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How to get out of a wedding

How to get out of a wedding

Postby wanderlust » Tue Feb 05, 2013 9:27 am

I graduated with this girl who I had taken 3 classes with and always came to hang out at my house during our last semester before graduation. I wasn't actually close to her, but I appreciated having someone to hang out with. She asked me if I wanted to be in her wedding a few months ago and I agreed. Now, she moved and lives an hour away. So, not only am I finding out that I need to pay for the bridesmaid dress (thankfully only $130 with the discount) but the gas to get to rehearsals, bachelorette parties, matching shoes, and getting my hair done. It's just turning out to be a whole lot of money to invest in someone that I'm not even close friends with.

Here's the thing...how the heck do I say that I don't want to spend that much money for something that I'm not too crazy about doing? I can think of a lot of different ways I'd rather spend that money even though I think it would be a fun experience being in a wedding. Even if I somehow figure out a way to get out of it, I'm guessing she's going to offer to pay for things, which would be both awkward and embarrassing because the fact is, I can scrounge up the money, but I'd rather do other things.

Any suggestions?
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Re: How to get out of a wedding

Postby Guest » Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:58 pm

Okay, so it seems like you know you can afford it BUT you don't want to waste your money since you are feeling uncomfortable about the situation...(for whatever reason)

I would either...
A- Figure out what would make you more comfortable with the situation. Could you bring a friend or date with you? It seems like since she is more of an acquaintance to you than friend, that maybe you are having anxiety over not knowing anyone there? Don't want to make all those drives alone? Maybe express this to her and see what she says... who knows, there may be others carpooling there or having to do the same thing you are doing and want a buddy.
B- Lie and make up an excuse. I wouldn't advise this, but sometimes it just is the best way to go. Do you have work or a project to do? Or you could slightly bend the truth, explaining how it is inconvenient to keep going back and forth an hour or two a day. You could explain that when you agreed, you didn't know she would be moving.
C- Offer a replacement? Backing out might leave her with some difficulties in her plans, offer to help, maybe, like all day one day instead of the constant back and forthness.
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Re: How to get out of a wedding

Postby wanderlust » Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:55 am

I let her know last week that financially I couldn't really afford it right now. She was nice about it but the friendship sort of came to an end soon afterward, which was really my fault. Thanks for the advice, though.
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How to get out of a wedding

Postby MathewGop » Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:24 pm

since my first cruise at the age of 6, ive always dreamed of my wedding being onboard the first night, and the rest of the cruise being our honeymoon. im only 17 so it will be a while til i get married lol
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