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Failed friendships?

Failed friendships?

Postby Catattack2010 » Thu Sep 06, 2018 9:03 pm

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while mostly reading the boards but I never really had the opportunity to post.

I've noticed lately how difficult it has been for me to find a friend to rely on. Is this the case with anyone else? I have more toxic friendships than I can count. Women with so much drama, and that would be the only thing they would want to focus on. They would talk my ear off about it, and I'd try to change the subject and they will bring it right back to drama. I can't handle friendships like this anymore. I'd rather talk about happy things, things we have in common, push each other with new ideas about ourselves, the future, ect. Not some drama about a mutual friend. I recently ended a friendship with someone where we had two other mutual friends of which they all came with her so now they have all stop talking to me collectively. Is it so bad that I no longer want something like this out of a friendship though? I don't want to sit through drama. I also felt like these girls were talking about me behind my back because they talked badly about each other to me all the time!!!! I never even contributed to this drama circle, I never talked to them about my "drama" in my life or anything, but STILL. I just knew they were fake from the start.
I am so tried of having friends like this it's like an endless cycle.

Anyone else going through what I'm going through? I know I still have some years left to branch out my social circles. I'm 26 but sometimes I feel like the clock is ticking. And sometimes I wonder if it's my fault that I keep consistently meeting crappy people. I have anxiety issues and it makes my anxiety worse.. I just think, if I've met so many people like this, what's to say it wont happen all over again and again with more people I meet? I hope I dont sound as pathetic as I feel. Life is not like social media where you are traveling around the world with a big gang of girlfriends, you know? Quality over quantity any day!


Anyway, I hope someone can relate to me. Thank the lord this is anonymous.
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Re: Failed friendships?

Postby sunnygossip » Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:33 am

i think most of us can relate to this, sadly.
honestly drop them, i know that's kinda scary to say when you're in your mid 20s. is there anyone in the group who you feel like might be on the same page as you? i'm pretty close in age and i am so awkward with meeting people, but i've come to realize that if someone is really going to be my friend theyre gonna see past my socially awkward anxiety ridden exterior. same for you!

i spent my last 2 years of high school with one good friend because i dropped a group of petty and toxic people who were barely friends to one another. at the time i felt a bit like a loser, but thinking back i'm so glad i did what i did. i have 3 really solid friends and that's all i need.

thinking back now i don't even know why they continued to hang out when people were always talking behind each other's backs. after high school the whole group fell apart anyway. so pretty much exactly your situation.

i don't know if this is helpful at all, but at the very least i hope you know you're not alone!
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Re: Failed friendships?

Postby Catattack2010 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:00 pm

sunnygossip wrote:i think most of us can relate to this, sadly.
honestly drop them, i know that's kinda scary to say when you're in your mid 20s. is there anyone in the group who you feel like might be on the same page as you? i'm pretty close in age and i am so awkward with meeting people, but i've come to realize that if someone is really going to be my friend theyre gonna see past my socially awkward anxiety ridden exterior. same for you!

i spent my last 2 years of high school with one good friend because i dropped a group of petty and toxic people who were barely friends to one another. at the time i felt a bit like a loser, but thinking back i'm so glad i did what i did. i have 3 really solid friends and that's all i need.

thinking back now i don't even know why they continued to hang out when people were always talking behind each other's backs. after high school the whole group fell apart anyway. so pretty much exactly your situation.

i don't know if this is helpful at all, but at the very least i hope you know you're not alone!




Thank you girl for your response. I feel so much better knowing someone else out there has gone through the same thing. I don't feel so bad about me leaving that friend group as much as I feel about myself always attracting toxic friendships.

You're totally right though, these friend groups are fickle. As soon as they emerge it's like they fade away just as quick. I'm not even going to sweat it that I'd be missing out on fun times with them, since many times they would hang out without me anyway and I'd only realize that by checking social media. I never confronted them about why they wouldn't invite me along because I didn't want to appear desperate and I wanted to look like I had a busy life. I know I'm a loser. After reading this I definitely won't want to contact anyone from that group.

Anyway, you are right that we need to drop toxic people. They're exhausting emotionally, physically and mentally. I want to put out a want ad online that I'm seeking 1 best friend, my age or older. Must like alochol, must have a brain, must hate drama. Lol.
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Re: Failed friendships?

Postby Catattack2010 » Thu Oct 04, 2018 9:02 pm

sunnygossip wrote:i think most of us can relate to this, sadly.
honestly drop them, i know that's kinda scary to say when you're in your mid 20s. is there anyone in the group who you feel like might be on the same page as you? i'm pretty close in age and i am so awkward with meeting people, but i've come to realize that if someone is really going to be my friend theyre gonna see past my socially awkward anxiety ridden exterior. same for you!

i spent my last 2 years of high school with one good friend because i dropped a group of petty and toxic people who were barely friends to one another. at the time i felt a bit like a loser, but thinking back i'm so glad i did what i did. i have 3 really solid friends and that's all i need.

thinking back now i don't even know why they continued to hang out when people were always talking behind each other's backs. after high school the whole group fell apart anyway. so pretty much exactly your situation.

i don't know if this is helpful at all, but at the very least i hope you know you're not alone!




Thank you girl for your response. I feel so much better knowing someone else out there has gone through the same thing. I don't feel so bad about me leaving that friend group as much as I feel about myself always attracting toxic friendships.

You're totally right though, these friend groups are fickle. As soon as they emerge it's like they fade away just as quick. I'm not even going to sweat it that I'd be missing out on fun times with them, since many times they would hang out without me anyway and I'd only realize that by checking social media. I never confronted them about why they wouldn't invite me along because I didn't want to appear desperate and I wanted to look like I had a busy life. I know I'm a loser. After reading this I definitely won't want to contact anyone from that group.

Anyway, you are right that we need to drop toxic people. They're exhausting emotionally, physically and mentally. I want to put out a want ad online that I'm seeking 1 best friend, my age or older. Must like alochol, must have a brain, must hate drama. Lol.
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