing with anyone that doesn't agree. She is her own worst enemy. I don't know why she continues to pretend to be a hard working YTer, just give it up. Like someone else said.. she would have become a WAG if she could have pulled a footballer... but then again, i still think if she had a someone bank rolling her she would still want to rub it in everyones faces about how spoilt she is. She's a disgusting person.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by GeorgeePorgee » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:46 pm

eggybeggy wrote:Just noticed my typo in the title.. sorry people :( My writing is nearly as bad as lidl's. But i suppose she will think my grammar and punctuation are top notch.. so thats all that matters!

Why doesn't OAP Jo step in and have a word with her.. Surely Jo can see its not normal to reply to the woman whose partner committed suicide. Isn't Jo a therapist? A therapist would have a field day with our lidl. What goes through lidls mind to pick out that comment and try and take the woman on. Anyone with an ounce of compassion would read that and either leave it or reply and say sorry for your loss. She would cause an argument in an empty room.
No this was good old Jo's inputImage

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by eggybeggy » Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:52 pm

Does the relaunched Cu*t Beauty box include a supply of antibiotics.. is that the reason for the relaunch?? :rofl:

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Honeybee745 » Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:02 am

Why is she saying she needs to get used to her new haircut? She had that exact same length less than 2 years ago and there is no difference in the cut at all.... :roll: :roll:

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by mememem » Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:20 am

Image this is lidl

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by SarahsauceReturns » Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:18 am

Contemptress wrote:
Oohthedrama_ wrote:Let all hope Lidl goes to sleep with a smile on her face knowing her thread is moving again. It must have been a scary few days for the poor little witch when a thread that moved at 40 pages in less than a week was struggling to hit 4in less than a week :?
All publicity is..... well one step closer to the walk in wardrobe :FU:
Then we’ll have no choice but to start a new thread as the “Witch in the wardrobe” Image


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The lying witch and the wardrobe :rofl:

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by PixelGirl » Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:41 am

eggybeggy wrote:She is one of those people who wants to get away with doing fuck all and for no1 to mention it. She said its getting harder and harder to post... well thats because with every post, her content gets worse. If she actually read what people were saying and leant from it instead of taking the defensive and arguing with anyone that doesn't agree. She is her own worst enemy. I don't know why she continues to pretend to be a hard working YTer, just give it up. Like someone else said.. she would have become a WAG if she could have pulled a footballer... but then again, i still think if she had a someone bank rolling her she would still want to rub it in everyones faces about how spoilt she is. She's a disgusting person.
I think she has in mind she'll still live like a wag but be a Youtuber one instead. She'll stay home and play house, doing the occasional lenor or zoflora ad, let Ali do the earning, she'll do the spending. After all fairs fair she'll need to pull her weight.

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by PixelGirl » Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:43 am

Honeybee745 wrote:Why is she saying she needs to get used to her new haircut? She had that exact same length less than 2 years ago and there is no difference in the cut at all.... :roll: :roll:
Because she's dillusional

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Gusber » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:15 am

The trouble with OAP Jo’s analogy, is that Lidl, as well as many other ‘influenzas’ try to tell us that the sky is purple. Then, when people who aren’t fawning idiots point out that, actually, no; you’re wrong, the sky is NOT purple, we get told we’re jealous haters and we’ve made Princess Lidl Tippytoes cry and have an emotional breakdown! I mean...What??!!

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Re: Lild TurdFlake the Clickbait Princess #27

Post by Cyan95 » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:33 am

I seriously cannot believe her reply to that girl Karen who lost her partner. She really is a grub.

I looked at that thread on twitter and the replies from her minions, I am speechless. There are some absolute arsehats that idolise her.

Lidl really needs a reality check.





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