The Official Schuerman Glossary!

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The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

Are you befuddled by Sam and Jay's choice of words? Feeling lost? No worries, the helpful GG linguists will help you to speak fluent "Schuerman" in no time!
This is just a brief start - please add your Schuerman-isms below!



3-minute hug: sexual intercourse

Baby Sistor: Sam's purposely misspelled term for her sister, Christiana.

Dah-dee: what Samantha, a grown woman, calls her husband. See also "Mah-mee."

Fartbag: GG's affectionate term for the Schuerman's giant brown couch. See also: "fartbaggin" - ie lounging on the fartbag.

Haul: "Products I'll open, sniff, and swatch, then return tomorrow."

Pamela Hughes: Schuerman Show's biggest fan, comment police, and ass-kisser.

Shout-out: "Please sponsor us and send us free stuff."

Slop: Jay's cooking.

Swole, Get your swole on: What Jay does at the gym. Even though the only thing getting bigger is his fat gut.

Warriors in Pink (WIP): the source of Jay's new car.

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

Ham, Hambeast, Hammy: Jay

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by WhenWillItEnd »

Can't forget prezzies (sp?) When they drop not so subtle hints so that their minions will send them free crap. Usually more plastic junk for the kids to not play with, just filling up their swiss cheese, plastic kingdom.

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by wtfisWRONGwithyou »

Ladies! How could you? You forgot to add

"-ingk" A special suffix used only by Samantha Schuerman

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

"Allergic" - "I don't wash, so I break out."

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

Cheat day = "Going to eat anything I want, just like every other day. Hey, are those free samples...??"

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The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

Miss miss- what Sham (Sam and ham) call Lilly in the most shrill annoying screechy baby voice possible. Mean while, Phoenix is called more affectionate names such as, baby, angel and sometimes beautiful angel. Other less affectionate nicknames for Lilly are "lill bill" "Lilian" and "missy"


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

"Din dins" SAMs word for dinner. Because Sam can't be bothered to chew food, let alone say the entire word.


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

Minion- A term for the cult like followers of the Schuerman's. They have been convinced into drinking the koolaid. One must never drink the koolaid because once you do, the Schuerman's can never do wrong.


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

Starbuckie- what SHam call starbucks. It's SAMs bitchy way of saying Starbucks is stuck up, snooty and expensive. Meanwhile she buys 182939 MAC blushes.


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by hellyeah »

Delightful- when Sam thinks something is nice or good.

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

"Perfecto!" What Sam says to the kids every time they do somethink wrong. Because Sam would never correct her precious babies. It's also the reason Lilly is bilingual and knows the word "owwah" (Aqua).


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Desert Wind »

Pelt-Peltneck: Jobless Jay's own "special" brand of nasty, unkempt, lazy beard growth. So named because the pelt is uneven, grows down his neck and everywhere else, resembling the pelt of a mangy animal.

Jobless Jay: This one should be obvious. ;) Jay refuses to work either outside the home or in it. Hence, Jobless Jay. See also: Fartbag, Fartbagging.

Helicopter: Term for way over protective, constantly hovering mothers like Sam, who think that the way to raise kids is to constantly have them with her or she with them, every waking moment. Sam refuses to leave her kids alone in a room or to leave the house if they are awake.

Trauma: What Sam and Jobless Jay think will be inflicted upon their children if they attempt to properly parent them. No is never said, except by the children, who rule the roost. Sam is nothing more than a short order cook (if she cooked) and doormat.
Just Me :DMod Hat On :D

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The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by jhnsn2323 »

Scottiemom87 wrote:Miss miss- what Sham (Sam and ham) call Lilly in the most shrill annoying screechy baby voice possible. Mean while, Phoenix is called more affectionate names such as, baby, angel and sometimes beautiful angel. Other less affectionate nicknames for Lilly are "lill bill" "Lilian" and "missy"


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CAUSE LILLY IS A MEAN ASS CHILD THATS ALWAYS PISSED OFF!!!!!
I see that they favor the lil bitch!!!

I can't stand to hear Sam pronounce the G at the end of anything! Repulsive!

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

jhnsn2323 wrote:
Scottiemom87 wrote:Miss miss- what Sham (Sam and ham) call Lilly in the most shrill annoying screechy baby voice possible. Mean while, Phoenix is called more affectionate names such as, baby, angel and sometimes beautiful angel. Other less affectionate nicknames for Lilly are "lill bill" "Lilian" and "missy"


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CAUSE LILLY IS A MEAN ASS CHILD THATS ALWAYS PISSED OFF!!!!!
I see that they favor the lil bitch!!!

I can't stand to hear Sam pronounce the G at the end of anything! Repulsive!
Lilly may be an ornery little shit, but at least she is an independent thinker, unlike P. There is seriously nothing going on in that child's head. Lilly at least shows some emotion.
Her stupid parents don't help her learn to speak correctly, and the majority of her frustration comes from her not being able to communicate. I mean if I had to live in that house with Sam and her stretchy fucking baby voice and constant hovering, jay with his lisping and the slop he makes me for dinner, and the devil heart beat machine every time I had to sleep to cover up the sounds of mommy and daddy and their 3 minute hugs, I would be a raging bitch too. Lol


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

"Cute" - the only adjective in Jay the Genius's vocabulary

"Chick-chicks" - baby chicks. Following in the Schuerman tradition of doubling up on words. See Din-Din, Miss-Miss.

"Moomie" - their long suffering dog, whose name is actually Pixie.

"Kissy": how you say kiss in baby talk. Often screeched. See also: sleepy (n.) ie "Did you have a good sleepy??"

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by Scottiemom87 »

FatalFlaw wrote:"Cute" - the only adjective in Jay the Genius's vocabulary

"Chick-chicks" - baby chicks. Following in the Schuerman tradition of doubling up on words. See Din-Din, Miss-Miss.

"Moomie" - their long suffering dog, whose name is actually Pixie.

"Kissy": how you say kiss in baby talk. Often screeched. See also: sleepy (n.) ie "Did you have a good sleepy??"
How did that even happen with then changing moo's name?


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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by jhnsn2323 »

Well that's okay of u guys see it that way. I see the opposite. No big deal.

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by jhnsn2323 »

ForeverIlliterate wrote:
jhnsn2323 wrote:
Scottiemom87 wrote:Miss miss- what Sham (Sam and ham) call Lilly in the most shrill annoying screechy baby voice possible. Mean while, Phoenix is called more affectionate names such as, baby, angel and sometimes beautiful angel. Other less affectionate nicknames for Lilly are "lill bill" "Lilian" and "missy"


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CAUSE LILLY IS A MEAN ASS CHILD THATS ALWAYS PISSED OFF!!!!!
I see that they favor the lil bitch!!!

I can't stand to hear Sam pronounce the G at the end of anything! Repulsive!
Wouldn't you be pissed off too if your parents were absolute idiots? I think lily has a lot to say, but her parents can't be bothered to help her express it, and that's why she gets angry. She's not a mean child, if anything Phoenix is mean ( always stealing Lilly's toys, taking food from peoples plates, etc), like I said, she has a lot more brains than probably anyone in that household but she can't express it. Poor little girl, I really hope she rebels when she is older and can tell her mother off
I see the opposite of what you see, but we all have opinions.

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Re: The Official Schuerman Glossary!

Post by FatalFlaw »

Back on topic - "breast milk" a magical elixir that cures everything from athlete's foot to malaria!

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