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Post by maledimiele » Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:56 am

I started dating my ex in 2010 when i was 15 and broke up with him at the end of summer 2013. I ended the relationship because he was emotionally and physically abusive.
After I broke up with him i blocked him and just stopped all communication. I would still get calls and messages from him using his friends' phones or Facebook accounts. I continued to ignore him even though i felt kind of guilty. I was too happy being single to go back to being yelled at, pushed around, lied to and stolen from.
February 2014 I started dating my current boyfriend. We treat each other very well and we are both very happy. My ex was still contacting me a few times a week. When he found out I had a new boyfriend, things got worse. He called me crying saying he was going to kill himself if I didn't get back together with him. When he threatened to kill himself I started texting him trying to talk him out of it because I was scared. Every time I would stop texting for a few hours he would go back to saying he was going to kill himself. This went on for a few days and I was getting really stressed out so I sent his mom a message about what he had been saying. She was shocked and worried and she took him to a therapist.
I was relieved because now his mom was responsible for taking care of him and I was able to ignore him again so I didn't have to feel like i was being disloyal to my current boyfriend.
For a few months everything was fine, but last week it started again. I woke up to messages on my phone saying things like "just keep ignoring" "you're a b****" "I promise you someday soon I will be dead and you will remember this".
I have a strong feeling that he just threatens suicide because he knows it gets my attention. However, I don't want to ignore the issue and find out he was serious, and live my life knowing I could have prevented it.
I don't want to start responding to him because I feel like that would be disrespectful to my current BF. I can't handle the stress that this puts on my anymore so I am wondering what you would do?
Tell my boyfriend that this is going on?
Tell my ex's mom again? I am worried that she will think I am saying things to him to provoke this behavior.
Go to the police? I don't want to get him in trouble or press charges or anything I just want this all to stop.
I really don't want to get my parents involved, my mother and I aren't close and my dad would just be beyond angry that my ex has been harassing me like this.
Thanks for any insight that anyone can offer, and if you have ever dealt with something similar please share!

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Re: Harassment

Post by fauxfox » Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:41 pm

Change all of your numbers so that he can't contact you anymore. Tell your boyfriend and your dad. Tell his mother again and say that you'll file for a restraining order if her son contacts you ever again. Then live your life and don't think about him anymore. Abusive guys cry for attention this way all the time; it's just one of their ploys. I can practically assure you that he will not kill himself; by the sound of it, he's the last person who would actually do that. He's doing this to manipulate you because he's a sociopath, so get yourself far, far away from him and make sure everyone knows about it in your life so they can be viligant for you and for themselves. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Hopefully your ex will find someone else and then he'll be distracted from harassing you.

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