Would it be awkward for a 20 & 26 years old to marry?

[iRawr]

Note: I'm not 20, nor 26. I just have my reasons for asking this. Which I may bring up sometime, but for now, I just wanted to know your opinions on this subject.

I realize everybody's situations are different. And most people would find it normal for a 20 years old girl to marry a 26 years old guy. But what if it had been the other way 'round?

If the guy was mature enough to take up the responsibility of a marriage, be committed, be mature - would it have still been very awkward and disturbing?

[Nixie]

I think if someone gets stuck on their age and their SO's age, they're just not mature enough to marry.

I also think that whoever judges that marriage because of the bride and groom's age, here being that the bride is older by six years, either has really good reasons to judge and just uses age as a shield, or is not worthy of being in the bride and groom's life.

All in all, maturity often has nothing to do with age. If someone worries, they don't have the necessary maturity themselves.

[BellaJane]

I think if someone gets stuck on their age and their SO's age, they're just not mature enough to marry.

I also think that whoever judges that marriage because of the bride and groom's age, here being that the bride is older by six years, either has really good reasons to judge and just uses age as a shield, or is not worthy of being in the bride and groom's life.

All in all, maturity often has nothing to do with age. If someone worries, they don't have the necessary maturity themselves.

Agreed. I don't understand the fixation with marriage ages, to be honest. When it comes to marriage, it's not about you or me or anybody else. If they think they're ready/mature/in love enough to get married...well then that's all there is to it. What anybody else thinks really doesn't matter. I personally couldn't imagine having been married at 20, but maybe I could be at 26. But I have friends who were married at 17-18 and friends who were married at 35...and it worked for them either way. I don't think it's necessarily about ages, it's about being mature enough to make that decision and about meeting the right person and being sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. And that's a big decision particularly when you're younger because younger folks typically lack the life experiences that older folks have. So while at 20 years old you may *think* you've met the love of your life...the real love of your life could be popping up when you're 28, you know? But I suppose that's partially the reason that the divorce rate is 50%...because regardless of how in love you are or how mature you are or how committed you are...5 or 10 or even 20 years down the road that could change completely. But that really has little to do with age anyway.

I am curious about something. You seem to be taking pains to defend the 'hypothetical' man in this situation, but still questioning the decision to get married. And I'm curious as to why you seem to think it would be awkward? Just because of his age in comparison to hers? Or their ages in general? Or is there something else here that you're concerned about?

I don't say this to be rude or condescending and I don't want you to take offense to my asking...but you did create a similar thread on another board just yesterday, so I'm wondering if there is a specific reason you're asking these questions or if you're having an issue with a specific person's decision to get married...lol there's something on your mind to make you ask these hypothetical questions.

[nothinggold]

I think if someone gets stuck on their age and their SO's age, they're just not mature enough to marry.

I also think that whoever judges that marriage because of the bride and groom's age, here being that the bride is older by six years, either has really good reasons to judge and just uses age as a shield, or is not worthy of being in the bride and groom's life.

All in all, maturity often has nothing to do with age. If someone worries, they don't have the necessary maturity themselves.

Agreed. I don't understand the fixation with marriage ages, to be honest. When it comes to marriage, it's not about you or me or anybody else. If they think they're ready/mature/in love enough to get married...well then that's all there is to it. What anybody else thinks really doesn't matter. I personally couldn't imagine having been married at 20, but maybe I could be at 26. But I have friends who were married at 17-18 and friends who were married at 35...and it worked for them either way. I don't think it's necessarily about ages, it's about being mature enough to make that decision and about meeting the right person and being sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. And that's a big decision particularly when you're younger because younger folks typically lack the life experiences that older folks have. So while at 20 years old you may *think* you've met the love of your life...the real love of your life could be popping up when you're 28, you know? But I suppose that's partially the reason that the divorce rate is 50%...because regardless of how in love you are or how mature you are or how committed you are...5 or 10 or even 20 years down the road that could change completely. But that really has little to do with age anyway.

I am curious about something. You seem to be taking pains to defend the 'hypothetical' man in this situation, but still questioning the decision to get married. And I'm curious as to why you seem to think it would be awkward? Just because of his age in comparison to hers? Or their ages in general? Or is there something else here that you're concerned about?

I don't say this to be rude or condescending and I don't want you to take offense to my asking...but you did create a similar thread on another board just yesterday, so I'm wondering if there is a specific reason you're asking these questions or if you're having an issue with a specific person's decision to get married...lol there's something on your mind to make you ask these hypothetical questions.

I agree with you both. I don't think it's practical to like say in all cases that it'd be weird because the success of a marriage depends on the couple themselves, not their ages. I dont think it would be my place to judge them, either.
As somebody who is 20 and dating somebody who is 25 I don't think it would be like super scandalous and crazy if we got married. We're not going to and are no where near close to marriage but I don't think if we did the world would gasp.
If you're worried about a friend, I would tell them your opinion respectfully and be prepared for them to ignore it or disagree. As a friend, after offering your opinion, sit back, shut up, and just respect your friend. If it goes south, be there to support but don't say I told you so. If it goes well, be there to smile and be happy for your friend or at least act happy.

[iRawr]

I think if someone gets stuck on their age and their SO's age, they're just not mature enough to marry.

I also think that whoever judges that marriage because of the bride and groom's age, here being that the bride is older by six years, either has really good reasons to judge and just uses age as a shield, or is not worthy of being in the bride and groom's life.

All in all, maturity often has nothing to do with age. If someone worries, they don't have the necessary maturity themselves.

Agreed. I don't understand the fixation with marriage ages, to be honest. When it comes to marriage, it's not about you or me or anybody else. If they think they're ready/mature/in love enough to get married...well then that's all there is to it. What anybody else thinks really doesn't matter. I personally couldn't imagine having been married at 20, but maybe I could be at 26. But I have friends who were married at 17-18 and friends who were married at 35...and it worked for them either way. I don't think it's necessarily about ages, it's about being mature enough to make that decision and about meeting the right person and being sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. And that's a big decision particularly when you're younger because younger folks typically lack the life experiences that older folks have. So while at 20 years old you may *think* you've met the love of your life...the real love of your life could be popping up when you're 28, you know? But I suppose that's partially the reason that the divorce rate is 50%...because regardless of how in love you are or how mature you are or how committed you are...5 or 10 or even 20 years down the road that could change completely. But that really has little to do with age anyway.

I am curious about something. You seem to be taking pains to defend the 'hypothetical' man in this situation, but still questioning the decision to get married. And I'm curious as to why you seem to think it would be awkward? Just because of his age in comparison to hers? Or their ages in general? Or is there something else here that you're concerned about?

I don't say this to be rude or condescending and I don't want you to take offense to my asking...but you did create a similar thread on another board just yesterday, so I'm wondering if there is a specific reason you're asking these questions or if you're having an issue with a specific person's decision to get married...lol there's something on your mind to make you ask these hypothetical questions.

Wow, you actually clocked on. XD And nope, I'm not taking offense at all! That thread didn't really have much to do with this one, but you're right - a certain situation has triggered me to seek for opinions. I've always thought that the majority of people would look down upon the idea of a 20 years old guy marrying a 26 years old girl - regardless of how in love, and mature they are. People usually frown upon the idea of the guy being the younger one. And even though the couple would have no regrets of having taken that decision, those negative remarks might still affect / hurt them. Especially if it is coming from the family.

Would you mind me pm'ing you about it instead, sometime?

Overall, I agree with you girlies.

[BellaJane]

Wow, you actually clocked on. XD And nope, I'm not taking offense at all! That thread didn't really have much to do with this one, but you're right - a certain situation has triggered me to seek for opinions. I've always thought that the majority of people would look down upon the idea of a 20 years old guy marrying a 26 years old girl - regardless of how in love, and mature they are. People usually frown upon the idea of the guy being the younger one. And even though the couple would have no regrets of having taken that decision, those negative remarks might still affect / hurt them. Especially if it is coming from the family.

Would you mind me pm'ing you about it instead, sometime?

Overall, I agree with you girlies.

By all means, if you need to talk feel free

I think oftentimes people can be skeptical about the man in the relationship being younger, but that's just a social stigma...simply because it's not traditional. As much as we like to say we're a progressive civilization and whatnot, there are certain things that people still hang on to. But all in all age really is one of the least important factors in an (adult) relationship. And it gets less and less important the older we get. And eventually people will get past it.

[Meowface]

I really don't understand how people could be so fixated on age. If the people are happy/in love/ know the commitment they are making it really doesn't matter what other people think.
The only people in the relationship are the two people (unless you are into the multiple spouse thing) However.. point being that parents, siblings and other family aren't living the relationship. They don't want the same things out of life they don't love the same things. So if these hypothetical people are happy then I don't see how awkwardness factors into it.

I'm married and I married quite young to my husband who is older than me, it really doesn't make a difference to how much we love each other.

[lemondrop]

iRawr you seem to be posting some pretty insecure question, one can only assume these threads are your own personal problems.

To the OP, you can get married at 16 here.. most people don't though. Being so fixated on age when one is past the age of consent seems a bit immature to be honest. You can be mature and comfortable in your relationship to have a marriage or civil partnership at 16, you might not be comfortable or mature enough at 40.

Basically age is somewhat irrelevant, what matters is that you feel mature enough to handle being essentially legally tied to someone and feel that your relationship has some longevity and that you and your partner love each other.

From your previous thread it seems like your partner is making you feel insecure in yourself and that you are not fully comfortable in your relationship as it stands, marriage wont make these flaws vanish.

[iRawr]

iRawr you seem to be posting some pretty insecure question, one can only assume these threads are your own personal problems.

To the OP, you can get married at 16 here.. most people don't though. Being so fixated on age when one is past the age of consent seems a bit immature to be honest. You can be mature and comfortable in your relationship to have a marriage or civil partnership at 16, you might not be comfortable or mature enough at 40.

Basically age is somewhat irrelevant, what matters is that you feel mature enough to handle being essentially legally tied to someone and feel that your relationship has some longevity and that you and your partner love each other.

From your previous thread it seems like your partner is making you feel insecure in yourself and that you are not fully comfortable in your relationship as it stands, marriage wont make these flaws vanish.

Erm, which threads are you referring to? This is the only thread that is related to my own personal problem, which I have already mentioned in a previous post. The previous thread "How would you feel about your boyfriend pointing out your flaws" had absolutely nothing to do with my relationship lol. Nor would I be stupid enough to believe that 'marriage' would make any 'flaws' vanish, that wouldn't make any sense (the problems that are present before marriage won't magically disappear after it). I'd have to be brain dead to even think of marrying such a guy, that makes me feel insecure rather than confident. I wouldn't even have been with one for long, to begin with.

If a certain thread is related to my own problem, I'd have no problem just saying (typing) it out loud. I don't see any 'insecure' questions asked by me. This one could be considered as an insecure one, though..

Also, not trying to get all 'defensive', just clearing that one up. XD But thank you for your input! Makes a difference.

@l'enqueteur: I shall soonish! Thank you. =)

Thank you girlies for taking your time to share your helpful opinions.

[Decayedbeauty]

why anyone would get married in this day and age at 20 or even 26 is beyond me. Live alittle.

[iRawr]

why anyone would get married in this day and age at 20 or even 26 is beyond me. Live alittle.

How does getting married hold anybody back from living / enjoying life? I have 2 female friends that had gotten married at the age of 18, and are still enjoying life just as much (probably more) as they did whilst being unmarried. Hanging with friends, travelling around, etc etc. I guess another reason would be that some people wouldn't want to have sex before marriage, and are afraid of giving into temptations - so the couple would just decide to get married as long as they feel they are right for each other. It all comes down to what we'd personally want though.

[Sonia]

why anyone would get married in this day and age at 20 or even 26 is beyond me. Live alittle.

So you can't "live" while being in a committed relationship...?

[whoa]

why anyone would get married in this day and age at 20 or even 26 is beyond me. Live alittle.

You can live just as much married as you can single. Signing a piece of paper and saying some vows doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore.

[xxstrawberry]

why anyone would get married in this day and age at 20 or even 26 is beyond me. Live alittle.

So having a commitment to a single person keeps you from living?

[Meowface]

I got married at 18.
I'm living and happy. I'm in a happy committed and secure place. I go out with friends, I go out with my husband. We go on holidays together, we live. I am fortunate to have found someone who I want to spend my life with.

How exactly do you define living?

[Angie V]

It depends. If he is mature and knows what he wants in life then sure, but besides the age, the stages in life between age 20 and 26 can be so vastly different that it might be a mistake. 20 is still college age (undergrad). 26 is way beyond that. That's how I look at it anyway. I'm 22 and a senior in undergrad, and the guys who are younger than I am at school are just at different levels in life than I am. But the older you get, the less age matters because life stages start to merge. Idk if that makes sense.