Dating a compulsive/pathological liar

Post by **FairyPrincess** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 2:42 am

My boyfriend of several months is a compulsive liar. He admitted to me that he was a compulsive liar after I confronted him about several of the things he told me not adding up. His lies are mostly insignificant and I am not usually bothered by them. When they have bothered me, we have discussed them at length. I know that pathological lying is a complicated issue and I'm not seeking to change his ways but rather learn any tips from others who have been in successful relationships with a compulsive liar. I have a great deal of respect for myself and if this started to heavily affect me I would end the relationship. So I have a few questions if anybody is willing to answer:
Have you ever dated a compulsive liar? Was it successful?
What is the best way to call out his lies? I try not to be too aggressive about it but rather ask more questions to suss out if something was in fact a lie.
Where would you draw the line? - i.e if he starts lying to me about _____ it's time to give up.
Any general tips would be greatly appreciated.

Post by **auntiflo13** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 7:18 am

Lying is like a defence mechanism - I think it stems from childhood....I know because my other half is a compulsive liar too. I'll say to him 'are you going to clean the rabbit hutches today?' and he'll reply "I have no wood shavings".....I go to check and there's about 10kg of wood shavings.... !!!! I think that is due to sheer laziness though !x

Post by **FairyPrincess** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 3:12 pm

Thanks for replying! Does he ever lie about any hurtful things? How do you manage to not get mad when he lies?

Post by **delilahdots** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:38 pm

I dated a guy who done stuff like that for example, I'd ask him what he doing and he'd say he was in Tesco but he'd have actually been at work? Like really weird things to lie about. We broke up because we drifted apart....funny thing is he's now dating someone he constantly bad mouthed to me...

I think it depends what they lie about and why? I think sometimes it's better to walk them through it or as much as possible correct them with a rhetorical question (if that makes sense)

Any lying about other girls is a bit no no like I'd think they were hiding something and lying about drugs or alcohol as well.

Post by **FairyPrincess** » Thu Apr 14, 2016 1:30 am

Thanks for replying! That's kind of like the stuff he lies about to, no real reason behind it but I guess it's entertaining for him.

Post by **auntiflo13** » Thu Apr 14, 2016 3:57 am

FairyPrincess wrote:Thanks for replying! Does he ever lie about any hurtful things? How do you manage to not get mad when he lies?

I count to ten and put up with it basically.... he's really loyal and loving. When he was growing up , he was an only child for the best part of 9 years...then his two younger brothers came along in quick succession. He often babysat for his two younger brothers and he got into trouble himself even if it was one of his brothers that had misbehaved.... his parents said he was responsible for their care whilst they were at work ...so if any of the brothers broke something...my hubby would end up being the one in trouble. So, over the years, he's become adept at lying....to protect himself I suppose. He never says anything hurtful or anything like that... if it involves any type of DIY around the house, he's bloomin' good at making excuses/lying....x

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