House rules with boyfriend?

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india28
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House rules with boyfriend?

Post by india28 » Tue May 10, 2016 8:17 am

Hoping for a bit of advice with this...

Will be renting a flat together with my boyfriend in a few months and we have all of our finances sorted out so good to go with all of that. Will be sharing an account for bills and keeping our savings separate. However, wondering if those of you who have moved in with your other half made house rules before you moved in together? (Or if you haven't yet, would you?)

We both do things that get on each other's nerves which is understandable, but he can be a little unclean at times (not washing dishes properly, not cleaning out shower after using, dirty clothes everywhere etc) and I know this is going to be something that will get to me if it isn't cleared up from the beginning.

Is it okay to make house rules with your boyfriend/girlfriend? I feel like it is very roommate/student like, don't want our relationship to feel as though it has set rules as soon as we move in together.

If you do think it is okay, let me know of any other house rule ideas you have please!

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Re: House rules with boyfriend?

Post by greenariana1 » Tue May 10, 2016 9:11 am

I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend about a year ago and we definitely laid out some ground rules. I suggest making and sticking to a budget and arranging cleaning schedules but of course things don't always go as planned lol. Just be open and honest and communicate. My biggest problem is getting overwhelmed with housework on top of working and going to school but not mentioning to my boyfriend how stressed I was until I broke down! But it's been an amazing year and it's made us learn a lot. Just take it one day at a time


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UsedToLoveThem
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Re: House rules with boyfriend?

Post by UsedToLoveThem » Tue May 10, 2016 12:11 pm

I agree with greenariana1! It may feel strange to set some ground rules but otherwise you will be on each others throats in no time. Schedules are your best friend in this because if you both agreed to make a schedule and stick with it you can't blame each other for unclean dishes and unwashed clothes because the thing clearly said who was supposed to do what and when.
It may feel weird but believe me, discussing schedules is the thing that keeps many great relationships relatively houshold related quarrel free. :)

Some men also expect you to take the role of their mum and keep house on your own on top of all of your responsibilities because you are the woman. They will give you bullshit about cleaning e.g. doing things wrong or not properly on purpose because it's oooooh sooo difficult. If he ever pulls the card of being unable to do it properly do not fall for it and teach him time and time again until he learned his lesson ;-) Using a washing machine, washing dishes, grocery shopping or cleaning a toilet is no different to a man than it is to a woman!
It's usually the kind of man that "is a little unclean" that tries this kind of stuff, so never in life fall for it.

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Re: House rules with boyfriend?

Post by Pastel » Tue May 10, 2016 12:57 pm

I agree with the others. I don't think you necessariliy have to make rules or schedules specifically, but you definitely have to talk about your expectations before you move in together. Talk about what you need, and then figure out what works best for you as a couple. For some people it might be easier to have certain tasks each, and for others it might make more sense to take turns.

Also, schedules might be a good way to make him feel like he has some responsibility too. Especially if he's a bit messy.
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Re: House rules with boyfriend?

Post by staedtler » Tue May 10, 2016 10:14 pm

One thing we did was set aside 1 morning a week to do a proper clean (scrubbing the bathroom, communal laundry such as sheets and towel, cleaning kitchen) it was a small place so it didn't take long. I absolutely refuse to do extra cleaning because I have better things to do, my bf on the other hand wants things organized and neat. Obviously small things like dishes and rinsing the shower/tub got done everyday. Sometimes if he is busy, I would do it for him but I won't make it a regular thing. He does the same for me during my finals. We also like to breakup tasks. When one is cooking, the other will clean up after eating. Someone sorts out the laundry, the other will put it away. He dusts I vacuum that sort of thing.

I would also say, please don't nag excessively, I hate it when my bf does it, it makes me feel like absolute shit. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, don't fight over something small and ridiculous.

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Re: House rules with boyfriend?

Post by jtbi98 » Wed May 11, 2016 5:55 am

Definitely figure out some kins of cleaning "plan" that works for both of you, especially if you're renting and are going to be having inspections. Its so much easier keeping the place moderately clean all the time and just having a small amount of extra work around inspections rather than living in a messy house for 3 months and having a last minute rush the day before the inspection.

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