dontmakememakeyou wrote:I also think that y'all are putting too much weight on the passion part of relationships! Passion doesn't sustain a relationship. Comfort, security, trust and companionship do (and probably some other things). That's why relationships that are crazy passionate tend to burn out and people who are overall crazy passionate are more likely to seek satisfaction from extramarital partners, leave their spouses, etc. Chemistry is obviously important but being obsessed with each other is recipe for failure, I've found. It sets unrealistic expectations for your partner and your life together. I think she is perfectly happy from what we've seen, and maybe she wonders about "doing better," but I think she's perfectly content and isn't displaying these lazy behaviours as an indicator of dissatisfaction/depression but as an expression of comfort and trust. She always had to put on a show when she was with CG and she even admits that she's always been lazy. It's not like we're suddenly seeing Heidi become lazy and boring because that would be seriously concerning. I think Nikki is perfectly happy but I think she does also need to find other sources of validation outside her relationship, particularly in the form of a part-time job, hobby or community service. If she was feeling accomplished and productive, we would see that spark in her eyes again. I don't think it's related to Miles at all, and I think he's a perfectly good partner for her. People only become motivated when they decide to do it, it's never the influence of other people. If she wants to do more, she'll eventually do it (or not.)
TLDR: I think her and Miles are happy together and it's not that she's unhappy with Miles, she's unhappy with the rest of her life.
JMO
Lol sorry, but I disagree and find it sad if people are willing to just accept that passionate relationships burn out because of all the passion haha... That just leaves boring pairings of people that are just comfortable with each other enough to not bother doing anything else. I know plenty of people that are in long term, happy relationships where they push each other, are still crazy in love like they were when they were young and they're doing just fine.
I do not look at couples like Miles and Nikki who are boring and complacent and think "wow goals. they look like they'll go the long haul, I wish I had that"
It's just my two cents, I think I could find myself in a boring, comfortable relationship and be fine but I strive to find someone who pushes me to be the best version of me and I'm excited to wake up next to for decades to come and I think Nikki and you ladies should too lmao
That's 3 minutes and 56 seconds I will never get back.
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