PLEASE HELP ME

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lovinglyssa
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PLEASE HELP ME

Post by lovinglyssa » Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:02 pm

ok. .so this is going to be very hard for me to write out.. i dont have any friends that i can talk toabout this.. its about my boyfriend and i.. we've been together for 2 years and the last year hasnt been very easy. for the first year of our relationship he was all about me and it seemed like he always wanted me around, always wanted to talk to me, and would do anything to see me.. well after dating for about 6 months he really wanted me to move in with him so i did.. and it went downhill from there. we have a lot of bad days and right now its especially hard for us.. i have been screwed over many times by past exes so he gets very angry when i question him. especially when hes leaving the house or about who hes texting. i dont ever get to see his phone but if i ask who hes texting or what hes looking at he will show me or tell me. we got in a huge argument this past weekend because he wanted to go out friday night with a friend of his who i know and i asked to go with him .he said no and just wanted a guys night so i got upset. this started it all. at the beginning of our relationship he would take me everythwere with him no matter what friends he was with but now its completely changed. he goes out probably twice a month which isnt alot so i try not to give him a hard time about when he does go out.. but in this case i couldnt see a reason as to why i couldnt tag along with him.. especially since we wouldnt be spending sunday together. i had plans with my fam and he had plans with his friends again.. well he ended up getting so upset on friday night and practically broke up with me, he ended up leaving very upset with me and said we can talk when hes ready to talk. well fast forwar dto saturday i had plans with a friend and so i left. i get home and hes not home, he got home around930 pm and we stil ldidnt talk. fast forward to sunday we both left around noon to go do our own thing. i was trying not to bug him because when my bf gets mad he just likes to be left alone. but our fights never last more than a day so this time was different. i ended up texting him a long sorry message and he said we can talk after the superbowl. so i go home eager to talk after it and he isnt home.. he wouldnt answer my calls but he was texting me back. he wouldnt tell me what time he would be home. i fell asleep around midnihgt and woke up at 2am and he stil lwasnt home. at this point i was very upset and began calling numerous times. he didnt answer or repsond to my texts so i was very worried thinking the worst since i knew he was drinking that day and had to drive home. i told him to cal lme or an uber if he needs one but my bf wil lnever admit he needs help.. yes i know its very dangerous to drink and drive so please dont get mad at me for it.. i tell him al lthe time he shouldnt do it. well anyways i drove around the area where his friend lives, i dont know the exact house it is but i know the neighborhood and i ended up finding him! he was driving down the street already on the way home so i followed him home. we get home and hes upset once again that iwent out looking for him , but i did it because i thought something bad happened to him. it was not very late and we bot hhad work i nthe morning so he says we will talk monday. monday comes and we talked but now how i wanted it to be. he basically said i need to stop nagging him when he leaves stop being so nosy, etc. which i understand because i am dramatic sometimes. but now its tuesday and i just noticed he has what looks like a hickey on his neck!! i immediately asked him about it and he said "what are you talking about" and i was like you have a hickey on your neck and he said theres no way he has a hickey. so i gave him a mirror and he said it must be from shaving because thats the only thing he can think of. we were away from eachother friday,saturday ,and sunday so im worried it might actually be a hickey.. i trust him but i know he wasnt very happy with me and he had been drinking.. so im of course always thinking the worst. should i believe him and just move on? or try to investigate further. keep in mind my bf hates being questioned and gets mad when i accuse him of things or ask to many questons which makes me feel like he could be hiding something.. but then again.. were with eachother almost al lthe time so theres no way he would have time for a side chick.. but the spot on his neck worries me.. any advice? i trust hiim but ive trusted others in the past too.. just need an outsiders persective..

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Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Post by bloomingpeony » Tue Feb 09, 2016 11:24 pm

I think you should talk to him anyway even if he hates it so what? lol if he wants it to work out then he'll let you ask anything. your situation sounds familiar, the guy would always avoid questioning because he was cheating (not saying that's the case with you) and he used to compliment her a lot then started to insult her all the time (from his guilt). anyway always trust your gut! try not to accuse (pin point) him of anything, rather than think of other ways to question him (and possibly, catch him out in his lies if that's the case). either way, it doesn't sound healthy the relationship you're in. you can't really move on if you didn't resolve anything and you still have doubts?

lovinglyssa
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Post by lovinglyssa » Wed Feb 10, 2016 10:03 am

yeah its pretty annoying trying to talk to him about arguments because he always says to just leave it alone and move on. it doesnt give me much closure or reassurance. im going to keep doing my investigating on the back end and will attempt totalk to him about it again and see what he says. im hoping it really is just a shaving mark..

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PecanPancakes
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Post by PecanPancakes » Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:45 am

Communication is key to any relationship. Honesty holds that relationship together. Men naturally don't talk about their feelings like us women but if he is in love with you and you him, why put you through this? Why are you the one worried about him not making it home? Does he reciprocate that same care for you? Would he be out looking for you? For myself, if I couldn't ask a question to someone I am living with then I would have a very hard time with that type of relationship. Good luck to you.

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Layla0606
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Post by Layla0606 » Fri Feb 12, 2016 9:17 am

hmm tough situation, my advice comes from a quote thing that says:
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I did it all the time when I was in a relationship. If he didn't have anything to hide, he wouldn't have a hard time talking to you /answering your questions.
what he does is disrespectful. know your worth, girl!
I'm not saying he is not worth further investigation, I would defo do that if I were you, but at the first definite sign of cheating or something, you gotta move away from his BS.
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