ANy Military Spouses? How to deal with deployment

Post by **geddid togethur** » Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:27 am

Hey guiseeee, my boyfriend is a military member of the AF and we are dating for a year now.
In the end of January he will have to go to a deployment for 4-6 months to an arabian country. I wont go into detail because I dont know how much I'm allowed to share.
Anyway, since he told me I'm completely devastated and just feel like everything is falling apart. I was supposed to move in with him in the end of June (long distance relationship) after I graduate, now we don't even know if he will be there by that time.

I just wanted to hear if there are any other military spouses here that maybe can give me some tips how they dealt with it. I looked on google but I feel like all those advice pages are just like "PRAISE YER MAN FOR BEING IN THE MILITARY, BE HAPPY TO BE AN ACCESSOIRE TO A MILITARY MEMBER!"
Of course I admire him for being in the military, but that doesn't make those people saints.

So, people with real feelings, how did it make you feel when you went through deployment? What did it do to your relationship?

Post by **kaylie27** » Fri Nov 07, 2014 7:51 am

I dont have a significant other in the military, but my brother in law was in the military and was gone for a year while my sister in law was pregnant. Will you be able to communicate with him while he is away?

Post by **geddid togethur** » Fri Nov 07, 2014 10:31 am

He probably will have internet there.
He is not working as a soldier, he has a less dangerous job you could say, yet I'm obviously worried as fuck.

Post by **kittymeows** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 12:22 pm

Hello,

My SO is navy and from Jan - July this year was deployed in the middle east, i also felt like everything was falling apart and we had talked about moving in together so rather similar in a way to your situation!

Obviously all those sites you have found tell you to praise them blablabla but that isnt helpful for you personally, I will say it is hard when they are away but you will fall into a routine and get used to it. Horrible as it sounds but you will go on without him. Especially if you are used to not being with him 24.7 as in a long distance relationship!

My OH had good internet access so got to email as much as he could and they got a 30 min phonecall a week which when it worked it was good. I had a countdown app on my phone called 'doing time' which i found helped as could count in % of them being away but some swore against it!

Keep yourself busy as you can whilst he is away and don't forget to live your own life otherwise it will send you crazy, if you have work/school/whatever throw yourself into it, or see about getting hobbies. If you are able to send parcels to him that can be fun going out and looking for bits and pieces to put in them too!

Some people say they are different when they return/relationship has changed but I didn't see too much of a change, they need time to get back into a home routine rather than what they live when deployed but most settle back in pretty quickly, also if there is the chance join a facebook page, they had one for my OH specific ship which all the wives/girlfriends could chat an arrange to meet up and that sort of thing, i found that really to help!

Sorry to blab on so much but feel free to PM or ask anything as I have just said as much as can think off on the top of my head! You can do it though

Post by **moonlightbae** » Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:16 am

My boyfriend is in the army and every time he goes away it is a drag. If you ever need anyone to talk too while he's away, you can always send me a message!

My advice is to keep busy, working, school or hobbies are a great way to distract yourself.. My boyfriend will be going away this year around the time i'm due to give birth so i'm really worried he won't be here! I'm so desperate to find something to distract me! haha, more advice is welcome!!

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