Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

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kathleenlightsssss
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Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by kathleenlightsssss »

OK so... before getting married, I had my own room, slept alone for years- no pets, no noise, no body... now being married offiially for a solid year, I still cannot adjust to someone next to me. Don't get me wrong, when we first wed (and even dating) I could sleep well next to him, in fact, I used to sleep better. But lately, I sense his every move, not to mention the flailing arms and legs mid-night wake me up and it's annoying. He also gets up 4 or 5 times a night to pee.... :? and drinks a lot before bed. He "gets thirsty" he says explaining the full glass of water by his bed. But when he comes back from the bathroom he doesn't gracefully sidle back in under the sheets it's much more of a disruptive jostle.. not to mention his 5:30 AM alarm for work. I know it must sound selfish, but i miss those days (I long for those days) when I would get up with my own alarm clock for work (much more reasonable time of 8am) and/or just sleep in on the weekends until my body was well rested and awoke on its own. Even on the weekends, he can't sleep past 7.. :| but he insists on coming back to bed to be on his phone and it's annoying. How do I address this in the kindest of ways? Why can't he get up and go to the guest room (no bed in there but a roomy recliner) or couch downstairs and be on his phone instead? I'm seriously thinking of buying a small daybed for my office to go to on unbearable nights/mornings where he doesn't let me sleep.. :?

Also, he wants kids. If I get pregnant, I need my rest/sleep. Would that move him out of the room?
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Re: Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by MurkyandLurky »

Welcome to the married life! I had a similar issue as well. I bascially got right to the point and told him he needs to quit the annoying bedtime habits. So he stopped being on his phone with the bright screen while I was trying to sleep. If he wanted to be on his phone longer than a minute, he needed to move to the couch downstairs. If I were you, I'd tell your husband to work on his hydration during the day rather than saving it right before bedtime. It's annoying for both you (and Im sure him) for him to be getting in and out of bed to pee. When I had trouble sleeping I always kept a fan blowing on me. I found it soothing and the sound sort of masked out the noises of him fidgeting in the night. Hope this helps!

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Re: Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by kathleenlightsssss »

Thanks! Some good tips. he knows i hate getting woken up, and I can't imagine him sleeping well either, what with all the getting up multiple times... :|

unfortunately, the drinking before bed and during, is a habit he has had as a kid.. i don't know if he can break it. i purposely don't drink before bed so I won't wake up to pee :rofl: :lol:

Married life should incude separate beds, I wish.. secret to a long lasting marriage if you ask me! :tu:
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Re: Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by manu_voo »

What's keeping you from getting a separate bed to sleep in? A lot of couples do that for different reasons and it really makes their marriage better.

Although from your other thread it seems like you're just over him 100%. Is it possible for you to get a job and work towards financial independece? Or is there someone you can move in with (family, friends, roommate?).

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Re: Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by kathleenlightsssss »

manu_voo wrote:What's keeping you from getting a separate bed to sleep in? A lot of couples do that for different reasons and it really makes their marriage better.

Although from your other thread it seems like you're just over him 100%. Is it possible for you to get a job and work towards financial independece? Or is there someone you can move in with (family, friends, roommate?).
I think it's just that he wants me there next to him. I would 100% prefer my own bed and room... but unfortunately the 2 spare bedrooms were made into my beauty room and the other his mancave- no room for any beds..
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Re: Married and Sleepless! Needs HELP!

Post by kathleenlightsssss »

Oooh and I can't read next to him, the light bothers him.

I can't move- that bothers him too... oh but he can move, constantly, and it really disrupts my sleep. It sucks... :|
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