Bullshit you've been through with boys/ dating

[ECH]

I'm just getting so much shit from him at the moment because of my depression. He keeps calling me crazy and saying that I'm clearly only pulling stuff for attention, totally ignoring the fact that I have an actual issue and I only went to him to talk about it because I felt like he would have cared and tried to support me.

[angelaj0921]

Today has been a sucky, sucky day. Work was terrible, and after that I basically got dumped. The guy told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't let him get physical enough with me. He said he's ok with not having sex with me, but he wants to do everything else with me. And, let me just say we've done a lot of things, and we do fool around, but yeah there are certain things that we don't do because I'm not comfortable with that. It's only been a month and he said he's tired of waiting so he's moving on. And, he's upset because he said he could have been dating other girls that would let him fool around with them or have sex with them.

I'm pretty upset because all my fears of never finding a guy because of my standards are coming true. I just knew this would happen, and that's why I've been so closed off and insecure when it comes to men. I know that most of them expect certain things to happen and if I can't give that to them, they won't want to be with me. I just don't know what to do. I'm sad and frustrated, and there's nothing I can do to change it. This sucks!

[wanderer]

Today has been a sucky, sucky day. Work was terrible, and after that I basically got dumped. The guy told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't let him get physical enough with me. He said he's ok with not having sex with me, but he wants to do everything else with me. And, let me just say we've done a lot of things, and we do fool around, but yeah there are certain things that we don't do because I'm not comfortable with that. It's only been a month and he said he's tired of waiting so he's moving on. And, he's upset because he said he could have been dating other girls that would let him fool around with them or have sex with them.

I'm pretty upset because all my fears of never finding a guy because of my standards are coming true. I just knew this would happen, and that's why I've been so closed off and insecure when it comes to men. I know that most of them expect certain things to happen and if I can't give that to them, they won't want to be with me. I just don't know what to do. I'm sad and frustrated, and there's nothing I can do to change it. This sucks!

Taking a relationship at your own pace/ doing what is comfortable for you, has nothing to do with standards. That is something you should not compromise. Be with someone who will respect that. By reading your previous posts (presumably about this guy) the problem isn't that your standards are too high, its that your standards are too low. Never let anyone treat you poorly and then make excuses for them by calling yourself insecure. If you change your idea of what is and is not acceptable in a relationship, you will attract/ date completely different guys, and they will most likely be ones that will much better compliment you.

[shayvanburen]

I was with this one guy for around a year, but he would always make me feel like shit. He'd call me names and always leave and come back at random times. I found out he was cheating the whole time. He had another girlfriend before he even met me. This was a few years ago, but he still tries to come back and get me to be his again. He keeps sending me dick pictures too and trying to say he loves me. I honestly don't get why he thinks I'm stupid. He has a YouTube channel that actually has a lot of subscribers now and there's a lot about this other girlfriend on there. Did he really think I'd never find out?

[hlisse]

"You didn't have depression, you were only exaggerating." Yeah dude depression doesn't exist, I was obviously overreacting when my parents divorced

[justguest]

How do you guys feel about your partner talking to his/her ex? Does it make you uncomfortable or are you okay with it?

[RoseHammer]

How do you guys feel about your partner talking to his/her ex? Does it make you uncomfortable or are you okay with it?

It depends on what kind of relationship they had, but I think it makes everyone a tad bit uncomfortable. However I'd just ask my SO about it out of curiousity.

This is just a vent, but I've come to find that my relationship has been making me incredibly anxious and just.. ugh. My bf got involved in some legal trouble and I accidentally did something that could have possibly made it worse. He didn't do anything wrong, but it's just.. complicated, seeing how to law system works. We've been through a lot together and I'm sure it will blow over into nothing. I tend to freak out over fairly insignificant things and he always has to calm me down and treat me with kid gloves, then I end up being embarrassed.

It's just a pain in the butt to have to worry about someone else's problems when you're already drowning in your own, on top of having the anxiety and depression like I do. Sometimes I feel like I need a vacation away, by myself. Trying to balance everything is driving me nuts.

[hlisse]

How do you guys feel about your partner talking to his/her ex? Does it make you uncomfortable or are you okay with it?

Big no. I was never afraid of showing my discontentment to my boyfriend either. Better stop it before it's too late.

How do you guys deal with girls who make move on your boyfriend and/or attempt to hook up with your boyfriend? Tell me your stories! I'm not good with confrontation and stuff but I fucking hate some girls who tried to touch my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is faithful, I know he loves me so much so these girls didn't tempt him even if just a bit. I just want to slap some senses to these girls but I'm terrible at confrontation so lol idk. The urge and the anger drive me mad sometimes

[prettykitty104]

Hi everyone! I'm new but I've been following this thread along with some other threads for quite some time, so I'm excited to finally post and share my opinions!

Anyways, I have a question for you ladies: how do you feel about dating guys who aren't that attractive? I'm friends with this guy who's pretty nerdy and not very physically appealing but has the sweetest, most kind personality. He told me that he likes me and I feel like I'm starting to like him back, but I'm worried about what my friends will say when they find out I'm dating him... Ugh I sound like a bitch but I can't help it, I always worry about other people's judgments. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation and can give me some advice? (I'm 18 and in college btw, if that makes a difference haha.)

[angelaj0921]

I don't want to date anymore.... I was happy to let go of the guy who treated me like crap. And, was happy to finally find a guy who has all the qualities I look for in a guy. On top of that he's beyond good looking. We talked for a while and even planned to go on a date. Then he told me he wasn't really looking to date. Maybe less than a week later, he started talking to me again, calling me and texting me a lot, and a few days later asked me if I could get him a job where I worked. SO, I pulled some strings, actually I pulled A LOT of strings and got him the job. As soon as he started working there, he stopped calling me and texting me completely. I thought it was odd and asked him about it today. He tells me, "Oh yeah I wanted to tell you that I started dating this other girl. That doesn't make things awkward between us right?".....I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders and said "fine." Really I felt crushed, but I didn't want him to know that. Apart from feeling slightly used, it just makes me feel down. Like, will I never catch a break and get a guy who actually wants to be with me that's worth my time. I don't want to settle for douche bags again, but at this point it feels like my only options are douche bags or being single. Not that there's anything wrong with being single, but I've been single my entire life, I don't want to be single forever. In five years, I'll be 30. I know that's not old, but still. I just want to know what is wrong with ME? Why does no guy ever choose me? I'm not abnormally weird, I'm down to earth, I'm told I'm attractive, and motivated. I just don't get it. I definitely don't think I'm the perfect package or anything, but I'm not that shabby. So here I am being sad. Oh well...

[TheStrokes]

I don't want to date anymore.... I was happy to let go of the guy who treated me like crap. And, was happy to finally find a guy who has all the qualities I look for in a guy. On top of that he's beyond good looking. We talked for a while and even planned to go on a date. Then he told me he wasn't really looking to date. Maybe less than a week later, he started talking to me again, calling me and texting me a lot, and a few days later asked me if I could get him a job where I worked. SO, I pulled some strings, actually I pulled A LOT of strings and got him the job. As soon as he started working there, he stopped calling me and texting me completely. I thought it was odd and asked him about it today. He tells me, "Oh yeah I wanted to tell you that I started dating this other girl. That doesn't make things awkward between us right?".....I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders and said "fine." Really I felt crushed, but I didn't want him to know that. Apart from feeling slightly used, it just makes me feel down. Like, will I never catch a break and get a guy who actually wants to be with me that's worth my time. I don't want to settle for douche bags again, but at this point it feels like my only options are douche bags or being single. Not that there's anything wrong with being single, but I've been single my entire life, I don't want to be single forever. In five years, I'll be 30. I know that's not old, but still. I just want to know what is wrong with ME? Why does no guy ever choose me? I'm not abnormally weird, I'm down to earth, I'm told I'm attractive, and motivated. I just don't get it. I definitely don't think I'm the perfect package or anything, but I'm not that shabby. So here I am being sad. Oh well...

Oh Angela
Get him fired.
Just kidding. Actually, I'm not.
It's a lot of trial and error. The right guy will come soon, promise. Focus on the little things- you're a kickass person based on what I can tell from your posts. Don't lower your expectations either, they are perfectly fine.

[ECH]

Fucking sexting me whilst seeing another girl. I'm so fucking pissed and he doesn't even get why I am. He's made me look like a right fool, being all hopeful that our relationship was going to go somewhere only to have it all blow up in my face because he doesn't have the decency to tell me he's sleeping with someone else. I'm so disappointed and pissed and angry and upset and I just don't bloody know what to do now because I look like a fool to everyone.

[Loilee]

@ECH if this is the same guy then you have found yourself a humdinger of an asshole. You shouldn't accept someone calling you 'crazy' or saying your depression is just for attention because he is talking out of his anus.

As for liking guys in relationships - i'd say don't bother, they're usually just bored and nothing comes of it except you getting hurt. I've had guys promise they were going to end it for me only for nothing to happen. And if you're feeling a little saucy then you can tell the girlfriend what he's been up to - that'll learn him.

[ECH]

@ECH if this is the same guy then you have found yourself a humdinger of an asshole. You shouldn't accept someone calling you 'crazy' or saying your depression is just for attention because he is talking out of his anus.

As for liking guys in relationships - i'd say don't bother, they're usually just bored and nothing comes of it except you getting hurt. I've had guys promise they were going to end it for me only for nothing to happen. And if you're feeling a little saucy then you can tell the girlfriend what he's been up to - that'll learn him.

Different guy. I just apparently have awful taste when it comes to men.

[angelaj0921]

I don't really know if this is the right thread to post this in. But, I thought I this was the most fitting without having to start my own topic. All the sexual abuse/rape/assault cases coming out on YouTube are very alarming, sickening, and disheartening. It's so crazy to think how many sleaze balls there are out there who so easily take advantage of people. But, I wrote that to say it reminded me of an encounter I had with a friend about a year ago. I don't know really how to classify it. Maybe it's neither assault, rape, or abuse but it was a pretty bad experience. Anyway, there was a guy who I was really good friends with. We were kind of dating, but definitely not an exclusive couple. However, we did fool every so often. Nothing to intimate though. Anyway, one day he decided he really wanted to have sex with me. However, I didn't want any part in that. I had to told him this from the beginning of our relationship, and I had told him many times that day that I didn't want to have sex with him. I guess this day he decided to show his power over me and not take no for an answer. Now, luckily he didn't actually force himself on me. I wasn't raped or anything. But, he did repeatedly do sexual stuff to me that I wasn't ok with and would hold me down despite me telling him to stop. (I don't really want to get into the details) I guess I said all that to say that still to this day I can't believe that happened to me. I never in a million years thought I would be put in that position, but like I said I'm thankful I wasn't actually forced to have sex because that probably would wreck me. After it happened I confronted the guy and told him that what he did was wrong and he kind of just brushed it off. But, I continued to talk to him and tell him why he was wrong and that it wasn't ok for him to force himself on me. He eventually got it, and actually apologized later on to my astonishment. But, there was definitely no way I was putting myself in that situation again after that.

As of now, I'm still pretty numb to the situation. I don't really know what to think. I'm not traumatized or anything, but I did feel like getting it off my chest and venting, since I've never shared it with anyone. I noticed when I first talked to him after the situation that he didn't really seem to think anything was wrong with what he did. Still to this day I'm wondering if it's because he was being a douche or do so many people for some reason actually not understand that no means NO, and not realize they are actually breaking the law and just wrong for forcing themselves on people. I really don't know. But, after going through the situation and now seeing just how many people have been affected by similar or even worse situations, it just reminds me how much awareness needs to be raised when it comes to sexual abuse/rape/assault/relationships in general.

I'm really scared to post this.

[gr4pefruits]

I don't really know if this is the right thread to post this in. But, I thought I this was the most fitting without having to start my own topic. All the sexual abuse/rape/assault cases coming out on YouTube are very alarming, sickening, and disheartening. It's so crazy to think how many sleaze balls there are out there who so easily take advantage of people. But, I wrote that to say it reminded me of an encounter I had with a friend about a year ago. I don't know really how to classify it. Maybe it's neither assault, rape, or abuse but it was a pretty bad experience. Anyway, there was a guy who I was really good friends with. We were kind of dating, but definitely not an exclusive couple. However, we did fool every so often. Nothing to intimate though. Anyway, one day he decided he really wanted to have sex with me. However, I didn't want any part in that. I had to told him this from the beginning of our relationship, and I had told him many times that day that I didn't want to have sex with him. I guess this day he decided to show his power over me and not take no for an answer. Now, luckily he didn't actually force himself on me. I wasn't raped or anything. But, he did repeatedly do sexual stuff to me that I wasn't ok with and would hold me down despite me telling him to stop. (I don't really want to get into the details) I guess I said all that to say that still to this day I can't believe that happened to me. I never in a million years thought I would be put in that position, but like I said I'm thankful I wasn't actually forced to have sex because that probably would wreck me. After it happened I confronted the guy and told him that what he did was wrong and he kind of just brushed it off. But, I continued to talk to him and tell him why he was wrong and that it wasn't ok for him to force himself on me. He eventually got it, and actually apologized later on to my astonishment. But, there was definitely no way I was putting myself in that situation again after that.

As of now, I'm still pretty numb to the situation. I don't really know what to think. I'm not traumatized or anything, but I did feel like getting it off my chest and venting, since I've never shared it with anyone. I noticed when I first talked to him after the situation that he didn't really seem to think anything was wrong with what he did. Still to this day I'm wondering if it's because he was being a douche or do so many people for some reason actually not understand that no means NO, and not realize they are actually breaking the law and just wrong for forcing themselves on people. I really don't know. But, after going through the situation and now seeing just how many people have been affected by similar or even worse situations, it just reminds me how much awareness needs to be raised when it comes to sexual abuse/rape/assault/relationships in general.

I'm really scared to post this.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

[hlisse]

@pinkbows I wanted to do that so much but my boyfriend didn't tell me right away after it happened so I would feel stupid for blasting out for something that had happened long time ago. We were drinking when he told me too, so I don't know why I didn't really feel like being mad. I got upset on my own when I got sober though. I'm so stupid I know quiet a lot of girls attempted to get closer to him but only one of them tried as far as wanting to have sex so I was shocked.

@angelaj0921 I'm sorry that such thing happened to you. Something is not right with the society when a man has to be told over and over that it's wrong to force himself on a woman who says 'no'.

[logicalnonsense]

How do you guys feel about your boyfriend having a lot of really close female friends? My boyfriend has like 4 really close friends that are girls and there's two of them that I don't mind at all because they're both in relationships and have kids so whatever. One of them is single but they don't hang out that often. The one that really bothers me does have a fiance but I'm not quite sure how strong their relationship is as they are on/off. She doesn't like me for something dumb that happened a couple years ago, but I never really had a problem with her before. What bugs me is I just feel like he sometimes pays more attention to her than me and she tags him in some really passive aggressive stuff on facebook like pictures of "not catching feelings" or whatever. Sometimes I think she just does it to bug me but I don't know. I think I'm just getting jealous for no reason so I haven't said anything about it to him. Any of you ever had a similar situation??

[ECH]

So you know, talking as usual, take a break for a few days because he has a crazy work week only for him to ignore any attempts to talk and post on social networks about how much better his life is without all that 'hassle' he used to have. Err ok then.

[aloha12]

Almost all of my exboyfriends friends were girls and that relationship was a total disaster. The girl he claimed was his "best friend" was also his exgirlfriend who he dated for around 6 years. They had both cheated on each other and shes now with the guy she cheated and has a kid with him and seems genuinely happy. I met her quite a few times and I got a good vibe from her and she seemed to well and truly moved on. However, my boyfriend at the time always spoke about he "would always love her". I dont know why I stayed with him. It was really fucked up. He had another female friend who I never met but just came across as a total bitch. She was single and he went to her house for a few drinks one night and "slept on her sofa" because her house was closer to his work. There was so many examples of shit like this since he only had like 2 male friends and 20 female friends. He also was genuinely pretty poor too, worked at a supermarket full time and lived in a council flat but he spent money like crazy. He had literally no furniture in his flat exept a sofa, bed and tv stand and all his floors were bare floorboard. Yet he spend around £2000 to be a third wheel and go on a roadtrip around mainland europe for 3 weeks. He called me up when they were in Paris saying they needed to book a different hotel but he had no money left. So I transferred him the money for it and then I see a photo on facebook that they are staying in a fancy spa hotel getting spa treatments! For our entire relationship he always owed me money. He would pay me back and then need to borrow again a few days later. It was always hundreds of pounds at a time. He also used to use payday loan lenders which give you, for example, £100 but you have to pay back £150 in a month. And he was in thousands of pounds of debt with that which could have been avoided if he lived within his means. And it was always me to bail him out. It took him breaking up with me before I realised how much I disliked him. When we broke up he still owed me about £200 and I was just gonna wait til it appeared in my bank account but my sister phoned me saying he put on instgram he bought and ipad. Omg I was furious.