Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

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Kailee4567
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Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by Kailee4567 » Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:22 am

I feel as if every graduate has felt this way. I am graduation this year from high school, and the more I think about it the scarier it seems.
For the first three years of high school I kept to myself, and I worked a lot. Saved up a lot of money for school and did well in school and I still do. But now, I am the happiest I have ever been. I've never really been social, but senior year brought something out in me I never knew I had. I have so many friends now, and always someone to do something with and great memories made thus far. I don't want to leave them behind, since everyone says you never talk to your high school friends. That hurts.
I applied for a few universities. One baptist one id really love to go to, because I'd be with likeminded people and their education program is the best in my province. This UNI is two hours away, so I'd have to leave home, leave my friends and family and get my own small apartment. My mom coddles me, so I have no clue how to do laundry or cook. I am also going to take french courses at the college there so I can become bilingual. And I'd be switching my job over to the new city, which is much bigger than my hometown. That's also scary. I'm scared I won't make friends and I'll be lonely and I lose everything I have.... That I love...
I mean its exciting, but I'm more scared. My bestfriend might move with me, but that's fairly Uncertian at this time, so im going to assume I'll be alone. What if i dont make friends? Or lose all my friends now? What if i do bad in university? Or I starve because i cant cook? Everything can go wrong...
Help :(

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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by rachz » Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:42 am

Hiya, you're right that most graduates have had this feeling at one point, so you're definitely not alone.
I would recommend talking to some of your friends about it, seeing what they're doing, where they're planning on moving to etc. It could well be that someone you know will be going to the same uni, or at least the same city as you!

If you come from a small-ish town, then there's a good chance everyone will be moving away to some extent anyway. It's true that a lot of people (myself included unfortunately) don't talk to high school friends very much anymore. It's nobody's fault, it's just that with the distance, and the lack of time, nobody has hours to sit on the computer talking to people or weekends free to meet up. Another thing that you'll find is that people in highschool only tend to be friends because they happen to be doing the same thing, and that without that linking them together, they realise they don't actually have as much in common as they thought. All that being said, i do certainly know people who have stayed in touch and are still very good friends with their high school mates so it's definitely possible, especially with things like FB, skype etc!

About the whole not knowing how to cook, do laundry, your mum being protective - have you talked to your mum about it? does she know you're going to be moving away? You could maybe sit and have a chat with her and get her to teach you a couple of basic recipes, and life skills for living alone so that you feel more prepared! You could look up recipes and offer to cook for everyone in the evening, just little things like that will make the transition a lot easier.

Something to remember is that when going to uni, everyone is in the same boat, in the sense that nobody knows each other, most people will have moved out of their family home and will be very unfamiliar with the environment. This makes it a perfect opportunity to make new friends, because everyone will be lonely and looking for people to chat to, sit with etc. The main thing for that is not to shy away from it all, sit next to new people in classes, get to know your new work colleagues and neighbours, join some societies. Uni is set up so you can communicate and meet new people as easily as possible!

If you have any more questions, or want to keep chatting, feel free to send me a PM and i'll be happy to chat! :) hope this helped a bit though!

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yteri
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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by yteri » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:08 am

Life is scary but that's just a part of living, you have literally nothing to worry about. Uni is one of the most fun experiences you'll go through and everyone is worried of the same things that you are but they get over it by Fresher's Week lol. I haven't gone to uni yet (I should do in about 2 years) but I'll address all your concerns based off of my friends and sibling's experiences and what they've told me:
Kailee4567 wrote:What if i dont make friends? Or lose all my friends now? What if i do bad in university? Or I starve because i cant cook? Everything can go wrong...
Help :(
"What if I don't make friends?"
If you're in halls a lot of the time your put into a flat with similar age groups and sometimes even by course. It's likely that the people in your halls will be doing similar degrees too if they're staying in halls that's near to their campus where they'll be studying. If not, you'll meet people in bars and clubs and around the uni.

"What if I lose all my friends now?"

It's highly unlikely that you'll still be in contact with your school friends by the first term of uni, the same goes for your school friends in the jump to college/sixth form. From everyone I'm friends with that have been to uni, they've all said they only remained friends/in contact with 1 or 2 of their school friends but if they've left uni already have still remained in contact with their uni friends even after they've left. They said in hindsight, they were mainly friends because school is its own little bubble and you're all crammed in there because well you have to be. Such is life and it happens at every stage of it.

"What if I do bad at university?"

You'll be ok. You get out what you put in. If you're willing to spend time and actually do your work and essays or whatever on time then you should be ok. Uni is mostly about fun but you need to remember to have some balance. It's a big jump from school but you should be able to manage it if you stay organised and put the effort in but at the same time remember you don't need to be a recluse to do well, still manage to have a social life haha.

"What if I starve because I don't know how to cook?"

Knowing how to cook is the least of your worries. Having the money to cook is with the wonderfulness of student life and its loans. When you're at uni you'll discover the magical world of Aldi, ready meals and Pot Noodles.

Just be friendly, don't be a knob, make sure to have fun as in go on nights out but manage to get work done at the same time. You don't need to worry really about not getting on with people because the bitchiness of school life has gone away and people have grown up over the summer. Make sure to choose which university by also taking into account the city itself like how good the nightlife is and other things, not just the prestige of it. You don't have to go somewhere really smart and fancy like Oxford to go to a good uni. Find a good middle ground that is respectable enough as a uni but in a good city. Don't go somewhere in the middle of nowhere otherwise you're going to be bored out of your mind at a time of your life when you should be going out and having fun.

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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by PecanPancakes » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:41 am

Awe, sweet girl, you will be fine. I am sure I will mimick what others have said but so much of what you said registered with my own life at 17. None of my friends were going to the university I was and I can be extremely shy when meeting new people but you said that you did make friends and guess what, you will make friends again.

I would suggest trying to look at it as a new adventure in life. You are just starting out in your life, compared to someone like me who is 35. You have your whole life ahead and you can mold it to your own liking. If you ever feel like you are in the passenger seat, then tell yourself you will be driving now. You have to be your biggest cheerleader in life. No one honey will fight for you as much as you!

You can learn very quickly how to do laundry. It's not hard. I do about 3 loads a day and only ruin maybe one item a year. You can also learn how to cook very easy meals. My very best advice would be to get a slow cooker. Honestly, you can just dump (that sounds gross) whatever you have in the freezer into it, add some seasonings, and when you come home your food is prepared. You could start doing these things now and by September you will be a master chef.

As a mother of two, let me give you some real advice.

1. Take at least one self defense class. Bring your mom or a friend but learn how to protect yourself.
2. Try to get a home alarm system. You can buy somethings at Lowes even. It doesn't have to be monitored to be safe. Put Alarm stickers on your windows and door.
3. Maybe get a dog if you can. Not only will you have a friend to come home to but again I am a safety nerd.
4. When you go to parties, never leave your drink alone. Poor it yourself too. Have a buddy that isn't going to ''party'' to watch out for everyone.
5. Make sure if you are sexually active that you have condoms, don't leave it up to the guy and if you are having sex get on birth control.
6. Relax, just from reading what you wrote, I can tell you are a sweet and kind person. You are going to be fine. You will meet friends and you will learn how to take care of everything that needs to be taken care of.
7. Have fun. This is your life. You are just beginning. Take good care of yourself and know that I will be thinking of you and hoping you are having an awesome time.

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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by kayleeee » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:47 pm

First of all, it;s ok to be scared. It is a BIG transition.

You won't lose all of your friends from high school. I've lost touch with a few but the few I remain in contact with are my best friends.

Clubs, Greek organizations, Apartments/dorms are great ways to make friends and find your group.

Learn laundry, basic cooking skills. I had to learn a few of these skills too. Heck, I asked my mom one time if the bank would give me a roll of quarters for laundry (no duh they do)

College is all about the learning experience. Sometimes you fail and sometimes you win. You just have to go with it and learn as you go on.

Work hard in your classes, talk to your professors if you run into trouble many would be happy to help.

I hope my advice helped. I felt all over the place.
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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by takoyaki » Sun Jan 31, 2016 10:46 pm

I'm sorry but my perspective is going to be a little different... I knew a couple of people from the 'popular' crowd and when they said they were going to universities in other places across the country, I was SO confused. As a person who has difficulty building relationships with people, I found it so crazy that they were going to leave all their close friends behind. But those people happened to be quite extroverted so maybe they did alright where they went.

But for you it seems like you waver between since you said you weren't social until senior year... you can easily waver back into being not so social.

For me, I don't think being two hours away is very far? Is the transportation really bad? Do you have to take an expensive train? If I were you, I would move inbetween and just be an hour away from your home and the university. Meeting high school friends wouldn't be hard if you meet half way again and only have to travel half an hour. but I don't know how it works in your location...

But despite all I've said, the choice of university is very important. Don't compromise just because of your friends which you could also possibly fall out with even if you still lived near them and went to the same university.

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Re: Terrified to graduate high school: I need advice please

Post by UsedToLoveThem » Sat Mar 05, 2016 4:25 am

Just go for it! We were all afraid to do it but you will be fine! Two hours away isn't that much, if you are extremely homesick you can visit your parents on the weekends. I absolutely recommend moving out. Because in uni there will be deadlines to meet and sometimes long nights spent studying, you won't have time to travel every day.

Just know this: No one - absolutely no one - will stay in their hometown because they have high school friends there. They will all leave or start to do new things. Many people you know now will change so drastically you'll no longer recognize them and in some cases absolutely don't want to be friends with anymore. I know it is scary but the decision after graduation is probably the most selfish one you should ever make!
This is about you, your future, your dreams. About the job you want, the opportunities to fulfill dreams and do what you always wanted to do...

It's unlikely that you'll be all alone. You are having friends now, you know how interacting with people works. People who like the same things will sit in the same classes. Unless school where you've been thrown together with a random lot in uni you sit together with people who are interested in their study subjects aka the same things you've chosen. The chance of meeting people who'll have a lot in common with you has never been higher in your life.
There are also study groups you can join and sometimes you'll do so out of necessity. It's impossible not to find people to go out with! In fact, most of them will be as scared as you are and will be happy about the question if they want to go grab a bite or watch a movie with you and so on.

But you should learn how to do your laundry and some simple household skills. Learning how to balance money is also important. Cooking really isn't that important, uni is stressful and there will be times when you are happy you've had time to eat an apple for lunch or the above mentioned cup noodles. It's not that students like to eat instant meals but it's often a must or else there would not be enough time to balance studying, work and so on.
So no, even with atrocious cooking skills you won't starve! If you are lucky you'll have a cafeteria on campus and can eat there or you stick to raw food and so on.
YouTube also has numerous cooking and some household "how to" videos from beginner level to expert. Not to forget these oldschool helpful things called "books".


When I moved out I moved from a village to a megacity. And man, I was so scared! Truth is: There will be more cars and more people, everything will be bigger and louder and you'll encounter shops and food chains you've never heard of before. If you dare you'll discover that you like Thai food but absolutely hate Indian cuisine because it's way too spicy for you. If not, you'll walk past these restaurants and don't care about their existence. But that's all that is to it, in the end it's not such a big deal and I can only laugh about all the horror stories my mind came up with pre-moving. :D The things you imagine are way worse than what it's going to be in the end ;)
I was also scared about being alone but by week three I had a group to hang out with and by the end of the first semester we've all grown very close. We are still friends today so don't worry - you'll be fine!

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