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End of a relationship

Posted: Fri May 05, 2017 1:37 pm
by Buttercups
Hi,
I suppose I'm not really looking for advice, I'm either looking for a confidence boost in a way or some clarification that I did the right thing.

Nearly two months ago I moved out of my flat that I has with my boyfriend. We had been together for 3 years (the day after our anniversary I moved out) and We had our own flat and two cats.
When I first met him we were both working at a restaurant, I was 18 and he was 23 and I had recently split up with my first ever boyfriend.

He was confident and funny and that's what I loved. He messed me around for over a year. We were 'friends with benefits' but I loved him and he didn't love me. He slept with other people and broke my heart. Ironically, as soon as I fancied someone else he decided I was the one for him and we got together.
We went on dates and in the end we moved in together.
We went on holidays and got serious. Got two little kittens.
I suffer badly from depression and a few times when I was suffering badly I was crying, feeling as down as could possibly be, and he stood over me laughing. This happened a few times.
Basically I hadn't been in love with him for a while and was thinking 'the last fight we have is the last'.
And we has that fight, the day after our 3rd anniversary. I moved out, went to my parents and took the cats.
When I moved out he didn't even try and talk to me. He ended or over WhatsApp eventually after I asked if it was over
I don't miss him, I don't feel any want for him. I miss having an other half.
But I feel shit that he hasn't wanted me back, is that bad of me?
I don't know if I'm weird.
Sorry it's so long

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Re: End of a relationship

Posted: Fri May 05, 2017 2:01 pm
by Nixiberry
That's a perfectly normal thing to feel. You've spent so much time and effort on this person and for them to not care at all is obviously hurtful and probably makes you question if they even cared for you at all. You've definitely done the right thing - you won't be wasting any more time in a futile relationship and will be able to start afresh and eventually find someone who would move heaven and earth to keep you. I hope you feel better soon!! At least you've got the kitties ;)

Re: End of a relationship

Posted: Tue May 16, 2017 6:44 pm
by tar
It is a perfectly normal thing to feel. You put your time and effort into this man. He was unworthy of you but
with all that time it is normal for you to think that he should feel something. He should care some for you. Honestly
once the hurt subsides a little, you will see how lucky you were to escape someone who didn't put you and your
feelings first. 3 years is a long time for him to seemingly let you go so easily. Even if he never really loved you,
he should care for you as a friend. Maybe he thinks a clean cut was the best. There is a man out there who will
move put you first. Watch how he treats his mother and family.

You will find someone worthy of your time and love. Look hard for him. Don't settle. Never settle.
The most important thing is that you got your cats. He didn't try to take them away.