Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

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bebexo+
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Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by bebexo+ »

I've always been curious about how people are able to date someone who cheated on their previous partner and has it ever turned out okay? How anxious do you feel or do you feel it at all?
One of my close friends is seeing someone who previously cheated on his ex... she admits that she feels awkward about his past but she's willing to try and i find myself unable to give her any advice :O

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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by God »

I know people can change, but I wouldn't. Cheating is horrible, it fucks up your self worth, confidence and trust.

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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by sunnygossip »

i did, and i would never do it again. sorry to be the pessimist here.

there were moments during our six year relationship i could tell he was shaky about staying faithful, but he was (as far as i know).
when he decided he was over it though, he just cheated on me and avoided me instead of breaking up with me to make me feel like i was the crazy one.

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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by Layla0606 »

I've never done it, no. I know a girl who is dating a guy who she hooked up with at a party while he still had a gf. Then he broke up w the girlfriend and immediately got together with this girl i know. now they are a happy couple madly in love.. Don't know what to think about it, I would definitely not do anything like this but so far it's working for them. They've been together 1 year or so now. Then again I am not close to them so I don't know much about how good their relationship is, everyone's always in perfect relationships on social media but that doesn't mean a thing
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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by God »

sunnygossip wrote:i did, and i would never do it again. sorry to be the pessimist here.

there were moments during our six year relationship i could tell he was shaky about staying faithful, but he was (as far as i know).
when he decided he was over it though, he just cheated on me and avoided me instead of breaking up with me to make me feel like i was the crazy one.
I am so sorry you had to go through that, nobody deserves it. i hope everything’s okay now.


with cheaters you never know, it’s so tricky. they’re most likely to cheat on you, or they might just stay loyal. but then again, a non-cheater can become a cheater, right? you’re gonna have to carefully look for red flags and run away if you find any.

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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by too_curious »

My current boyfriend cheated on his ex with me, but I didn't know. He had told me that they broke up 3 months before he met me, but in reality the overlap between the relationships was two weeks. When I found out, I made him write her a letter explaining his actions and go to therapy to figure out why he feels the need to lie. I also told him that if he ever lied to me again the relationship would be over. I've now been with him for over a year and we live together. Although it was wrong for him to cheat, she gaslighted him into believing that he couldn't be compatible with anyone else. I understand why he did it and I do think that the reason behind the cheating can make a difference, and how long the cheating lasts.

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Re: Have you ever dated someone who cheated on their ex?

Post by iggidoo »

I have been the other side - I was the cheater. Please don't hate on me, sharing isn't as easy as it is to judge.

I was only about 20, it was my first relationship and I was well and truly over it, but too weak and didn't have the balls to end the relationship. Wanted my cake and to eat it too. Dead selfish. I am not going to say I regret it per se because I don't believe in regrets, and he did not find out as I did break up with him after it happened; but I do regret the fact that I did not end things with him when I should have because it led to me being able to move on faster than I should have and therefore caused him unnecessary pain. I was young, stupid and naive and I thought only about myself and how I felt throughout the whole situation. Knew the pain I was causing but I was too self absorbed to care.

I do believe though that me being female has meant that maybe I have learnt from my past a bit more as I am ashamed of my younger behaviour and I do wish it didn't take that experience for me to learn about myself within a relationship. But I have learnt that I am self centred and insecure, and I need to work on ways that I don't allow that to impact my relationships or my self worth, as a lot of the time self worth comes into it. In saying that, many people have different reasons to stray and I would need to know that my partner had moved forward and learnt enough from their previous behaviour for me to trust them.

I've had long term relationships since and I have never cheated, nor been close. The first experience allowed me to recognise where it was that I was feeling unappreciated or having relationship issues causing me to look elsewhere and determine the difference between that and me falling out of love with the person. I hope that makes sense. I have since always respected my partners enough to end things when I recognised they needed to be ended, and work on it where it was the case too.

Please don't argue or disagree with me or anything, this was simply my own experience and I will be the first to put my hand up to admit to my failings and how awful behaviour it is. There is no excuse for it, there are simply learnings from the behaviour so as to not do it again. I think for your friends you need to ensure that the other person has learnt enough from their previous behaviour so as to not do it again, and if you are going to be with them you have to trust them. Otherwise your insecurities will tear you apart.

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